And the pre-Shark Week/The Dark Knight adoration comes to an end. What a long, strange trip it’s been. Let’s just enjoy a few links and quietly and calmly slip into the weekend…

For starters, a 15 year old Florida kid didn’t jump the shark, he jumped on it. Apparently sharks don’t fucking like that.

Dark Knight star Christian Bale was arrested for apparently assaulting his mother and sister in a London hotel room. The thing is… I don’t think this makes him look all that bad to anyone. I mean, he’s Christian Bale, for fuck’s sake. When you hear this story, you kinda wonder if his mother and sister deserved it (they were apparently talking shit about his wife).

Are you looking for love? Are you also looking for BRRAAAINNNNSSS?

Sometimes crime is the only option for dwarves. That, or being tosssed.

Dane Cook inspires crime spree! Probably a good thing since he doesn’t really inspire laughs anymore.

Ben Stein is a smart guy, but sometimes he’s also an idiot. Glenn Beck, whose show he appeared on, is always an idiot.

Turns out, anecdotes are not science.

Elvis wasn’t just the king of rock n’ roll, he may’ve also been the ancient Roman god of it.

Remember the baby on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind? Well, he’s 17 now. And he’s kind of glad that so many people have seen his cock.

Comic-Con is this weekend in San Diego, so there’ll probably be all sorts of previews for upcoming movies and TV shows coming out of that since Hollywood has really jumped on that avenue and started humping it to death. There may even be some comic book news coming out of there too, who knows. Last year they repeated attendance above 125,000 people so I don’t even want to think about what that looks like this year.

The world’s first test tube baby turned 30 today.

NASA is considering exploring sex in space. (Me too!)

Speaking of space, apparently aliens have visited Earth and no one told me?

Oh, and turns out that aliens and UFOs are actually just fallen angels? That’s just… great.

And speaking of nutcases: Ultimate Christian Wrestling. Seriously. I invite you to look at the pictures. These guys look like they should be out winning white trash equivalent of Tony’s somewhere.

But that’s okay because the sex convention is offering half price admission to Christian missionaries.

Deerhoof are approaching the remix in a fresh new way.

The Dark Knight‘s already made about $200 million at the box office, and has become the fastest movie to do so (it crossed that milestone on Tuesday), so $300 million is considered not that far away. This movie will most likely be in the $400 million club.

If they (and of course, when) they do a third Batman movie in this current cycle, I wonder if they can get the permission from Frank Miller to just call it “The Goddamn Batman.” I’m sure he’d have no mind as long as their was lots of scantily clad caricatures of women and images of dark knight perverting the youth and kicking prostitutes in the stomach.

George W. Bush = Batman?

Here’s an excellent Mamma Mia review. Speaking of movies that look more painful than cancer, Step Brothers and the aforementioned X-Files 2 came out today. I don’t plan to see them, but I wonder if poor Commander Light is going to. The problem (or one of them, at least) with Step Brothers, is that it looks like John C. Reilly and Will Farrell are playing the exact same character. But then again, you could say that ever since Reilly entered the Appatow-ized movies, he’s been basically playing Will Farrell in different roles. You could’ve dropped Will Farrell into Walk Hard at any point and not missed a beat.

Well, that seems like a good time as any to wrap up this cap off to pre-Shark Week mania/The Dark Knight celebration…

Remember: Actual Shark Week starts on Sunday.

Want a good Batman story to read? Try the David Lapham’s 12 part bizarre oddity “City Of Crime.” It’s not so much of an inspiration for the new movie like The Long Halloween or The Killing Joke, but it does share one quality with The Dark Knight: Batman fails. A lot.

And coming soon here on Counterforce: Occam Razor! You’re going to want to make sure you have something to clean yourself up a bit after that.