I suppose I deserved this. All my intuition told me to stay away, but my curiosity won out and I went and paid real cash money to see The X-Files: I Do Not Want To Believe. This is a bad movie. Could have been edited down into a subpar monster of the week episode, maybe. It’s as though Chris Carter was off camera for every scene shouting “No no no! Sadder! More dourer! Play it totally humorless! Like you’ve just been diagnosed with a terminal illness!” What the hell is Amanda Peet doing here? And Exibit? What’s with all the snow? wtf. Only three things need to be taken from this movie:
1 • Russians are bad human beings. But we already knew that.
2 • West Virginia should be avoided at all cost. But we already knew that.
3 • The Catholics are Doing It Wrong. But we already knew that too.
Don’t go see this movie. You’ll regret it.