We have a simple one.

“Dear Vin Diesel, I have a question for you, and it’s a simple one: HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE A CAREER?”

Wow, that’s a good one. While logging into my social networking site du jour for some daily folksonomic gratification, I happened to be treated to this ad:

For the upcoming Vin Diesel movie, Babylon A.D.

Curious (about how uncontrollably bad it looked) I then watched the trailer, which looks like this:

Wow. That looks glow in the dark stupid. Like if you were to beat and rape Children Of Men and lock it in a dungeon (like that poor Fritzl woman in Austria) of mediocrity for a few years and then force it to mate with a Milla Jovovich action movie. And then unleash it on the unassuming masses who’ll pay for just about anything. I feel like like I’d rather be on ‘ludes for a year that be locked in a dark room with this movie for a few hours.

It may be stretching a bit, but I think I’d rather watch a year long documentary about the glam metal band Babylon A.D. while on methaqualone than spend any time with Vin Diesel.

Oh, and don’t think I didn’t notice you in there slumming it up a bit too, Michelle Yeoh. 2008 is truly becoming your year for big crapfest Hollywood films, isn’t it?

You too, Mattieu Kassovitz, I mean… What the hell? You were in Munich and Amelie, for fuck’s sake. Ah, but wikipedia, tells me you actually directed this movie, this Vin fucking Diesel movie. Watch out, man, because I feel like kicking you square in your French balls.

I honestly can’t believe the guy that was Fast And The Furious (which I liked a hell of lot better the first time, you know, when it was called Point Break!) still is making movies. At least Paul Walker had the decency to fall of the face of the planet.

I think I’d rather spend two hours with Shaq Diesel.

Oh, and look at that, Wikipedia (our most important cultural oracle) tells me that Mr. Diesel has become a huge World Of Warcraft nerd. Wow. I didn’t think it was possible, but now I think I hate this guy even more.