India won their first individual Olympic Gold Medal ever the other day. Dude by the name of Abhinav Bindra. You know what it was for? Air-rifling. What a disgrace. Just look at the picture of that guy. My sympathies go out to you, peoples of the Indian nation. If I were from the sub-continent, I would demand that this dork decline the gold metal. This is like a home run ball that you throw back. Poor Indians, now their only claim to world sports fame is a fucking gold medal in fucking BB-guns. This dude looks like he practiced for the event by going paint-balling and having LAN parties with his buds from the dorm. That, sir, is not an Olympic athlete. Right now, Curling medalists are snickering “pussy” under their breath and feeling better about themselves. BB-gun shooting is an Olympic event? Fuck. How the hell has a big, modern country like India not won a real gold medal yet? Shouldn’t the other big nations bag it in like shot-putting or something just as a matter of courteous diplomacy? France has a shitload of gold medals, wtf? (editor’s note: with the Democratic Party sweep of Congress in 2006, it was once again deemed okay to make fun of the French.)
If any of our fellow world citizens of Indian descent are reading this, please offer up your own takes. Would you rather India won the gold in a cheesy event for the symbolism of it, or would you prefer the slate was clean until a more impressive victory came along?
On the other hand, I would totally watch an international competition of Nerd Games featuring paintball, Halo 3, Mario Kart, Mini-Golf, Street Fighter II, water-balloon launching and the like. That would kick ass. But only if the nerds had to play in every event. You wouldn’t want some ringer who was only there for the air hockey to skew the results.
In other news, Counterforce apologizes for the lack of an update from Occam Razor this week on Living in a Post Peak Oil World. Mr. Razor shall return next week. Suffice it to say, the ability to shoot an air-rifle with extreme accuracy is not one of the life skills needed to survive in a Post Peak Oil World. Especially if you’re shooting plastic pellets. Which, as we all know, are made of oil. Mr. Bindra had better hope he can parlay that shiny medallion into some big-bootied ‘tang if he wishes to make it in the Post Peak Oil crisis.