I'm not saying he likes little boys

You know why? You fucking know why? Cause sometime back in the day, Benji’s mom read from “Dr.” Dobson that the best way to keep the younglings in line was to grab them and squeeze them by the fleshy part of the shoulder. Some kind of Blessed Vulcan Neck Pinch shit. So that’s what Yours Truly had to put up with in his formative years, getting squeezed. And a lot of that was my Moms, but that was James D. doing the squeezing too. That’s reason enough to hate the fucker right there, but on top of that he’s also your poster boy for pompous, pious right wing evangelical assholes too. I could link to some shit, but Dobson ain’t worth the effort. (editor’s note: fuck it)

He’s got a magazine called “Focus on the Family,” a bullshit little rag that trojan horses all of its religious proselytizing under the guise of good parenting advice. Parakeets gotta shit somewhere. Motherfucker wrote a book called “What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women.” Seriously! Most left-leaning folk wouldn’t mind giving this Doc a cockpunch if he crossed their paths, but me: I ever see this dude IRL, I’m going straight for his goddamn shoulder.