I really and truly wish it was raining outside. I’m only happy when it rains? No. Well… yeah, a little, but that’s a whole other story. But, no, it’s fucking gorgeous outside. I look out the window and there’s some golden perfect sunshine shining and bathing everything in sweet illumination and a cool late summer breeze moving the leaves around. Fuck me, there’s probably even birds singing out there.
I’m looking out the window on this perfect and tranquil scene from work. I’m looking out that window and I’m thinking to myself, “Fuck me, that’s practically fucking picnic weather out there.” Of course, I’d never say that out loud because I’m way too manly for that kind of thing. But I could say it’s perfect weather for a hike or something ridiculous like that.
No, instead of frolicking on the breeze or whatever the hell else happy people do on happy summer days, I’m pondering what the hell is John McCain thinking? (Don’t worry, Colonel Tigh, winning isn’t everything.) Also, because we’re living in a material world and I am a material boy, I’m pondering, Sarah Palin: Hot or not?
Tough call. She’s got the Tina Fey thing happening, but really… She’s no Tina Fey. Nor a Liz Lemon. She’s probably not even as fun as a Lemon Party. Lemon Party! Lemon Partay!
Never you mind that Lemon parties always – always! – pale in comparison to a good Rainbow Party. Back me up on that, Benjie.
(Also, I have to wonder if Sarah Palin is her daughter’s baby mama? Baby Mama! Maybe it’s not a question of WTF McCain was thinking, but what was Sarah Palin fucking thinking? The Governor of Alaska appears to be the farthest fucking thing there is from being a feminist.)
Anyways, to celebrate (if you could call it that) wasting away indoors on such a lovely weekend, I thought I’d leave you with some links (eventually) and…
The BEST (so far) of the “favorites” of the Counterforce Youtube channel!
Just for those of you stuck indoors on a beautiful weekend, or a shitty looking weekend too, I guess, but have a decent internet connection. (Also, I have to fully admit that I pretty much totally comandeered the Counterforce youtube channel, but with suggestions and comments from my fellow Counterforcers, this post will probably be amended.)
Let’s start it with the first video favorited: Road House!
This is your brain… on drugs!
This is how we do it!
Juno and George Michael. And Jack Black. And Sean Connery. And Nic Cage. And Sean Connery again.
Remember when Siskel (was still alive) and Ebert kind of hated each other? (from here.)
The greatest opening to a TV show ever. And the greatest fight scene of all time. Also, the most mullet-ed thinking man’s action hero of all time.
It’s insane this guy’s taint!
If I can call you Betty, then you can call me Al.
Excuse me, princess!
Unbeatable Banzuke! (And sadly, I couldn’t find too many decent clips online of Viking challenge.)
R. Kelly (and Usher) versus Broken Social Scene.
(from here.)
And for Peanut: Fucking Tucker Max. And Check out my new haircut.
Music videos that reference films I like: “The Universal” and “To The End.” “Tell Me Where It Hurts.” And “Stuck On You.”
And a little Junior Boys/Godard mashup.
Say hello to your future. Say hello to the Obamatopia.
I don’t wanna Rock DJ!
Sexual Intercourse: American Style!
“My balls are connected to a satellite. If I put a condom on, it’ll muffle the signal.” And the cutest, spunkiest (no, no, not in that way, but I like where your head is at) condom commerical ever.
Television intertexuality and meta-reflexivity.
Nobody does it better!
The LonelyHill88.
Kat Dennings (who looks like an evil version of Hillary Duff.)
Tell me what I have to do to behave!
Sasha Grey and snakes.
A movie I want to see. And some WTF trailers: Max Payne. The Ramen Girl. Babylon AD. And this ridiculous piece of shit.
And Machine Girl and In The Land Of Women, too.
And some excellent movies as well: My Dinner With Andre. Nashville (Hey, I’m Easy). Kicking And Screaming. Elevator To The Gallows. The Passenger. Blow-Up. Barcelona. Annie Hall. And The Mirror.
Drunk History! Chemical Party! Blowjob Party!
(from here.)
Sadly, I spent one day at work watching this entire interview online with Richard “The Iceman” Kuklinski. He’s no Metal Fang, but still, that’s some creepy shit.
This is what I think most british people sound like. This is what the brits probably think most Americans are like. And one of my favorite British shows is finally coming across the water.
And I’ve decided that through mostly watching clips of it on Youtube, that Extras might possibly be brilliant. If you don’t believe me, just ask: David Bowie, Ben Stiller, Patrick Stewart, Kate Winslet, Harry Potter, and Clive Owen. Or Ricky Gervais himself.
The absolutely greatest worst music video ever. It’s practically an assault on your nervous system.
The comments on this video of DMX cursing out a Miami judge litereally broke my heart over the state of race relations in America. But they also pretty much prove Godwin’s Law completely.
“Opposites Attract” and Scarface and “Maps.”
Ethanol Muffin. And “Merry Chipmunks.”
You can’t executive produce an executive producer.
“Someone Great” and “The Overly Dramatic Truth.”
I like the way you work it. I’m about to bag it up.
“Tongue” and “Jealousy, turning saints into the sea” and “Knockin’ the boots.”
Political unrest stabilizes society, yea.
“Like a pirate in the night, I will challenge your pussy to a fight!”
Black Books and Dylan Moran.
“Flux” and “Love Is Noise” Expect me to review these band’s latest albums soon-ish.
In the event that you find certain sequences or ideas confusing, please bear in mind that this is your fault, not ours.
If you got a problem with that, you can say it to my muthafuckin’ face or hit me up on the muthafuckin’ myspace.
The planet is in danger!
And it ends with Kate Bush (who, I have to say, I love more and more since I realized that she’s really just Carly Simon on quaaludes) and “Wuthering Heights.” If you don’t love this, then, as Pitchfork says, your heart is made of ice. And Kate Bush is ice skating on your soulless melancholy. With Big Boi. (Avoid the red dress version, if you can.)
Oops, wrong Palin. But he’s probably just as qualified to be McCain’s running mate. That said, here’s some miscellaneous mad linkage before I leave you to whatever your weekend consists of:
Maureen Dowd on Sarah Palin.
The RNC is preceded by massive warrantless raids on peace protestors. Fucking shocking. Gustav might have something to say about all that.
This is my prediction for what the RNC will actually look like.
Japanese researchers eyeing e-skin for robots. Hmm. Uncanny valley, anyone?
Maybe the bro’s can start their own decade plus late summer sausage fest of a concert tour a la Lilith Fair and just call it COCK!
Fox Attacks: Decency!
What is your Obama tax cut?
Six things the Palin pick says about McCain. (#1 is: He’s desperate. No shit.)
In fact, here’s my quick impression of Colonel Tigh’s, er, I mean, McCain‘s (Or, McCrazyballs!) prospects:
Two shows that I’ve delved into the past few weeks are Gossip Girl and Mad Men, both in furious attempts to fully absorb the first seasons on DVD before the new seasons started. I’ve enjoyed the symmetry of the “girl” and “men” titles in the shows and all, but in my goal, I failed miserably with Mad Men (the new season started weeks ago and without me, though I record the episodes so I can watch them), but not because of it’s quality. In fact, it is the very definition of brilliant television, unfolding like a novel (almost a Joseph Heller one, at that) slowly and excellently. And Don Draper is The Man.
Gossip Girl‘s new season starts tomorrow actually and there’s a good chance that I will be all caught up and ready for it when it comes. This show is hardly perfect, and it does border on the signifigantly ridiculous, but so do I sometimes. Also, I like trash. But my bar was set pretty for trash intake with the brilliant Skins and sadly, Gossip Girl won’t ever reach (even with it’s cartoon villain of a male vamp). But nonetheless, it is a fun east coast remix of The OC and the woman are all physically perfect and the lead male character plays out almost exactly Seth Cohen. If he were a man. And not Jewish, I guess.
Well, that’s enough out of me. Go out and get a tan or whatever it is you do when it comes to “fun in the sun.” I’ll be right here doing… this. So, until next time: Regulate.
Edited to include: When I finally got off work and finally got home, it started fucking raining. FTW!
I don’t want to blow your mind, marco, but that city-wrecking hurricane in the gulf may have something to do with the rain. What you saw at work today was the calm before the…
Actually, that was more of yesterday’s. Today’s was a combo of incredibly sunny and warm for an hour or two, and then raining and cold for an hour, then the pattern repeated itself. Gustav has troubles making up his mind, it would appear.
Palin’s daughter, Bristol (what a stupid fucking name), is pregnant (again? Most likely, though the numbers don’t quite work out for that).
Some out there discount this story altogether, and if it’s not true, then it’s really just all of us looking to harp on something and quite possibly a tad sexist, but if it is true… Wow. Along with all the ethics situations and the massive inexperience… Way to go, McCrazyBalls!
It’d be wrong of me to not include the new Diddy vlog: “John McCain is buggin’ the fuck out.”
ALASKA. ALASKA. ALASKA.