So poor me Joe isn’t feeling too eager to spout his bullshit any longer. This is what happens when you lie like hell and falsify your own victimization to a Presidential Candidate. Joe the plumber is actually:
Fail
- Not independent
- Registered Republican
- Planted by the local GOP
- Possibly related to Charles Keating (!)
- Not a plumber
- A tax cheat
- Not making anywhere near $250,000 a year.
- Set to save more on taxes under Obama than McCain
- A moron, and kind of a bitch
I mean, even if you were who you claimed to be, then buck up you fucking whiner. You’re making a quarter-million a year? Good for you, you’re in the top 1% of the country. So you have to pay $30 more per $1000 earned OVER $250,000 under ‘Bama’s tax plan? Well shit, somebody grab me a violin, so I can play it just for you and your incredible burden.
Joe’s scenario about not being able to buy a business because of Obama’s tax plan was total bullshit. So naturally McCain and the right wind are slobbering all over his cock. And then we find out that Joe’s a total fraud, and the GOP look like idiots. Like they always do.
It's always Friday inside Guy Fieri
I decided to follow Peanut’s lead and take myself out on a date last night to one of the local suburban eateries. You could say Benjamin Light lives in one of those areas, much like a doughy, calorie-rich donut, that surrounds an urban city. It was Friday, so I chose TGI Friday’s. Parking was a nightmare. After sitting at the bar and ordering a beer and a steak, which I’ve read is what pro-Americans eat, I put on my headphones and listened to my iPod nano, staring at other patrons until they made eye contact.
The crowd was maybe not quite Sarah Palin’s pro-America. I mean, there were a fair amount of minorities there. The music blasting in my ears lent the meal a certain frenetic immediacy that almost made it feel like I was in a real bar. Pro-Americans took pictures of each other at tables. My plate slid around on the bar while I tried to saw through the petite sirloin with my knife.
There was this batshit republican chick (member of congress to boot) on Hardball the other day calling for a new House Un-American Activities Committee. A day later, her democratic opponent, who had previously raised like a few Gs for his campaign, found his war chest half a million dollars richer. Nice to see that even in an economic crisis, American’s can scrounge around for 500 grand just to stick it to one self-righteous cunt.
It's just a matter of time.
On the television at the bar, they were playing the 2002 Niners-Giants playoff game on the NFL network. The one where NY blows like an 85-point lead. Back when Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens were still dating. Them were the days. Some asshat changed the channel to preseason basketball before the game even got to the good part. A guy sat down nearby, latest fashions, bulky jacket, big fake gold watch and a blinged-out phone. Ordered a girly margarita. I don’t understand masculinity in 2008.
I’ll need to find a better bar for the 4th. Probably have to venture into the city. Not The City, but someplace a little less “American.” Not to get cocky and jinx things, but November 4th + alcohol + progressive women = I mean, come on. It’s like when Bill was in Office. Everybody got paid, everybody got laid.
I finished my meal and left a reasonable tip. The steak was just so-so, but the beer was good. Went back to my soulless condo complex to read some political erotica. For a second I thought I heard somebody fucking in a nearby unit and that actual human beings lived here, but it was just a hungry cat.
i just realized i’m spending election day at my freaking parent’s house. otherwise, i’d invite you to my den of inequity except for the part where every single attractive girl i know has a boyfriend.
those margaritas at tgi friday’s are KILLER – do not doubt that dude’s manliness. personally, i also enjoy the gigantor long island iced tea.
I like that you stared at them until they made eye contact. That’s pro-America, fuck yeah, right there. Right now this country needs a major dose of that everybody gets paid, everybody gets laid action big time.
Your evening sounded kinda bleak. The next time you’re feeling like a glutton for punishment, you should grab dinner at Guy Fieri’s restaurant somewhere around Arden. Guaranteed to annhiliate your bowels, it’s called Tex Wasabi, a texas bbq/japanese fusion restaurant. I went to the one in Santa Rosa last week. Disgustingly prepared concoctions such as sushi with bbq meat and french fries and tough bbq beef brisket with wasabi blue cheese are featured on the menu. Brotastic dudes with sweatbands on their forearms staff the joint.
Lollipop: but what about the unattractive ones? The City really is probably the place to be on election night. I just drove through my local Urban burg and it was a total sausage-fest full of road rage and backed-up traffic from people trying to parallel park.
Erotikus: eh, I’ll pass. I never could get into sushi and eating a steak is hard enough as it is.
i actually don’t know any ugly people. huh. i had to think about that one. yeah, i sooo wish i could be home for election day, but i’m going to be in new jersey instead.
@erotikus, that wasabi joint sounds like a motherfucking trainwreck. we don’t get that kind of shit in the city.
I don’t recall getting paid or laid while he was in office. I feel so… cheated.
Speaking of people in office, I saw that movie W last night. Fuck me. If Oliver Stone was just going to poke fun at Bush the whole time, he should have thought of a more elaborate, cheaper way to go about it. I guess this is what people with money do.
The more I think about it (and look around, sadly) it seems like Joe Six Pack is an accurate title for a good cross section of America (probably residing somewhere in those “Pro-America” zones), but I’d really like to start the phrase “Joe Ipod” too. And add that Joe Ipod is the mortal enemy of Joe Six Pack.
when will they ever take interest in Peanut the Stay in Bed Mom?