The War on Christmas is going swimmingly. Can we start the War on Thanksgiving now? I fucking hate this holiday. I would rather go to the dentist than have to go around the table saying what I’m thankful for Oh, wait, I just did and my teeth fucking hurt, so Benjamin Light’s a little cranky today. Traditional Thanksgiving Turkey dinner is balls, the football games always suck and sometimes you’re forced to interact with unfortunate relatives or that one person who’s a friend of your mom’s who such a loser they don’t have anyone to celebrate the holiday with, so they have to funk up your dinner.

meh.

Also, dear Crazy Obamites: fuck yourselves. It was nice during the general election when you were mostly drowned out by the rest of The Party and we could ignore your naive bullshit, but now that we won, these crazy fucks have decided it’s time to re-fight the primaries. Oh noes! Hillary Clinton as SoS?! It’s a plot! A conspiracy! Hillary is ineligible under the enoulments clause! The DLC Cabal is forcing this on our hero! Obama’s big tent isn’t big enough for the Clinton Circus!

Meanwhile, over in the real world, where Hillary Clinton’s positions are nearly identical with Obama’s, the only concern with making her Secretary of State is in diluting the Senate too much. In other words…

Interlude: dude, I just heard Lieutenant Cedric Daniels doing voice work for a Cadillac ad.

also.

Late contender for Headline of the Year

Just because…

…meh.