The Smoke Monster from Lost totally deserves it’s own show, am I right?
I feel like I might have to start something called the Reboot Report here or something. In this week’s entry: They’re rebooting Highlander. I never saw the movies, well, except for the one with the two of them, but shit. Seriously, guys? Highlander? I mean, who gives a shit? Remember back in the 90s, back in the glory days of syndicated sci fi ridiculousness, and this show as ALWAYS FUCKING ON. If it was on at 10 PM on channel A, then it was on at 11 PM on channel B. And channel C? No worries, they were airing it at midnight.
I wonder who they’ll get to play Sean Connery’s character. I mean, I’m sure it’ll be someone who sucks, but still, I’m curious. Weren’t they aliens in the original movie, rather than just immortal Scottish sheepfuckers? Well, if Connery’s character was a mentor type, I’m sure they can get Liam Neeson to play it. If he’s not busy doing Taken 2, in which he hunts down the manufacturers of that chairlift and makes them pay.
I remember a few years ago reading something where Joss had been asked why he wasn’t directing X-Men 3 after Bryan Singer left (at the time, Joss was writing a truly amazing run of X-Men comics) and Joss, ever the taker of the high road, said something like, “You know, I really searched my feelings, searched my heart on the matter, and I realized… They never asked me to.”
I’m just like Jerry here, I totally hated that Michael on Melrose Place back in the day. Somehow he kept getting these amazing women, and then he’d try to kill him (which is kind of a really huge jerk move when it comes to break ups) and they’d still take him back. Sigh. Heather Locklear was ehhh, and of course, everyone remembers Marcia Cross’ gross scar reveal. But my favorite character was always Laura Leighton’s Sydney.
I’m not going to lie and say it was because of any depth of character or anything, it was mostly just because she was hot. Anyway, she’s in the Melrose Place restart (a la 90210) and she dies in the first few minutes. She’s the big murder mystery that will run through the first season. Pause for a moment to think about how shocking it is that there will be a first season to a redo of Melrose Place. Have we completely burnt out on 80s nostalgia that we’re shitmining the 90s for their magic and wonder?
Other nerdy TV news: Freddie Prinze Jr. is joining 24 (wha huh?), Famke Jansen’s transsexual character is coming back to Nip/Tuck, Claire is rejoining Lost for it’s long rumored zombie last season, Tom Swift has daddy issues, somehow they won’t fucking cancel Scrubs, no Gossip Girl spinoff set in the 80s, and maybe, just maybe, Summer Glau will show up on Dollhouse. Also, a query: Who the fuck actually watches Burn Notice?
Of big dorky relevance to me this past week was news about the opening title sequence to next proper season of Doctor Who, dropping on our heads somewhere in 2010. Here’s the title sequence to the first season of the restarted Doctor Who a few years back with Christopher Eccleston…
Simple, classic. I wasn’t a geek who had stuck with this show for 40 years so I have no problem with that opening at all. In fact, the nice thing about it, along with a show like The Venture Bros is that they keep the opening teaser very short, very tight, and then end it on a sharp note and then boom you right into the hard, driving title sequence (the theme was redone to be even more booming and driving in the last season with David Tennant). But, that’s that. The dorktastic news I was mentioning is that when the show changes Doctors and creative hands next season, they want to go for more of a nostalgia kick and work in the large, floaty superimposed head of the Doctor (in this case, the very scary looking Matt Smith as the next regeneration) somewhere in the credits. This kind of nostalgia, like I said, means nothing to me, and as an example of why this is bad, I give you the credits sequence of the last Doctor, Sylvester McCoy, who had it:
And he winks at you! That just makes it so much more cheesy and stupid. Ha ha! Ah, but if I could steal your attention away for a moment for cheesy but great TV show openings…
Fuck yeah MacGyver. Although the Magnum P.I. one is pretty great too. And if you don’t believe me, I will fight you to the death. Hawaii 5-0 is probably the greatest TV credits sequence ever, but I would live happily with a Magnum P.I. theme ring tone:
…starring Sasha Grey. This works as a reboot, I think. I can’t wait for the sequel when they work the whales in.
The thing about Ian McKellen is that there’s always just a certain strength and class in just about everything he does. That said, I’m going to say ehhh not so much to this teaser for The Prisoner remake miniseries (up above there), cause there’s nothing here really to be for or against, but just that it was made at all. Ugh.
The Prisoner is probably one of my favorite shows of all time. Discovering this show back in junior high did something horribly wonderful to the way my brain worked and I’ve been grateful ever since. McGoohan actually died back in January, and the remake miniseries looks… not promising. Somehow the planned movie remake hasn’t been canceled yet, so who knows what’s going to happen. It may be a bit of a fiasco, which has Caviezel as it’s No. 6. That sounds… scary. And boring in a kind of unrivaled way.
But here you can catch a little behind the scenes teaser for the new miniseries.
AND the one thing that AMC did right here is that they put all the original episodes of the original show online free to view. That’s fucking brilliant. And until next time…