I’m thinking of starting a new feature here on Counterforce. It will be called “Haha! You’re Dead!” and consist of making mean jokes about the recently deceased. Here, I’ll start:
Looks like Country Strong is still no match for a gun! lulz!ROFLcopter!
Fun fact: Steve McNair had a career quarterback rating of 82.8.
But please, a moment of silence for Molly Ringwald.
Apple Jacks
I would like to take Paul McCartney in the deadpool. I’ve been saying for years that Ringo would outlast ‘em all. Plus, Paul’s always seemed like the biggest douche of the band. As long as we’re on this subject, I have to tell Marco’s favorite Beatles joke.
Q: What were John Lennon’s last words?
A: That’s not a real fucking gun!
So I’ve returned to the grid. Near as I can tell, the only interesting thing that happened in my absence was… … yeah. Still, there’s this feeling that I missed some tidbit that got lost in the news cycle. 3 years from now, someone’s gonna tell me that Martin Sheen is dead and I’ll be all “when the fuck did that happen? Oh, right.”
Time to give poor Kat a little love
Seriously, how the fuck is Ted Kennedy still alive?
I googled it so you won’t have to.
Movies I want to see that aren’t playing in my city yet: The Hurt Locker, 500 Days of Summer
Marco hates Zooey, I have no opinion
I’d like to give Party Down the official CounterForce seal of approval.
Counterforce-approved
Are we having fun yet?
i just checked, and yes, we are. why does marco not like zooey? is it because she put out a cd because she was dating Mr Death Cab? will anyone see 500 days of summer? and molly ringwald is dead?
fine, don’t answer. as it turns out, she is still alive. and, according to wikipedia, four years older then i am? jesus christ.
Marco has his own mysterious reasons for not liking Zooey, you should be waiting for his answer, not mine. I will go see 500 days of Summer.
Molly Ringwald is THAT OLD!?!?!?
No fucking way. She’s gotta be like 14 years older than you. She was kissing Jake Ryan before you knew how to roller skate.
But she just had two kids, so like I said, a moment of silence, please.
A future with Jake Ryan would’ve looked like this:
A) After a few years, you realized that he’s just holding you back. His career at the car wash, where he’s been asst. manager for 9 years was cute and ironic for a while, but now it’s creepy. Meanwhile, you’re getting hit on by guys with real tans, the good kind of fake porcelain teeth, and enough money to properly afford a mistress. Time to upgrade. Or, more likely:
B) He’s gay. Sorry.
Marco doesn’t hate Zooey Deschanel. Great name, cute girl, but mediocre actress. Seriously, did you ever see The Happening? Or anything she’s ever done. I was amazed at the CGI involved to make that mannequin move and then I realized it was an actress actress! Good on you, Ben Gibbard, because you’ve got a lovely fiance and let’s face it, you’re a schlubby dude with diary lyrics that are a little too sensitive for you to get a real date. Downside is, and I’ll be the person who finally admits it, She & Him is kind of lame. Why do you let her stay there?
That said, I will absolutely go see 500 Days Of Summer. Good, strong trailer, which reminded me of how much I enjoyed the Garden State trailer (and I got burned on that interest, hard), and I like that it’s “not a love story, but a story about love.” Also, Joseph Gordon-Levitt? May just be the secret talent of our generation. Except for being in GI Joe. But he’s probably just doing that to pay rent for a few months.