The worst month of the year.

I hate the month of March. I consider it to be the worst, most miserable month of the year. My reasoning:

The weather is March is typically cold, wet and shitty. It’s not wintery, Christmas-y cold. It’s “when the hell is spring going to arrive?” cold.

February is short and full of holidays, which makes March feel interminable. In school, you get like three 4-day weeks in February, and none in March.

Football season is over, and baseball hasn’t begun yet, making college basketball the headlining sporting event of the month, and college basketball sucks beyond belief.

With Oscar season over, films in March are typically forgettable fare as the studios unload tweener movies as they gear up for the summer movie season. Any “big” movies that come out in March are movies that the studios know are crap, and will bomb in the summer (i.e. Sucker Punch).

On the television side, February is sweeps, and March is full of re-runs.

The only holiday in March is St. Patricks Day, which is one of the lamest holidays of the year. The upside of encouraged binge drinking is tempered by having to tolerate Irish People. Nobody should get excited about eating corned beef and cabbage.

The Lindbergh baby was kidnapped in March. The Boston Massacre was in March. The Alamo fell in March. My Lai was in March. The disastrous second Iraq war started in March. The Exxon Valdez ran aground in March. Three-Mile Island happened in March. The worst accident in the history of civil aviation happened in March. Caesar was killed in March.

Did I mention how fucking long the month feels?