Well, I guess the Rapture didn’t happen, huh? Not today, I guess. I mean, I’m still here. You’re reading this, so I guess you’re still here too, huh? The sad thing about “The Rapture” is that, well, besides it being a fictional event in a set of fables in a funny book of short stories about wizards and demons and old world customs, is that… well, I just don’t know anyone who would be going up in this fantastical sounding Rapture thing. It’s just for the good, right? Well, all the people I know are bad, bad people… And I guess I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Oh well, a shame. But I suppose the Internet will quickly find something else for itself to get excited about, right? But there’s still us and there’s tomorrow and a little more juice to be squeezed out of whatever could be “the future” and there’s whatever could possibly come with that…
Here’s 10 other recent predictions for the End Times that didn’t come true either.
German insurance firm held orgy to reward salesmen.
Learn how to tie your shoes right.
Quite possibly our first look at Tom Hardy as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises.
Kirk Cameron vs. Stephen Hawking.
Ricky Gervais on The Office‘s finale.
If you do go up in the Rapture, don’t worry, the atheists will take care of your pets… for a price.
An excerpt from Chris Adrian’s new novel.
“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
-Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
by Beth Hoeckel, from here.
What really goes on in Area 51?
A volcano in Iceland called Grímsvötn has erupted.
Twitter shit about the Rapture from yesterday.
Inside the Robert Redford biography.
Stephen Fry joins The Hobbit.
New discovery about mosquitoes reveals why vampires will never exist.
Speaking of which, Joe Jackson is still a bloodsucking piece of shit.
“The future is already here… It’s just not even distributed.”
David Lynch to release an album later this year.
The visual impact of gossip.
The story of Alejandro Jodorowsky’s doomed/failed/totally fucking crazy would be adaptation of Dune to become a documentary. Here’s Dan O’Bannon talking about it a little.
Related: the team up between Salvador Dali and Walt Disney.
Just checking: Still no Rapture, right? Whew.
NBC cancels Outsourced. Good.
The trailer for the new film by Miranda July.
Carrie is being remade and Stephen King suggests Lindsay Lohan for the lead.
This trailer/movie looks really terrible: Horrible Bosses.
This trailer looks so so, but the movie will probably suck: Another Earth.
It’s Pilot Season! Trailers for (just a few of the) new TV shows that were just picked up:
Awake. Which… looks good, looks interesting, but I just don’t see a TV show that I would follow/watch for years and years there. Funny how both it and Another Earth‘s trailer use that song by the Cinematic Orchestra.
Alcatraz. The latest from the J.J. Abrams camp… The 4400 meets Prison Break, featuring Sam Neill and Hurley from Lost. This looks ridiculous, and I’ll watch it and just hope that it’s not another letdown like Fringe.
Person Of Interest. Another from J. J. Abrams, although it seems like it’s mostly just his name on it and the real creative juice is from Jonathan Nolan, writer of The Dark Knight and brother of Christopher. Looks interesting-ish, but Jim Caviezel? Was that really necessary?
A trailer for the documentary on the showrunners of all your favorite TV shows.
And a nice guide to the shows that didn’t make it to the Fall 2011 season.
“The future cannot be predicted, but futures can be invented.”
I had a dream a while back that the world was ending… It was an odd dream, but not a terrible one, I guess. It’s just not something you can prepare for, the end of the world. You can’t ever really be ready for it. You just gotta keep on living, don’t you? And loving and listening to music and dancing and pursuing impossible things and enjoying mundane moments and people and doing all kinds of stupid shit. Take things seriously but maybe enjoy the ridiculous things that surround you just a little bit more? I don’t want to tell you something terribly cliched, like… Live every moment like it’s your last!
No, don’t do that. You’ll probably hurt yourself trying to do that.
But maybe every once in a while, take a single moment and consider that it is your last moment on this beautiful, insane planet, and just really ponder that. And think about what you would do if it wasn’t. Beam yourself into the future and peek in on yourself and see what you’re up to. Take a vacation into the future and see who you are there. Interview yourself and find out what went right and wrong in your life in the moments/weeks/months/years between now and then, and take good notes. And when you come back to the present, remember that little trip. Remember that time you went to the future and appreciate that you’re back here, and now, and then go there again.
The anniversary of Bikini Atoll is coming up.
Chinese “dinosaur city” reshapes understanding of prehistoric era.
Brittany Julious is sexy.
The kind of guys who stay single?
The Cat Rapture for Caturday!
Neil Gaiman on Gene Wolf.
Grant Morrison to write a movie about dinosaurs vs. aliens, Barry Sonnenfield to direct.
RIP “Macho Man.”
The fashion of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Fleetwood Mac to reunite in time for the end of the world.
The never before seen original ending to Alexander Payne’s Election, which is much closer to the book’s ending.
I don’t think I’m all that crazy about these Odd Future guys.
Skeeter Davis and Henry Moore.
Tom Cruise is a lonely robot repairman.
How to survive a mass extinction.
Plot details from the upcoming Tim Burton/Johnny Depp big screen version of Dark Shadows.
Will the internet destroy academic freedom?
A history of bedwetting.
Bionic hands! The future is now!
A good prank for the Rapture.
Oh well, hopefully this one was good practice for the next time the world (supposedly) ends. Still plenty of time to get your Rapture Playlist just fucking perfect. No sleep til 2012!