Save the cheerleader, save the show??

Let me sum up the finale to Heroes in one sentence:

WHAT THE FUCK?

Seriously. This entire fucking season was just a constant letdown. One of the main things that keeps me watching this show is Zachary Quinto. How cool of a fucking character is Sylar? Rhetorical question. But even his character the entire season had mommy and daddy issues which permitted him from being the total badass he is. Now as I know, all of you are nodding your heads in agreement as you think this show is a ridiculous waste of time. While I still enjoy the plot line, the writers definitely need to come up with a more enticing way to end, or even run, a series.

How can I incorporate one of the characters smelling like straight up mayonnaise?

How can I incorporate one of the characters smelling like straight up mayonnaise?

Basically, the last episode consisted of a battle between Sylar, Nathan, and Peter. Nathan, flying man is virtually useless in this fight.

This is the kind of thing that marrying a Dixie Chick leads you to.

This is the kind of thing that marrying a Dixie Chick leads you to.

Sylar, being the pseudo badass he is, kills the motherfucker. Sweet. Finally we get some real action. It’s then just Peter and Sylar, which isn’t really a fight at all. Basically Sylar bounces only to later get conned into meeting the president. Peter, disguised as a black president, injects him with what I’m assuming is something to pass out. Although, plot hole, he shouldn’t pass out because he’s got the same powers the cheerleader has and shouldn’t be left incapacitated, but of course, he does. Whatever.

I cant die, but you can knock me out.

I can't die, but you can knock me out.

In one of the biggest fucking bitch moves, the writers make Matt Parkman, with the ability to read people’s minds and make them think whatever he wants, convinces Sylar, who is unconscious, that he is Nathan Petrelli. What does this do? Besides completely believing he is Nathan, who is now dead, he shape shifts, which he can do, into Nathan. Why? To convince the world, and the cheerleader, that he is still alive. WTF?

The only glimpse of hope lies in the remaining minute where Nathan, Sylar, notices one of the clocks in his office running too fast. Sylar, formerly Gabriel Grey, was a watchmaker before he was a psycho killer.

I was pretty disappointed with this ending, but what can I do? I’m a professed fan of this sometimes faltering show. Will I watch the show next season? Of course. Will I be happy about it? Probably not.

Were afraid so.

We're afraid so.

Chuck me.

Hey, what are you watching?

"Hey, what are you watching?"

Season finales. I love them. They’re the show’s last chance before the network decides whether or not they’re going to ax it. In the case of Chuck, that’s exactly what they were going for. Their last hurrah of sorts. While I only started watching this show just recently, it’s become apparent for nerds, like me, to watch it. It tells a gripping tale of the protagonist, Chuck, who had an intersect downloaded into his head. Basically, it’s just a computer containing all the government’s secrets. Two spies are sent to keep a constant eye on him. One is a tough guy named Casey who is sent to work with him. The other is a sultry princess with looks that are beyond any actual person named Sarah.

I would do dirty, dirty things to/for this woman. Like her laundry!

I would do dirty, dirty things to this woman.

Chuck and Sarah stage a fictional relationship for this to seem normal. Aside from all the danger and chaos they get into, it has got its sappy moments as well. One of the best things about this show is that it has the same producer as the O.C. (Which you all secretly love, except you Benjamin. We all know you love it.), so the music is guaranteed to be awesome. At least until the third season when Marissa dies.

Whooops.

Whooops. Did I spoil this?

So the second season starts to wrap up with Chuck finding out more about his sometimes non-existent father. It turns out that it’s his father, who he hardly knew, that built the intersect. And, something that pleased Chuck very much, his father that got the intersect out of his head. Chuck never really saw himself as a spy, mainly because he has a body type that resembles mine. And it’s not like I’m a moonlight spy. Or am I???? No, I’m actually not. The last episode consists of Chuck’s sister finally getting married. It was a huge thing for their dad to be there, so it was Chuck who brought them together. Behind the scenes, there was another intersect being created throughout the series. An even better one. It was supposed to get implanted in the head of Chuck’s pseudo best friend who sent him the intersect in the first place. With an awesome cameo by Chevy Chase.

Not actually that awesome.

Not actually that awesome.

Crazier things start to happen. Chevy wants the intersect for some reason, the CIA wants Chuck’s friend to have it, it gets a little weird, but I’m totally into it. Basically, the wedding gets ruined by these two idiots.

Youve got a drunk and an indian lesbian.

You've got a drunk and an indian lesbian.

But Chevy is actually to blame as they had to stall for Chuck. I’d like to tell you the end, but the last 5 minutes are really the pivotal part of the series. The reason why NBC shouldn’t ax this fucking awesomely monumental show. I guess you’ll just have to watch it yourself. But seriously, is this isn’t reason enough to watch it?

Every nerd herds fantasy

Every nerd herd's fantasy

Next up, Heroes!

Crystal Light

After much heated debate, here it is. An entire fucking post on crystal light.

It's what's for dinner.

It's what's for dinner.

Introduced to me slightly over a year ago, I was hesitant. Putting different colored powder into your water? Why would you possibly want to taint it? Then it happened. After awaking from a deep sleep sweaty and thirsty, I grab for the first bottle in the room. It could have been beer, I would have just sipped it and fallen back asleep. But this something else. As I the sweet, sweet liquid hit my lips I noticed a hint of raspberry. And then heaven. I kept drinking. Not long after, the bottle was gone. And then I fell back asleep. The next morning I had wondered what this unusual red crust around my lips were. Then it hit me. Crystal light. I searched endlessly and found the culprit hiding in my pantry. So lonely and desolate, it hadn’t been touched in days. I drank more. And more.  I found myself drinking more crystal light then water everyday. Then another discovery was to be made, there are different flavors!

That's not kool-aid he's drinking.

That's not kool-aid she's drinking.

Raspberry Ice was my first and foremost favorite. But I found others. Cherry Pomegranate, Fruit Punch, Lemonade, Raspberry Lemonade, Grape, White grape. The list goes on. The flavors are nearly limitless. And they’re good for you! Most packets of crystal light contain only a few calories. So instead of drinking water, just thrown one of these into that 20 ounce bottle you’re drinking from all the time. You won’t regret it.

She is not crystal light. Not even close.

She is not crystal light. Not even close.

Jennifer Aniston, regrettably for her, is not crystal light. I’ve always maintained the fact that Jennifer Aniston is boring. There is nothing exotic or extraordinary about her. She has a cute face and a decent body. Unless she plans on stripping nude in a movie anytime soon so I can catch a glimpse of said goods, then maybe my opinion would change. But to me, she’s just Sarah plain and tall.

Also, not crystal light

Also, not crystal light

I hope this changes minds, lives. Crystal light has become a sensation for me. I no longer find myself dreading to drink a bottle of water, because I can always just spice it up with a nice packet, or if you’re smart and decided to buy an actual container, of crystal light. With so many different flavors to choose from, why choose just one?

Cootie Catcher

Adopted by school kids alike, I remember cootie catchers making a swift appearance in my life around 3rd grade or so. They were a bold attempt to ward off boredom and “predict the future.” Just in case you lived in a fucking cave until about 10 years ago and have no idea what the hell a cootie catcher is, let me explain. It’s basically an origami shaped paper folded a shit load of times to display: numbers, colors, answers to life’s problems, or who you were never going to date. Invented by cruel children to raise kid’s dreams, it succeeded accordingly. 

 

Mine never looked like this

Mine never looked like this

Although never perfecting the art of making one, I tried vigorously to master this. After all, where were you in school without your cootie catcher? 

 

Me. Circa... 1996?

Me. Circa... 1996?

I can only imagine what you’re thinking. Where did this absurd topic come from? Well, I have to give some credit to my friend Peanut here. As of spring I decided to give 3rd grade school another chance. I was told to give a speech that taught everyone how to do something. I decided to teach everyone how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. 

 

It wasn't peanut butter jelly time.

It wasn't peanut butter jelly time.

Denied. What a bitch. Sorry, I got off track. I asked my good friend Peanut on what to teach everyone. Her first answer? Cootie catcher. Golden. I’ve been studying incessantly on how to make one, since never really learning before. As of Friday, in front of the entire class, I get to show off my impressive, or lack of, skills on how to concoct this monstrosity of an assignment. I am praying that my somewhat consistent memory kicks in. After all, I’ve got to be more than a haven of useless movie trivia and oscar nominations. I guess that kind of goes hand in hand. 

 

Let's see which one I'll be on Friday.

Let's see which one I'll be on Friday.

Here’s to learning what every 10 year old girl wanted to know when I was 10.

Picking up the pieces

Hello friends, and most friends alike. The recent best of lists have just been great. But no list is complete with one’s own subjectivity, which is why I’ve decided to add on. I have no quarrels about any of those picks. In fact, I liked them so much I wanted to make my own.  These picks have been something I’ve listened to endlessly since the start of the year and feel would make other’s lives richer if they did the same. And this is where we shall begin.

Ladytron – Velocifero

One can only beg for an album like this. Ladytron’s previous work strived to be more electronic, and whilst this doesn’t fall far from the tree, they’ve managed to insert cute and catchy pop riffs into songs such as Ghost and Runaway. I fear for what their next work might be because of such a success like this. And by success, I mean something I couldn’t stop listening to for months. Incidentally, I saw them live before the cd even dropped in stores, so most of the songs on their set list where rather new. Their raw energy can not be matched on disc and such a fantastic light show can and most definitely will be compared with Pink Floyd. Yeah. I said it.

Tokyo Police Club – Elephant Shell

I wonder how old these guys can be. Their music, I’m sure, isn’t meant to appeal to someone of my age and stature, but it most definitely does. They sound like something 14 and 15 year old girls long to have in their life, but have not met one person who has appreciated their work as much as I have. When learning of their full length album coming out, I put their EP”s on repeat to get myself psyched. A lesson in crime and Smith have been worthy, but this trumps them both. As an added bonus you even get an extra disc full of a few remixed tracks when you purchase this cd. I’m sure few did though. I feel they are probably misunderstood on which direction to take their music. I mean, they must certainly want fans other than guys like me, right?

Sia – Some People Have Real Problems

I remember first learning about Sia. It was a cold, dark knight. Yeah, I spelled it. I was listening to a certain show my favorite radio station does for people like me who stay up past midnight. And one of her songs just popped right on it. I was thrust into spiraling emotions when hearing the sheer depth of her words. I was then put on a quest to find her music. Her cd had not yet been released in the U.S. Fuck, I though. It was ok, I got it eventually.  And then this came out. Her follow up to Colour the small one. I prefer the previous, but this just struck me in such a way I can’t explain. With tracks like Academia and Lentil, I just longed to listen to more. I even went so far as to buy her live album that came out between her last album and this one. Anything I could hear by this woman, I wanted. I missed a rare opportunity to see her live by waiting too long to purchase tickets. Apparently, I’m not her only fan as the single show I’ve ever seen her play in my region of the globe, was sold out. She is one of the few artists I would probably travel out of my town to see. And that’s saying a lot.

My Brightest Diamond – A Thousand Shark’s Teeth

One of my biggest obsessions is trying to remember how I found out about an artist. I discovered this wonderful little band in The Rolling Stone of all fucking places. They interviewed Colin Meloy of the Decemberists about something. This was a time when I would kill for new music, and once did, but that’s a different story. He mentioned My Brightest Diamond. He said it was a band he was listening to at the moment. Being really into the Decemberists at the time, I had no other option than to take poor Colin’s advice. And take it I did. I went through many hoops to obtain her first cd, which can still make a grown man cry. Whether that man is me, I can not say, but she has such a voice one can only dream about listening to. The kind of voice that makes you want to tell others about. Like I am now. When I gained covert information about a non-remixed follow up to her first cd Bring me the workhorse was coming out, I went ape shit. After months of waiting, this was the result. I always find it amazing when an artist touches my emotions perfectly with that one special song. On her previous album it was Gone away. On this fantastic record it was To pluto’s moon. I had the distinct pleasure of seeing her play this live. Even more impressive was the intro to the song. She used those things you wave around as a kid that makes those “whoosh, whoosh, whoosh” noises. They’re about a foot long, almost any color of your choice, ridges on the side. How amazing to use a childhood object to portray such a sadness that only an adult can feel. The only downside was her incredibly short set. Maybe 10, 11 songs. But no matter. Being able to catch her was a gift itself.

Health – Disco

Not too much to say about this band, because they don’t have much to say themselves. I find it hard to like a band with very few words in their music. Granted, they are a noise band, but I still feel that’s a little strange. What’s nice about this album is that this is most of their hits remixed by more vocal, lesser known bands/dj’s. Sadly, I prefer this cd to their only other one, Health. It’s probably a band’s worst nightmare to sound better remixed than their original recordings. But what can I say? They are a noise band after all. The remixes just add so much more… noise!

Hercules and Love Affair – Hercules and Love Affair

Probably the most baffling thing about the previous music blogs was not seeing this in there. With Crystal Castles and Cut Copy alike, Hercules and Love Affair takes such a bold move with their music by infusing it with little bits of disco and dance. I hate to categorize the music I listen to as dance, or disco for that matter, but this was a very danceable record. With hits such as Blind and Hercules Theme, one can’t help but get that tingly feeling in their leg. Which feeling is that? Well, it might be the feeling of an erection hitting your leg, which, for obvious reasons, I hope isn’t happening. Why, you ask? Well, the singer on a few tracks is Antony Hegarty from Antony and the Johnsons. Yes, that’s a man. Yes, that’s a very, very gay man. But, the tingly sensation I would hope you’d be getting is that of rhythm. A common feeling, yes, but one usually invoked when the music is good and the bitches are hot. While I know not of any hot bitches, it may be the good music. I can’t help but listening to this cd over and over. It’s a nice, fresh take on disco, which is such a worn out concept. Hopefully this band can sustain without the vocals of flamboyant male singers.

Lightspeed Champion – Falling Off The Lavender Bridge

Lightspeed champion isn’t anything new or original, but a very relaxing wave of rock. I don’t really know how else to categorize him. Recorded by Saddle Creek producer Mike Mogis. Saddle Creek, as we all know, also put out other great artists such as Bright Eyes, which Mike is a part of, The Faint, and Art in Manila. I imagine this was a very big change for singer Devonte Hynes, formerly of the english punk band the Test Icicles. He only played guitar for them. What made him branch and record his own album? Who knows? But I’m not complaining. I had this in my car for at least a month. I can’t tell you what it is about him that I just got addicted to, but I yearn for more.

Honorable mentions – Spoon, Morrissey, Atmosphere, She Wants Revenge, Vampire Weekend, and The Duke Spirit.

I <3 Sarah Palin

Woe is me, Sarah. The things you do to my heart.

Watching the debate was absolutely atrocious. Your hideous attempt at dodging every bullet thrown at you was pathetic. Joe Biden was like the shot heard round the world. And you were the target. You poor, hopeless, incompetent soul.

You’re going to stop greed and corruption on Wall Street? Can you even tell me where that is? That’s a long way from Alaska. Are you going to stop all the assault and battery in New York next? Why not take on world hunger while you’re at it? There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about. But seriously, your faltering endeavor at convincing the American public that you’re ready to be second in command is discreditable.

It’s ok, you being number 2 in the entire country won’t be so bad. You’ve raised a great family. Behind every great woman there is a great man?