The 13th.

Wait, is it - gasp! - the 13th?

It’s not that I’m an idiot (although, in the spirit of full disclosure, I sometimes am), it’s that I’m sometimes clueless. Or, forgetful. Or, mentally misplaced. You see, there’s a lot of shit floating around in my cranium. Some numbers, some interesting data, some bullshit ephemera about what episode of what season in what obscure TV show a character walked down the wrong hallway to go to the bathroom, tons of music, a few memorized beautiful things I’ve seen in my days, some horrors I’ve always memorized, and a collection of all the breasts I’ve come across and been mesmerized. Yeah, there’s a pun there. A bad one, at that.

This morning, I woke up and smiled that kind of smile that only happens on a day off. I got up, stretched, did the various things I do when I wake up alone, the scratching of places and releasing of certain human fluids, then went to the internet and began absorbing facts. A typical day. There’s “significant amounts” of water on the mother fucking moon!

Houston, we have enough water here to go skinny dipping!from here.

And I was reading some stuff about the anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, which I knew I was a few days late to, but it’s still fascinating, right?

Fuck this wall, yo

I even put on some music as I did this. Made myself a little playlist in my music player and put it on random/shuffle, and you know what song came on several times? My favorite song by the Cure, that’s what. This one:

That’s “The 13th,” and I just adore it. Not the video so much, but the song, definitely.

TGIF!

There was a commercial on TV for a Friday The 13th marathon. And I thought, “Huh, that’s interesting.” Thought about 2012, the batshit crazy stupid but fun looking Roland Emmerich movie that came on today that I’ll probably see tomorrow with Conrad Noir, who tells me he’s not all that interested because he was let down by The Day After Tomorrow. Well, no shit you were let down by The Day After Tomorrow, right? Anyway, that’s most likely on tomorrow’s agenda.

This guy is going to save the world from environmental catastrophe? Bullshit.

Long story short, it took me until like noon or later to actually fucking realize that it was Friday the 13th. I probably shouldn’t be bragging about that.

Silly superstitions will fuck you up, man.It happened at some local coffee shop that I went to, and, well, it was embarassing, but interesting. I live in a small town, the kind where it’s hard to not get to know everyone and their quaint little stories. And all the Southern gothic ghost stories that goes along with it. So I do my best to avoid people as best I can, but today I felt like getting out of the domecile for a bit and going for a run and experimenting with various Pandora stations on my smart brilliant phone.

Pandora, you bring me closer to God. And I want to fuck you like an animal.

The search for the perfect Pandora station is man’s constant crawl towards enlightenment, nirvana, and the fingerbanging of God. The pleasure is in the quest, not the capturing because the goal is unreachable, but we still try. That’s the beauty of the humans, or something. Regardless, I’ve been bouncing back and forth, trying to find a good station while running/walking, and I took a chance on an 80s station.

Not bad, but you know what? As great as they can be, Duran Duran and Frankie Goes To Hollywood and “The Safety Dance” just felt a little too gay for this job. I needed something less festive, so I figured I’d shift a decade forward and did a search for an appropriate 90s station. Came up mostly zero, no joke, except for a fascinating station that played 80s music stars trying to make a comeback in the 90s:

Okay, that’s the lovely Bryan Adams song from the Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves soundtrack, which is fantastic all on it’s own (except when it’s used for a Dawson’s Creek fanvid, sorry), but in actuality, the first song that came on that station was Adams’ “Run To You,” which isn’t bad. And following that was some Tom Petty, which is always good in my book, and some Bon Jovi, which is atrocious (though old Bon Jobi works appropiately in some bar settings, I’m loathe to admit), and a whole fucking lot of Guns N’ Roses. It was weird, but I guess it did the trick, workout-wise.

Then I got to the coffee shop, got something to eat, something to drink, and meant to hide myself in the corner with some headphones and devour my meal and some more internet on my phone. Also with me were some printouts of various things I needed to revise and a copy of Warren Ellis’ new POD book, Shivering Sands, which had just come in the mail today. I feel like I’ve read most of it previously (it’s a collection of various writings of his from the internet of the past few years), but still, I was excited.

How creepy is this picture, right?

But as it sometimes can be when interesting people are in the vicinity, and frightfully true when there’s less than interesting people buzzing around you, I got sucked into some conversation. Found out it was 13th day of the month coinciding with the fact that it was also a Friday. Also absorbed some recent gossip. And, because of the recent anniversary, got involved with a conversation about the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War.

Sledgehammer.

You see, the conversation got even more interesting when it turned out that one of the women there was German, a former resident of East Berlin, who had been 18 when the wall came down, and moved to America shortly after. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with Germans in the past (and no, I’m not referring to World War II, though that was no picnic either, ha ha!), but every once in a while, I have a good experience with their women. :)

The woman and I talked for some time about the Berlin Wall, and primarily what it was like for her growing up in East Berlin. Essentially, it was bleak, but fascinating. And we had one of those conversations that always pop where she mentions that she was feeling uneasy today because she had left her cell phone at home and she just feels like she’s naked and out of touch, but growing up poor in Germany, they didn’t even have a phone in their house til she was 16. “How did we live in that ancient, strange world?” she asked with a laugh.

The Lives Of Others

She had just seen The Lives Of Others a few weeks ago, she told me, and we talked about the movie, which is really quite good if you haven’t seen it yet, and about the Stasi in general. She told me that the movie scares her because back then, when she was growing up, you just always knew you were being watched, being monitored. You always suspected who was a Stasi man, but you never really knew for sure. And it didn’t hit you until later that it wasn’t so much agents of the Stasi you had to worry about, but those around you because everyone was informing on each other to get ahead.

Relations between Germany and America got a little weird after this.Could’ve been worse. He could’ve thrown up in her lap.

From there we went into little aspects of German history, talking about “The Iron Chancellor” and how the Prussians united the country a hundred years before the Wall fell, and we even talked a little about Merkel, or “Angie,” as she called her, and told me what a fan she is, being that they’re both East German girls. She told me how it was so weird for her to come to America in her twenties and get a more full view of her own little world up til then and to compare it to growing up in communist Germany, where history was repainted with a propaganda slant. She mentioned that as a teen they were never allowed to refer to the Wall as just “the Wall,” it was always as the “tool for anti-fascist defense” or something like that.

The children.

She told me how when she was in school, it was a mandatory field trip for the kids to be taken to the concentration camps and shown all the gross details, the rooms with human remains permanently staining the walls, with the empty shoes of little babies that were turned to dust, the lampshades made out of flayed skin featuring Jewish tattoos. She told me how the physical evidence of the darkest corners of history would never leave her mind and part of her was glad that she was forced to see that shameful part of her country’s past, but that it’s something she knows kids don’t go to see anymore.

The bodies.

I don’t want to use the word “fascinating” again in this post, but that’s what it was. A fascinating conversation, and a fantastic one, informative and insightful. I thanked her for her time and being so patient with my curiousity, and of course for letting me know that it was actually Friday the 13th. Then I left, since I had been there for quite some time and it was starting to look like it might rain. I wasn’t interesting in listening to sad old men with hair plugs crooning bar anthems into my ear, so I just walked in silence, my head heavy with thoughts about everything we discussed.

Come over!Komm rüber!” Hans Conrad Schumann defects, from here.

It did start raining before I got back to my front door, of course, but my mind was elsewhere and I didn’t actually realize it until I was pulling my key out to let myself back in and realized I was shivering there as the water dripped off of me.

Watching and listening.

And how did you spend your Friday the 13th?

REDRUM.

Puberty sucks hard.

I’m in a mood tonight to watch The Shining. Well, tonight or tomorrow sometime. I’m a scary movie mood, I guess. Something festive. Something seasonal. And I’m open to suggestions. Conrad Noir suggested The Exorcist which, no joke, I’ve never seen. Occam Razor suggested The Wicker Man remake with Nic Cage which, unfortuanetly, I have seen. And Benjamin Light made a joke about some new movie about a reanimated zombie pop star called This Is It.

All work and no play puts Marco Sparks in a mellow Halloween mood. The Shining, it is. Martin Scorsese agrees with me. Trick or treat, you sons of bitches.

This is roughly my mood as of this moment.

The City On The Edge Of Forever.

Phoenix is the sweatiest city in America.

Stranger In Moscow.”

Sydney and the light rail.

Augmented reality in London.

The ghost in the field, and RFID chips.

What will happen when London is flooded?

Berlin” in Paris.

Interracial couple denied marriage license in Louisiana.

Soft robots and DARPA.

Moscow’s mayor promises a winter without snow.

Paris Syndrome and Jerusalem Syndrome.

San Francisco and the 1906 earthquake.

Rebuilding New Orleans.

from here.

City Of Blinding Lights.”

A possible glimpse at our future space cities.

America’s most expensive cities and most impoverished cities.

FOX promises to air all 13 of the already ordered Dollhouse season two episodes.

Speaking of which, Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard’s The Cabin In The Woods being held back a year to be switched over to 3D.

Magnetricity” observed for the first time.

A map of your future mega-cities and megaopolises.

“When the lights go down in the city…”

Sensing the immaterial-material city.

Cities underground and cities tsunami-resistant.

City Of Shadows.

The ruins of Chernobyl, over 20 years later.

Cities In Dust.”

GTA IV: Inherent Vice City.

Silver City” and “Sad, Sad City.”

Why all cities are haunted.

The mind of a city (and how our brains are similar).

The cityscapes of François Schuiten.

Chronic City by Jonathan Lethem.

The city is a battlesuit for surviving the future.

Phantom City: See the city that could’ve been.

“…when we reach the city.”

“I have come to wound the autumnal city.”

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”

“I’ll take the coral reefs as my metaphor. Though hardly so beautiful. If the essence of life is information carried in DNA, then society and civilization are just colossal memory systems and a metropolis like this one, simply a sprawling external memory….”

-a quote from Ghost In The Shell 2: Innocence, a movie that I was watching the other day and just first stirred the pot on several thoughts I had locked up. Thoughts about human beings and boxes we live in.

Warren Ellis had created a comic book character years ago called Jack Hawksmoor, the “king of cities.” Jack was a normal human who had been abducted by city-empathic aliens from the future and repeatedly operated on and “upgraded” to have city-specific powers for use with fighting some unknown future threat that was coming.

Jack Hawksmoor, the King Of Cities.

Hawksmoor, who’s name was inspired by both Spring Heeled Jack and Nicholas Hawksmoor, couldn’t survive for very long outside of an urban environment, but when he was in any city, he had powers specific to that city, including things like superhuman strength and agility, but also psychometry and the ability to control and alter architecture and infrastructure. I don’t think the character was ever utlized by successive writers to his full potential, but I do remember in one story where Hawksmoor had to fight a powerful villain, he made sure that the fight took place in Mexico City, the larged city in the world, to maximize his abilities.

Quarantined in utopia.

“There’s no one to know. There’s nothing to do. The city’s been down since you’ve been gone.”

Climate change and warfare.

Black And White Town.”

Scientists create “sexual tsunami.”

12 sexist vintage ads.

What’s left of the Roman city of Dougga.

Futurism vs. Science Fiction.

Futuristic steampunk urban recycling.

The little town that Los Angeles killed.

Speaking of which: Future Los Angeles.

Future Chicago.

Future New York.

The saddest blow job story ever.

History Of A Boring Town.”

Russell Brand not capable of monogamy.

10 most amazing ghost towns, including Prypiat.

Everything In It’s Right Place.”

Scientists develop “brain to brain communication.”

As time progresses, the future will literally devour the past: WW2-era statue with added cell tower.

Last Stop: This Town.”

The time is now.

 

from here.

I woke up this morning and turned on the news. Old white men were screaming “FOR WHAT!?” and it took two minutes before I found out what they were so upset about: Barack Obama won a Nobel prize for Peace. Such an antiquated notion, but he won it for talking, for getting people excited, getting them hopeful, and, yes, because the rest of the world hated GWB that fucking much. On top of it, Jim and Pam got married on The Office, there’s a sequel to Phantom Of The Opera, NASA is bombing the moon (which I believe we talked about before, yes?), You can get strawberried M&Ms, and Marge Simpson is appearing on the cover of Playboy.

You’re wide awake, the time is now, and we’re all living in the future. Up next: Liquid hard drives, jetpacks, giving extraterrestrials reality shows about breaking into the music industry, and death rays!

Hell is a teenage girl.

Some actors were born to play certain roles in their career. I could go into timeless examples – Olivier and Hamlet? Maybe, I don’t know – but it’s all foreplay for me to say flat out: Jennifer’s Body is Megan Fox. Megan Fox, this is your movie.

A short career, so far, of being the half an Angelina Jolie clone, the girl with the bizarre comments on red carpets and disses on the hand that feeds her in interviews, the plastic surgery, it’s all lead to her seeking to be two things: Hot and weird. Megan Fox, Jennifer’s Body is when you jump on that goal with a sleek sort of power.

The plot, as simply as I can muster it: Megan Fox is the titular Jennifer, the alpha high school girl in a small town in the middle of nowhere called Devil’s Kettle, and Amanda Seyfried is her “plain jane” best buddy, Anita “Needy” Lesnicki. They’re an odd match, but have been friends since their were little kids playing with barbies in a sandbox in a flashback that gets repeated a few times, so you know they’re in it for life. This leads, of course, to the hot one being insecure and playing on and feeding off of the insecure one, undermining her constantly, a relationship that only gets weirder after…

They go to a rock show at local bar where an indie band “from the city” is playing, wanting to “reach out to all their fans, even the ones in the shitty places,” and an accident happens. Fire! The club is a massacre, Great White-style, which then leads to the band sneaking off with Jennifer, who survives, in their group rape van to perform an occult ritual. It’s hard being an indie band, they realize, and you really need Satan if you want to make it. So, thinking that Jennifer is one of those all show and no play kind of virgins, they offer her up to the dark forces, all the while a cappella-ing “867-5309/Jenny.”

Needy is sure that the worst has happened to her best friend, but Jennifer shows up at her house later, covered in blood and throwing up demonic fluid. While not being a virgin – not even a back door virgin anymore – something went wrong and she’s been turned into a avaricious demon (I’m fighting using the word “rapacious” that I’ve noticed in every other review), her sexuality overpowering, and she now hungers for the flesh and guts of all the young men that desire her. Then, through a series of so so moments of horror as the demon girl hunts and eats her young male prey, the movie turns into a sort of revenge flick as the sidekick gets her payback.

That’s the plot, and the first thing it should tell you is something that I felt when walking out of the theater: It was like I had taken a time machine back to 1986 to sample one of their tasty treats of throw away horror-comedy cinema.

That, and the Diablo Cody-ness is just dripping off the screenplay to this thing. Cody is a smart writer, and while the movie definitely thinks it’s smarter than it is, with metaphors and allusions and promises of empowerment and message never quite fulfilling their potential, it never scrapes at the lofty goal it feels like it’s heading for. And dialogue-wise, it feels like a sequel to Juno, with some lines a perfect dissection (or perhaps celebration?) at how ridiculous teen lingo of any day can be, some lines being useless (“Move on Dot Org!”), and some almost so cringe-worthy that they’re hilarious (“It smells like Thai food in here. Have you two been fucking?”), but lacking a majority of actors that could handle the material with the ease of Ellen Page, etc.

It’s kind of funny, that in my catching up of True Blood recently, I vividly remembered the scene where Sookie tells Bill that she can understand the new turned vampire Jessica as well as he can because a lot of the thoughts and feelings a vampire feels when newly turned are exactly like those of a teenage girl. That line was playing vividly throughout my head during my viewing of this film. I thought about it as I silently asked myself if this movie is about the “monstrosity” that is a teenage girl’s sexuality, overpowering as it it is both metaphorically and onscreen here, and I thought about it everytime Jennifer and Needy used their pet names for each other: Monistat and Vagisil.

But I also thought of the half remembered mission statement that I saw in an interview with Diablo Cody weeks ago, that she wanted to make a movie that the young feminists and the horny teenage gore-loving boys would go see together. In that regard, that movie is a total success. And if you’re in the mood for just some horror fun, especially one where the girls get to have some fun for once, then you’ll be just fine.

And in a it is what it is sort of way, the casting of this movie is absolutely perfect.

Like I said earlier, this is the movie Megan Fox was born to play, though I would certainly highlight that she’s better at the “weird” aspect of who she is rather than the hot, but still, she perfectly captures the sometimes vapid, sometimes frighteningly insightful and observant nature of any teenager, but especially a teenage girl. Even before she turns demonic, you can tell that her Jennifer knows her way around her corner of the world perfectly, especially when she tells Seyfried that their breasts are smart bombs, “just aim these things and shit gets real.” She knows how to get what she wants, especially considering what other people want, but she doesn’t know her own worth yet. In this regard, the title of this film could not be more perfect.

Amanda Seyfried, on the other hand, is both perfect as her nerdy, bookish best friend, who just looks surprisingly normal to me, rather than the typical adjectives that mean “geek.” Especially when standing next to Fox, I don’t know how you can look anything but normal. But she’s also refreshing and fantastic in this film, getting to enjoy both “good girl” and “bad girl” states, a mesmerizing make out scene with Fox, and a truly horrific instance of first time sex with her boyfriend that, if anything, sums up this film’s combination of the horrific and the naively arousing better than any of the scenes with the demonic Jennifer.

But that said, there’s a fascinating interplay between the two girls during the more rosy days of their friendship, and a playful attraction that pops up between them at times that just feels natural and not gimmicky or as cliche as it would elsewhere.

I mostly remember Seyfried from Mean Girls, of course, and people tell me she was great in Veronica Mars. She’s the real star of Jennifer’s Body and I look forward to and expect her to continue to be great in a lot of things to come.

And then there’s the biggest shock of this entire movie: Adam Brody. That’s right, Seth Cohen.

Seriously, nevermind the fact that Gossip Girl was developed as a series by the same guy who created The OC, how is Adam Brody not getting royalities from that show as well?

I don’t even want to talk about Adam Brody here because I’m still having Vietnam flashbacks to In The Land Of Women, which I think Benjamin Light will agree with me on: Everyone should subject themselves to that film.

In Jennifer’s Body, Brody plays the diabolical lead singer of the indie band Low Shoulder who comes to the small town to play a show with an insidious goal in mind: finding a virgin to sacrifice to Satan. Brody explains to the soon to be dead Jennifer at one point that it’s hard out there for an indie band, that you can’t always get  yourself on some shitty movie soundtrack, and that really only leaves the Devil to turn to if you want any lasting success. Nevermind that the band’s involvement in the roadhouse fire tragedy leads to some great jokes about the music industry and the way we grieve as a commercial society (annoying benefit singles where 3% of the profit will go to families affected by the tragedy), but Brody is perfect in this film. He’s got that bizarre look of an asshole indie rock singer charisma down, something that makes you question why teenage girls are attracted to a lot of these guys in the first place (maybe it’s the manscara?). There’s something almost Brandon Flowers-esque happening here.

But more importantly, Brody’s the only actor in the piece that both seems to handle Cody’s dialogue with ease and almost devours it with a gleeful intensity. Watching his character, I couldn’t help but think that, post-The OC, there was really only two ways that Seth Cohen could go: 1) total suck and mediocrity, which is more likely than anything else, or 2) embracing evil and having a little fun, much as he does here. And as smarmy and villainous as he is, you almost want to see him succeed to live and be smarmy another day. Or, to at least, have gotten a death scene worthy of what a prick he is.

Speaking of the music, I half love the soundtrack to this film and half could give a shit about some of the sonic bullshit that I heard. Like every teenage movie, there was a new song playing, er, blaring on the soundtrack every 45 seconds. Half of it was good, some weird, and some of it is what I assume the kids are listening to these days. Sigh. The poor kids these days. They’re clueless. But towards the end, Hole’s “Violet” starts playing and it felt like the movie really reached a certain apotheosis that it desperately needed to. What better stab at the rage and frustration of a young woman is there than this band at that stage in their career? Neither graceful nor honed, it felt like a perfect addition to this hot mess. Or maybe I really am just that big of a 90s nut and “They get what they want, but they never want it again” somehow reminds me of the trials and tribulations of the girls I went to high school with? Of course, there’s also the fact that “Violet” is off of Hole’s Live Through This, which contains the song, “Jennifer’s Body,” that the movie gets it’s title from.

In conclusion, three things I just want to throw out there: Firstly, this would make a great high school date movie. Without a doubt.

Secondly, I don’t understand women or teenage girls anymore now than I did before seeing this movie, or even when I was a teenager myself. And that’s probably how it should be.

And thirdly, the devil should start a rock label. I bet he’d sign some really killer bands.

Post Blog.

A writer lives to see his words in print, they told us when we were young.

Then we hear that print is dead. Newspapers are dying. Books are supposed to follow along shortly after, and things like the Kindle – while still seeming like gateway technology – are threatened to be the future.

Many would make the argument that the book will never die. The tactile sensation alone will keep it alive for us. The feel, the smell, the taste, the creation of memory from all of those senses… I’m not going to argue that because the idea of holding an actual book in my hands will always be me, and what I do, but…

I’d rather do a bit of bargaining in this season of death: If I were to fully embrace electronic reading – a kindle, or a handheld whatever the fuck that comes down the line  – then here’s what I want: A jet pack, a hover car, and a holodeck. In short, the future. Give me that and I’ll laze about reading my shit on a datapad, all Star Trek-esque.

The blog is the new thing, the thing that’s sticking around, they tell us.

But bloggers are universally looked down upon, by myself included. A couple of jackasses with too much money and too many stupid opinions – worst episode evar! – and given too much exposure by the unwashed retard masses. Crowdsourcing gone wild, those unwashed retard masses weaponized and turned upon the very public that created them.

Simple example: Perez Hilton.

And yet, not all bloggers are bad. The ones that transcend their simple or maybe not so simple beginnings and become the real deal. Some can write extremely well, or, even better, some think extremely well, and in the best possible way: Critically. When the going gets weird, as Hunter Thompson said, the weird turn pro. The best blogs to me aren’t the ones talking about “Why can’t my ex see that I’m a person here dammit and take me back and love me and dump the other guy because I want to cut his head off and do some weird Conan shit there and win her over and conquer an army for her love” or whatever, but become a real website, a real thing.

Hyperlinked hyperreality.

Clearly, this is just me rambling. These thoughts are just half formed. Ask me about any of this tomorrow and I may have a different take on it altogether. I contain multitudes.

Also, put simply: I don’t know what the future of journalism is. I don’t want know the future of the internet, of online writing, or the way that human beings connect and rub up against each other, be in online or in the real world, is. And I’m not qualified enough to even venture a guess.

But every once in a while I’m smart/dumb/brave/cowardly enough to not let that stop me.

Every day it seems that I’m reading about more and more blogs that are getting gifted with book deals, dropping onto them like manna from Heaven. Print is dead and we’re turning blogs into books. A small sampling:

Stuff White People Like.

Stuff Black People Hate, I think?

This Is Why You’re Fat.

BLDGBLOG.

FML.

Look At This Fucking Hipster will soon be a book. (A shame, since I’d like to have seen Look At This Hipster Fucking beat it to print, but oh well.

Garfield Minus Garfield.

Texts From Last Night.

Postcards From Yo Momma.

Twitter Wit.

Fancy Fast Food.

Even Boner Party have been threatening to shit out a book version of themselves, which is scary, especially when denying claims of sexism and objectification.

GIF Party. I’m just joking about that, a joke that several others have made before me, but dammit, I believe in you, GIF Party! But I’d also love to see Fan Secrets, Fantasy Art, and Text Messes get more recognition too, if you sense a common theme there.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, these blogs bursting out of their electronic cocoons into the real world. That’s not what I’m trying to say. Some of these are really interesting and funny and nice distracting blogs. They’ll make cute little books and lovely gifts for friends and house warmings for people you work with. And some of them will be just plain good and interesting and I’m rooting for them.

But, let’s not forget that we live and breathe in a world where a nine year old boy wrote a book on relationships and Lauren Conrad has a three book deal. The saddest part? People are going to buy the shit out of both of those properties. Also don’t forget that Pitchfork even has a book out there and as much as we all like/don’t like (at times), they’re essentially just a blog.

I respect the people who write for free. “The real people?” Maybe. But there’s plenty of people out there who are real and paid to be as awesome as they are. And they probably deserve more money, definitely. But that’s why I respect the people who do their song and dance online for free, for the pure thrill and craft of it. But maybe they’re not weird enough, and haven’t turned pro enough. Maybe their moment in the spotlight is right around the corner. Maybe they can afford to do it while they live off an advance on a book deal.

I mean, hell, give Counterforce a book deal and we will bend over backwards to give you the sexiest, weirdest, most amazing little trinket of a book you’ve ever seen. All the blogs listed above have a very specific and hardened niche and so do we: being awesome. The book would be so good you’d have an orgasm from it. You’d lose weight reading it, food will taste better after it comes into your life, and the next day, I don’t want to spoil too much, but you’ll probably get a raise at your job.

But that’s just a given, right? Not speaking for the rest of my cohorts here, but would I like to go on to a different kind of success based on Counterforce? Fuck yeah. Offer me a job. I’m yours. I’m a wreck with a keyboard, but hey, I’m cheap and easy.

A dorky interlude: In my perfect fantasy world, a Counterforce book would be much like the Primer from Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age.

Of course, we don’t have the weird niche that some of those above listed blogs/books have. Or do we?

But this blog – to me, at least – started from a slightly more pure beginning. I think originally we were against something. Something undefined out there in the world, especially in the world wild web. We saw something, Benjamin Light and myself, and we were against it. Maybe it was a way of thinking, a way the world works, I don’t know, and I really don’t because obviously I’m just talking out my gorgeous ass here. But we saw something and we thought, Hey, we could do that, but more than that, we thought, Perhaps we could do that better.

I think originally we were counter to something, and slowly, very slowly, I’ve started to feel that I’m for something. Maybe not the same old thing, or perhaps a new way at looking at the same old thing. Internal or external, I don’t know. I’m very proud of this blog, some times more so than others, and I love where it’s been, I kinda like where it is, and I’m very excited about wherever it goes.

Which is really my way of saying that I’m happy to be doing this fucking thing with the people I do it with. I just hope they’ve been having a little bit of fun along the way. And I especially say this as I spy that the one year anniversary of this beast is approaching. It seems just like yesterday and it seems like it’s been years.

If you have any worries about print dying, then Dave Eggers would personally like to tell you to “buck up!”

Turn your blog into a printable zine or book!

Also, it’s NaNoWriMo month, or National Blog Posting Month. Wow, a whole month!

Anyway. Enough of this semi pomo blog post. I don’t know what’s modern anymore, let alone postmodern, let alone postpostmodern. And I especially don’t know what’s postblog.

It’s no coincidence that they already scheduled the end of the world for 2012.

You know what I’m talking about.

2012 has already been designated the Alan Turing  year, commemorating the birth of the mathmetician and code breaker. That, and unless it’s extended (which of course it will be), the debut album by the beatles, Please Please Me, will fall out of copyright.

And the Mayan calendar runs out and timewave zero and the novelty theory winds down and possibly the world ends, or maybe it’s just the world as we know it and we all flow into the supercontext?

Or, there’s just this:

Put simply, fuck The Transformers and Michael Bay’s gee-wilikers-I-wish-I-were-Steven-Spielberg-except-I-have-no-soul-and-no-heart’s leanings. You want pure, stupid ridiculously glorious cinema popcorn inanity on a giant scale? Roland Emmerich. Pure and simple. I don’t think anyone saw his last film, but this is the latest trailer for the newest one, 2012.

from here.

It’s like he took every single one of his films and squished them into one and then blew them up for the sake of mankind everywhere. It is filthy with overkill, but hey, the end of the world does not come gently in the night! Danny Glover apparently takes over for Obama for President (I’m sure the conservatives see a deeper meaning in there)(Never mind the moment when the USS JFK comes home to the White House with ironic destructive flair) and John Cusack and Chiwetel Ejiofor look like they’re drowning in tsunamis and fireballs, but who cares. You have to suffer for your art and to put the asses in those $10 movie theater seats. And this film appears to be a technological singularity all of it’s own.

Regardless, it looks like an interesting grab for that last little bit of the immanentizing the eschaton zeitgeist, especially now that we’ve drained zombies (replaced by the metaphoric sexual curiousities of vampires) of any frightening subtext and turned them in comedy. Comedy starring Woody Harrelson, too. And Woody Harrelson is in 2012 as well, playing Cassandra. Is the star of White Men Can’t Jump the savior of the apocalypse?

Personally, I was rooting for Wesley Snipes, but then the IRS had to take him out. Sigh.

Personally, a small part of me is still hoping for the supercontext to sweep us all up into it…

Standing on the shoulders of giant metal robots.

from here.

Screwing around today on the internet, I happened to peek at this link over at This Recording for something called “Statue to end all statues,” or something like that. And still having four toed statues of mysterious Egyptian gods on the brain, I, of course, clicked on it.

What it ended up being is this:

What will be a giant statue of about 18 meters in height and weighing around 35 tons when it’s assembled in honor of 30 years of Mobile Suit Gundam, one of Japan’s most popular and longest lasting anime series. It’s going up in Odaiba, Tokyo and when it’s completed, it’ll be able to move it’s head around and shoot beams of light out of 50 different points on it’s body. Much like myself on a good day.

Now, I’m into some nerdy shit, but anime and giant mecha is one of the things I’ve managed not to get hooked on. I feel like that’s a pretty good thing still since I wouldn’t know what to do with that much tentacle rape. I mean, I’ve seen some anime that I’ve really enjoyed (that was sans tentacle rape). Cowboy Bebop, of course, and Witch Hunter Robin also, and shit like Paranoia Agent

…which is just a fun, brilliant show about identity and, of course, paranoia. And from Satoshi Kon, the creator of Perfect Blue and Paprika. And also Serial Experiments Lain, which I’ve watched an episode or two of and, well, I get where they’re going and I’m sure it’ll be great if I continue the journey, but I’ll hold off on a bit, you know? And then there’s always Neon Genesis Evangelion

…which makes for great wikipedia reading with everything they’re going for and the multi-textured look at things, especially the various meanings of it’s ending (“You disgust me” or “You make me sick” or whatever), but after watching the first two episodes, I was left wondering when all the higher level of interesting discourse and cool shit start? Maybe I’m being too critical though. If anyone can harness the power of giant robots to fight metaphysical monsters from heaven then it’s certainly Japanese school kids with problems and obsessions with giant breasts. At least they worked in great big monsters and giant robots, right?

from here.

But the idea of a giant statue honoring a robot creature seems scary to my American sensibilities. Or maybe it’s my underlying fear of the impending robotcalypse? Perhaps. I guess I would foolishly compare it to the Christian nutbags here who would be terrified if we started making giant statues of things out the Book of Revelation or had public officials whose political handle was “The Beast.” Shouldn’t you Japanese people be terrified of giant robots? Probably not since they would be the front line defense against the constantly attacking radioactive lizard monsters, right?

Unless those two combine forces. Then we’re just fucked. Game over, man.

Everything that rises must converge

So now then.

jackface

i don’t really have much to say at the moment. I still despise 95% of our culture, but at least we have Lost.

Not so much:

swine

It’s really a shame that newspapers are dying, because blogging can’t fill that gap in real journalism, and having to rely on the AP, well…

AP

…We’ll always have Yahoo! Front Page. Thanks to them, I know it’s a bad thing for a girl to call Benjamin “pal” in a flirtext.

flirsexting

I’m too lazy to link to anything today. Fuck it, it’s Friday. Do you have any idea how badly I want to kill you?

ENDCAT

Addendum: Benjamin Light has consumed significant amounts of generic vodka. I was attending a screening of Star Trek last week with Occam Razor when, pre lens-flare-o-rama, the theater aired the trailer for the Night at the Museum sequel. At then end of this travesty of  cinema, a girl behind and to the left of us declared: “I have to see it! I HAVE to see it! I HAVE TO SEE IT!”

… I don’t even know what to say to that. Judging by the demograph of the crowd, I can only assume she was sincere in her desire to view said movie. Is there a less significant film in the history of cinema? I don’t know. But it cements my feeling that Television (or, at least serialized narratives) is the future of motion pictures, and not film. Take one peak at the trailer to The Road and it becomes painfully clear that some stories should not be made into movies.

For instance, I would love to see certain scenes from Cryptonomicon realized on a big screen, especially the Bobby Shaftoe stuff, but you can take a step back and admit that, yes, some narratives were intended to be digested as books, not movies. And where movies fail to deliver the nuance of a novel, perhaps a serialized narrative in the format of a television show can succeed. I feel, lately, that too many properties are being converted into movies, despite the fact that the structure is incompatible: see The Watchmen. Somehow the motion picture has established itself as the high point of media saturation, so we get subpar “adaptations” of The Golden Compass and the like.

Note to hollywood: if you want to make a movie, make a movie, but not all stories should be adapted so. Most people love books not for the plot, but for the personality of the narrator, and the intimate connection between reader and storyteller. In short, if Hollywood can’t duplicate that in Script Form a la Fight Club, then it’s probably not worth the money to make a film of it. In other words: hire better screenwriters or make better tv shows. Not every property can be condensed into a 105-minute feature.

I have no doubt in my mind that the Night at the Museum sequel will make shitloads of money. I don’t fully understand it, but I know better that to vote against it. Although I’d love to see bits of The Baroque Cycle on the big screen, if only to expose the material to a wider audience, there’s a kind of comfort in the knowledge that only the truly committed will appreciate the nuances of literature.