Category Archives: People who have faces that look like Halloween masks

Experience points.

Posted by Marco Sparks on

Benjie Light mentioned this to me the other day and so I had to find it… I’m not much of a gamer (at least not of more modern games, sadly), but I guess towards the end of the new Call Of Duty game (“Black Ops”), you can unlock a very special mini game that has this as an intro…

JFK, Nixon, Castro, and Robert McNamara (voiced by Robert Picardo) taking on a swarm of zombies? Brilliant.

That’s a movie that’s just dying to happen. Especially in today’s zombie-loving mash up craving nerdy society. But it’d be the kind of thing that you’d have to strike on quickly because as weird as people’s slightly more mainstream interest in zombies is of late, it’s still a passing fancy, much like vampires were to teenagers most recently (and one has to presume that bubble is finally starting to pop).

from here.

And if you’re going to do something with zombies, you might as well have some fucking fun and not take that shit too seriously because… well, how could you? That said, here’s what you missed from this past week of cable TV’s hot new show, The Walking Dead:

from here.

But still, in an age of Pride And Prejudice And Zombies and Robocalypse and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, we like combining our nerdy interests for a bigger and more vibrantly ridiculous bite, even if it’s something that won’t necessarily have a long lasting (after) life.

Samhain.

Posted by Marco Sparks on

Another year, another Halloween.

The inevitable is upon us: the year is almost over.

You find yourself out somewhere, you’ve got a drink in one hand and your cell phone in the other. In your stomach is chocolate and booze. On one side of you is a girl in a leotard with cat ears on and she’s telling you what an asshole her ex is. On your other side is a girl dressed up as sexy Mother Teresa and she’s sleeping with the other girl’s asshole ex. Trick on one side of you, Treat on the other, and your drink is almost empty. It’s getting colder now outside and darker earlier and earlier. It’s time to start self reviewing and battening down the hatches.

via Google today.

Last night I got into a conversation with someone who told me that they hated Halloween. They didn’t see the point of it anymore, they said. I have to say that I wasn’t exactly super enthused about this year’s festivities but in a way, I still feel like Halloween is one of the last pure holidays available to us.

The various Halloween decorations sold to you  leading up to tonight feel more welcome in your home, I feel, than the Christmas ones. And the fact that the Christmas decorations start rolling out in store aisles as early as October now doesn’t make the sentiment that comes with them feel any more genuine or less hollow. But there’s still a kind of joy in those who put up something around their house with the intent of scaring a person or reveling in a bit of annual darkness.

Then there’s the candy. That one’s self evident, I think.

The movies. Halloween movies, or the movies that they play on TV around Halloween or the ones you specifically seek out because of this holiday, they aren’t just seasonal. They’re timeless, in their own special, twisted, beautiful way.

from here.

There’s always a mood that can strike a horror fan for movies about witches or demons or zombies or psycho killers or what have you and that mood isn’t solely isolated to Samhain. It’s just amplified there, maybe.

Besides, there’s just a handful of true, genuine Christmas cinema classics and the rest is bullshit. A movie can feature Rob Lowe in a pullover standing in front of a Christmas tree or feature an orphan meeting an angel who cures his syphilis or whatever, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch it. And as far as “holiday cinema” goes, Christmas is Halloween’s only real competition, and just like the holiday itself, it’s an empty category.

Never mind the fact that Halloween is the last real holiday where you can be yourself. You can be independent. Maybe you need to put on a costume and go out and get drunk and pretend to be someone else for a few hours after the sun sets, but it’s worth it. Maybe that’s how you need to express yourself. Either way, it’s your time. Enjoy it. After this it’s Thanksgiving and your circa Christmas fare, and you’re surrounded by family and you have to pretend to be someone else. No, you’re not a disappointment to your parents or extended relatives who know nothing of the real you but have some concerns based on your facebook status updates. No, this year hasn’t been a disappointment despite all the big plans and hopes you’ve had for it. And no, you’re not a disappointment to yourself, you hope.

Just to reiterate, Halloween is nothing but: Candy, booze, spooks, thrills, sexy costumes, ghosts, goblins, ghouls, an excuse to break free and have a little fun while leaving a little bit of your dignity behind. That sounds amazing. It also sounds like your average day on the internet just IRL.

Oh well, right? October is over, and another holiday has passed. Here on Counterforce the past month has been about the words of dead writers and witches and vampires and comic books (and comics on the web) and television shows (and television shows based on comic books like The Walking Dead) and actresses and wondering where they’ve been and who they’ve been fucking and all sorts of ridiculous shit on the internet in it’s silly labyrinthine ways. So, business as usual, I guess.

And tomorrow is another day. And probably more of the same.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life.”

Posted by Marco Sparks on

Today I was minding my own business and this song came on:

That’s Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight.” But you’d have to know that, right? The people who don’t know that are probably these same weird people that I keep running into lately that have never seen Back To The Future or have NEVER HEARD (lower case wtf?) of The Empire Strikes Back. Anyway. Hearing this song today reminded me of four things:

1. I think I’m locked into a vicious cycle of having to always pause whatever I’m doing to do the air drums when the drumming enters this song. Is that an unattractive quality? I hope not.

2. The first time I did the air drums at the exact right time that they came into the song when I was a stupid little kid when one of those amazing moments of victories that you experience as a stupid little kid. I felt invincible.

3. I had a friend named Steve, who… well, that’s a long story for another time. But Steve was a drama major once upon a time and I remember him telling me once over a few drinks how it was his dream to do the lyrics to this song as a monologue on stage at some point in his life. I’m sure by now that Steve has awarded himself quite a few Oscars for performances so far only witnessed by the bathroom mirror.

4. I’ve said this many a time before, but I miss this era in Phil Collins’ career. He was just likable and a simple pop star, but he really mined a dark corner of the human psyche and added synthesizer and that’s what the top 40 looked like back then. Just listen to songs like “Mama,” which he did with Genesis, or “I Don’t Care Anymore,” or even the classic “Against All Odds,” they’re just so sad and desperate and dark and… amazing. There’s this grand urban legend built up about the lyrical content of “In The Air Tonight,” which people take quite literally, assuming that Phil Collins perhaps watched a person drown while singling out the guilty party at a concert during the performance of the hit song he wrote about it, which is a little insane, but is fascinating to watch it grow over the years, mostly by what we call “Telephone” here in America, but they call “Chinese Whispers” in England. It just seems so strange and appealing to me, that period of keyboard and lack of… flash. I mean, seriously, back in the day this guy…

…was one of the leading pop stars of the day and age. This guy…

No joke, that. And yet, pre-Disney soundtracks, he was like the Bob Hoskins of pop.

Tuesday, without a cluesday.

Posted by Marco Sparks on

Well, first, there’s this:

from here and here.

Wow. That’s just a terrible picture. But it’s an instant classic example of FAIL, right? I’ve really grown tired of FAIL and the people who say FAIL ad nauseam, but this time, it’s justified. FAIL. An equal amount of fail to me, actually, is this picture:

ScarJo and Sandra Bullock sharing a calculated kiss at an MTV something or other? Fuck, could there be anything more boring?

Of course, it’s hard to get too excited about an awards show that’s seemingly calculated and concocted just to test the waters for a spin off movie starring a character that was a silly throwaway cameo in a previous comedy film and was assayed by an actor who had had some problems in recent years. Well, I guess the experiment worked.

I miss the classic train wreck celebs. Otherwise known as the genuine people tossed into the world of the glitz and glamor and stumbling magnificently in front of all of us. Too often celebs are no different from whatever brand of jeans or laundry detergent you’re buying. They’re just another product. Their lives are delicately planned and coordinated PR campaigns, as thoroughly put together as your average storyline in professional wrestling. And who’s the more remembered wrestlers usually?

The villains.

Who gives a shit about the heroes?

I’m tired and it’s hot and it’s 2010 and right now, I just don’t give a shit about all the goodness and sunshine in the world. Maybe I will later when it cools down and the stars come out and I’ve had a cocktail or three or four, but right now all I want to see are the naughty bits.

Or the crazy fun bits, I don’t know, maybe.

Or maybe I’m only happy when it rains?

I don’t want to see the super heroes today. I want to see the super villains, the ones who crawl their way out of their comic book storylines and snort a few lines between the panels of art and story.

from here.

The Sandra Bullock/Jesse James story… I have nothing to add to this. America’s Sweetheart and the motorcycle guy with tattoos and he cheats on her with a girl with neck tattoo and Nazi-esque leanings. It’s fascinating on the surface and the more you dig, it’s sad. And weird. Like a perfect soap opera storyline that’s mutated and crawled it’s way into real life.

And granted, these are people’s names being dragged through the mud and vilified and hearts are being broken and it’s making somebody somewhere money. A lot of money.

Actually, it’s probably making everyone in this situation a lot of money, in different ways. And it’s just one of billions of celebrity headlines that I feel like I’m bombarded with on a weekly basis and it only leaves me hollow. And more and more, I feel like it’s just people playing a role, filling a requirement that’s out there.

In an easy “no duh” statement, are celebrities are doing the work of our pornographers, but we look down on one (aspect of ourselves) and seem to praise and adore another.

This has nothing to do with anything, I just thought it was funny.

I’m not really going to dissect it because I really have nothing to add to it. Complaints, maybe, but it feels pointless to complain about it, like maybe I should be saving my breath for something else, something important. Between Sandy and Jesse and Heidi and Spencer and Tom and Katie (and Suri/L. Ron, Jr.) all the other potential Bennifers and Brangelinas out there, the last one that really made feel anything (and it was laughter) was some headline about how the thing that attracted Brad to Angelina and broke up his marriage to Jennifer was that she (Angelina) gave really great rimjobs and apparently that’s what Brad is into it. I mean, that’s so surreal and absurd and I absolutely hope it’s true because, as ridiculous as it could potentially be, it at least feels human to me. And I miss that, and I really wish that I could turn on the TV and see a bunch of humans doing something…

I mean, look at this: The Queen of England knighting Patrick Stewart. That’s just great. And yet, I look at it and all I see is an old robot being plugged and marching out of her crate to do some ceremonial animatronics on the king of Shakespearean Sci Fi.

The other night I was talking to Maria and I threatened to do a blog post of nothing but pictures of celebrities drunk because I was feeling low and that would give me a temporary laugh.

And Maria, the classic enabler that she wonderfully is, merely said, “DO IT!”

Some day I’m worried that I might. Out of desperation, fatigue, or boredom, I don’t know. Reiterating from yesterday’s post…

…but either way: Internet, give me something new. Please, I beg you. Show me something with flash or sparkle, something that’ll make me laugh or widen my eyes, and I’ll potentially follow you anywhere.

Something something bad pun MENOPAUSE!

Posted by Benjamin Light on

The first ever Counterforce post was me kicking dirt on the corpse of Sex and the City. Naturally, Hollywood zombie-fied that corpse and made a sequel two years later.

No, I haven’t gone to see it. I don’t hate myself.

Ai! Ai! A balrog! A balrog!

Yes, I’m going to heap even more scorn on the oxygen thieves responsible for this franchise. Because lets be honest, reading about how terrible this movie is has to be more entertaining that suffering through its 2.5 hour running time. It’s rocking a 14% right now on Rotten Tomatoes. Many are calling it the worst movie of the year. I’m calling it cultural terrorism. That touchstone you can point to when you’re talking about what’s wrong with the world.

Kudos to Horseface and her hack director Michael Patrick King for producing the first Hollywood-financed Al Queda propaganda film. I mean, that’s what this is, right? You’re trying to make the world hate America, aren’t you? You aren’t? Seriously? No, come on, tell me this is some sort of extremely bold satire. You want us to stab women who say “fabulous” too much. It’s all a big put on, right? At least spin me some bullshit about camp and the queer gaze. No? Are you fucking kidding me? You meant this? You really put in a scene where this rich bitch who doesn’t work and has a housekeeper AND A FUCKING NANNY is whining about how hard it is to be a parent? You intended this? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Was the goal to validate everything haters like me always said about the show?

I find it repulsive that this tripe still gets passed off a progressive in some circles. Contort your ideals all you want, there’s nothing empowering about consumerism and staring at your belly-button isn’t Feminism.

* not pictured: reason, accountability, self-awareness, shame, respect...

Some choice review quotes:

“Everyone’s phoning it in for the first two hours. And let me point out something that I’ve just said there: ‘The First. Two. Hours.’”

from here

“The most grotesque aspect of Sex and the City remains the central characters, all four of whom (to varying degrees) are obsessed with the trappings of wealth. They exist to consume. It’s a three-ring circus of materialism, narcissism, and entitlement.”

from here

“Carrie immediately reveals her kiss to Big, who ultimately forgives her because “I took a vow”—and gives her a big fat diamond ring to “remind her that she’s married.” Charlotte and Miranda bitch about their kids, then raise a glass to the hard work of stay-at-home mothers who do it all—and without help.”

from here

“The stakes are so low that, during the girls’ final madcap sprint through an outdoor market disguised in burqas, the unspeakable outcome they’re trying to forestall is the possibility of having to fly home in coach.”

from here

“The tagline states that we should ‘Carrie on.’ The publicity dept. almost got it right, but the spelling’s off. It needs to be ‘Carrion’ because nothing says putrefying, rotten and vile quite like this sequel.”

from here

“This is the new torture porn.”

that one was my favorite, from here

Do Not Want!

“When Marie Antoinette did this, the people tore down the f’ing Bastille.”

from here

“When Carrie asks Big, “Am I just a bitch wife who nags you?” I could hear all the straight men in the theater — all four of us — being physically prevented from responding.”

from here

This is actually David Duchovny in a wig and shades, SJP was busy the day of the promo shoot.

and finally

“Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of Sex and the City 2 are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row. … Carrie also narrates the film, providing useful guidelines for those challenged by its intricacies. Sample: “Later that day, Big and I arrived home.”"

–Roger Ebert

And Chris Noth, as Mr. Big.

Counterforce at the Movies: The Twilight Saga – New Moon

Posted by Benjamin Light on

[3:32] <Benjamin_Light> Hello Everyone and Welcome to Counterforce at the Movies!

[3:32] <marcosparks2012> This is going to be painful

[3:32] <marcosparks2012> Right off the bat, let me just say… Summit entertainment: How dare you?

[3:32] <Benjamin_Light> This week, we’re watching New Moon

[3:32] <marcosparks2012> Oh my God, it’s the MOON. And it’s new. I’m sorry, I’m just dazzled by the sparkly images on the screen

[3:32] <Benjamin_Light> Marco never saw twilight, so just let me know if you need filling in on any pertinent details

Continue reading →

Strange cases.

Posted by Marco Sparks on

Well, I’d hate to reblog io9 twice in the same week, but they were right about this one, the below video is one of the best openings to a TV show ever…

…that’s the five five minutes of Jekyll, Steven Moffat’s reimagining and modern update of Charles Dickens’s Jekyll and Hyde story, starring James Nesbitt, Gina Bellman,  Denis (“Wedge” from Star Wars) Lawson, Paterson Joseph, and the absolutely lovely Michelle Ryan, who you may remember from the brief Bionic Woman update that NBC attempted.

Also, I don’t really feel all that bad since I posted that same video on my tumblr back in December of 2008, but that doesn’t really matter. Though when I did, I mentioned Moffat’s then upcoming and long dreamed off taking over of Doctor Who and that he was sought out by Spielberg to write the first entry of his and Peter Jackson’s Rin Tin Tin series (which Moffat had to leave after the first film to do Doctor Who). Now that his run on Doctor Who is current, a wonderful reality, but he also has another show happening later this year, an update of the Sherlock Holmes mythos with Mark Gattis.

Obviously, the above scene starts the story in media res, but here’s what I said almost two years ago: Moffat is completely unafraid to start you right in the middle of the action. He has no problem not only demanding that you pay attention and be smart enough to follow his storytelling but has the confidence to know that it’ll find you, wherever you are, and hook you. That’s only gotten more true since.


Why Won’t You Just Die Already? Radio edition

Posted by Benjamin Light on

I’d like to start a new feature called “Why Won’t You Just Die Already?”

Don't tease us, asshole

Here at The Counterforce, we believe that good things happen to good people. Imagine my thrill when I read about 80s gutter trash bret michaels suffering a brain hemorrhage. It was like hearing that your favorite baseball pitcher was taking a no-hitter into the eighth. But alas, he has, as of yet, cheated death. And seriously, wouldn’t dying be his most sensible career move?

We can still hope. Cross your fingers, kight a candle, kill a chicken. Or, as Big Ben Roethlisberger would say, “All my bitches, take some shots!” If we all think good thoughts, maybe the world will reward us.

This guy's a rapist?? GTFO!

But I digress. Marco and I were talking recently about Radio. Used to be, if you wanted to hear the new shit, you tuned in to your favorite alt-station. Ok, so those old stations probably played tons of shit, but leave us our idealized youths. They played good stuff too, I swear! But today. Today. Fuck me. Have you even tried listening to a modern radio station? Jesus.

What fascinates me is that all those old shitty songs from the 90s still get a ton of play. I mean who the fuck actually wants to hear fucking ‘Give it Away’ again? And yet there is this eternal playlist of shitty modern rock songs that just will not die. This must be how our parents felt about Donovan and Otis Redding. So, today, we will focus on the music that just won’t go away. This short list will be no means be exhaustive, I would encourage you all to add your suggestions in the comments.

3 AM – Matchbox Twenty

He wants to push you around.

Have you ever met a single person ever who actually likes this band? Rob Thomas must suck the dicks of some very important people.

Give Me One Reason – Tracy Chapman

No! We refuse to give you even one reason. Go away!

This is what’s playing on repeat at the Starbucks in Hell.

Save Tonight – Eagle-eyed Cherry

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The musical equivalent of drinking one of those little pre-packaged sealed cups of dairy creamer.

Torn – Natalie Imbruglia

Ironically enough, Natalie’s Singles compilation is also a single.

This one makes no sense at all. She was a one-hit wonder from Convict Island, so it’s not like the stations have a payola contract with her to burn off.

Meet Virginia – Train

In case you didn’t hear, her father works on carburetors.

Possibly the most asinine song ever.

Give It Away – Red Hot Chili Peppers

Seeing this picture will cause you to reach for the tuner on your stereo, just out of reflex.

Why do our favorite bands always tend to fade after a few albums, but these motherfuckers just stick around forever, still pumping out shit? Their new stuff is bad enough, but after all these years, Give It Away is still making everyone change the radio station, even if it’s to a commercial.

Fly Away – Lenny Kravitz

As my good friend Erotikus once said, ‘Rock is dead, and Lenny Kravitz is fucking the corpse.’

It’s not like this was a good song that got played too much, it was a steaming pile of shit even when it came out. And it STILL GETS FUCKING AIRPLAY! Who are these people who enjoy the stylings of Lenny Kravitz??? Please suicide yourselves.

I’m sure you can think of additional candidates.

“What if our dreams no longer needed us?”

Posted by Marco Sparks on

Okay then! Having survived the return of those silly Daleks, it’s another week, and a brain new episode of Doctor Who, this being “The Time Of Angels,” part one of a two parter…

Continue reading →

Heart in a cage.

Posted by Marco Sparks on

We here at Counterforce have decided – and let’s face it, sometimes we just know better – that your life would be both drastically and dramatically different if today it included quotes from one of America’s most vital thespians and national treasures: Nic Cage.

“Passion is very important to me. If you stop enjoying things, you’ve got to look at it, because it can lead to all kinds of depressing scenarios.”

“There’s a fine line between the Method actor and the schizophrenic.”

from here.

“I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.”

“One of the first signs of being depressed is that you lose interest in things. That`s why I think it is important to stay passionate.”

from Nic Cage As Everyone!

“Hollywood didn’t know if I was an actor or a nut or if I was this crazy character I was playing. I had developed an image of being a little bit unusual, different and wild.”

On how sometimes he goes way over the top and sometimes he holds back:

“Thank you for noticing, because first of all, it’s difficult to talk about the work, right? Because when you talk about the work, it’s kind of stupid because the work speaks for itself. I don’t want to name it, because when you name it, if you name it then it loses its mystery. If I tell you exactly what I was thinking, or what I was up to – and I have been guilty of that – then you lose your secret connection with the work of art. And I digress, but I went on Dick Cavett many years ago and met Miles Davis. And I was talking about things like art synthesis and Picasso and you can do with acting what he did, or with music, and Miles came out and he got it, you know, he was looking at me, he gave me this, like – he nodded and he winked at me. Miles Davis, you know. And we were sharing the trumpet. And ever since then, because he accepted whatever my philosophy was, I believe that I wanted to approach acting as jazz. And so he became like a surrealist father of sorts, along with Walt Disney. And I thought, ‘Okay. Well, this time, I’m going to just let anything come out, whatever it may be.’ Like Bad Lieutenant, you know. But sometimes, it’s really thought out and constructed and carefully thought out, like Adaptation. So I always like to mix it up.”

“As a teenager I was more of an anarchist, but now I want people to thrive and be more harmonious.”

On his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley:

“I`m sad about this, but we shouldn’t have been married in the first place.”

“I cry a lot. My emotions are very close to my surface. I don`t want to hold anything in so it festers and turns into pus – a pustule of emotion that explodes into a festering cesspool of depression.”

“Shock is still fun. I won’t ever shut the door on it.”

“[Pablo Picasso] said art is a lie that tells the truth. What if you just want to tell the truth and not lie about it?

“They say, ‘Evil prevails when good men fail to act.’ What they ought to say is, ‘Evil prevails.’”

-from one of his most underrated movies, Lord Of War.

“I remember when I met Johnny Depp, he was a guitar player from Florida, and he had no idea he could be an actor. I said, ‘I really think you are an actor, that you have that ability.’ That was just from playing one game of Monopoly with him. I sent him to my agent and he has gone on to carve out a successful career.”

“I think I jump around more when I`m alone.”

Referring to his family:

“It’s a family that’s loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy, you know. Killers, even.”

from, once again, Nic Cage As Everyone.

“To be a good actor you have to be something like a criminal, to be willing to break the rules to strive for something new.”