The Kids Of America.

from here.

The kids of American are really and truly screwed. Their parents are fucking morons, and when they’re not being raised by their parents, the pop culture that babysits them is probably hurting them, lowering their intelligence. The fact that the President of the United States of America, a man elected with a resounding mandate from the people, can’t address students in a classroom in a non-political fashion to simply give them a motiviation speech is terrifying.

Almost enough to make you want to move to Canada, you know?

It’s kind of funny, thinking about some of the things I was saying about Mad Men yesterday, and so few things change. I mean, we’re so much more partisan, but other than that…

But then again, it’s not just Republican parents. Seemingly, everyone in this country is slowly revealing themselves to be idiots.

Oh well. It’s too depressing to talk about. No wonder we don’t have jet packs and flying cars. I’m going to go watch True Blood.

“Although George Michael had only got to second base, he’d gone in head first, like Pete Rose.”

I know I’m a few days late to acknowledging this picture but at this point and time in my life, I honestly care as much about this as I do for universal health care. In fact, both would be nice. I’ve seen that Obama-as-Superman grafitti all over the world, and now I want to see new episodes of Arrested Development (or a movie, yeah, sure, okay) playing in the waiting room of the hospital where I’m getting doctors to prescribe me antibiotics for all my many, many, many needs for free. Yes, please, and thank you.

The politics of the here and now.

from here.

I like that Obama can get away with moves that we’d all hate Bush for doing. Yeah, it’s a kind of double standard, but it also goes back to this: Who would you rather get a beer with, Obama or Bush? If you answered “Bush” to that question, then keep it to yourself.

Fireworks and the Full Court Press.

To recap: Republican Governors are having affairs (which is hardly new or news, really)(and I love the word “dalliances,” because it sounds like “alliance,” but, you know, means sex) and Franken won his Senate seat. Again. Eight months after he won it the first time. And also…

Wow, so Sarah Palin announced her upcoming resignation as Governor of Alaska yesterday… Didn’t see that coming. I mean, I’m not that upset, but as far as “making room” for a run in 2012 goes, this seems like a pretty useless move. But this sudden quitting of her post just feels rush and oh so mysterious, right?

It didn’t work for Romney, right? It didn’t work Bob Dole way back when, or Edwards. Running for President as the Governor of Alaska is one thing, but as the former Governor? Congrats. That may be the one thing that actually means less than being the Governor of Alaska. Plus, it kind of seems like her party has moved onto an even more cartoon version of itself than she can muster, but even still, this resignation most likely doesn’t mean that she plans on going away.

Also, it was nice to see all 8 of the residents of Alaska turned out for the speech.

Also, I’m not much of a sports guy, but I think I tend to get most of the bad sports metaphors people want to use when they’re talking, but beyond the “full court press” meanderings, I think I spent half of her speech wondering what the hell she was talking about. She seemed incredibly nervous and razzled. She seemed like she was on a few pills.

I’d be curious to see what the take of the people who actually honestly support further political endeavors from Palin think of all of this. She’d probably be better off getting a show on FOX, right? The more and more I’m exposed to her, the more and more I can’t stand her, but I’d still take her over Glenn Beck any day of the week. Seriously. Also, for the people who claimed that they’d boycott CBS until Letterman was fired, do they no longer watch bullshit like CSI and whatever the fuck else CBS airs? What else does CBS air?

I really don’t miss the election 2008 bullshit at all. Though we did have some fun back then, didn’t we? Anway, go have yourself a great 4th of July, everybody, and here’s to hoping you make some nice fireworks of your own…

Blood in Persepolis.

The situation with the protests over the election results in Iran have been fascinating. And captivating. Not necessarily in a good way, but like  car crash, you can’t look way. And you’re hopeful that things will turn out okay.

I work with a Persian woman. A few days ago, re: the situation in her home country, she asked me, “Doesn’t this shock you?”

I said, “No. I’m from California.”

from here.

“It is up to Iranians to make decisions about who Iran’s leaders will be. We respect Iranian sovereignty and want to avoid the United States being the issue inside of Iran, which sometimes – the United States can be a handy political football, or discussions witht he United States [can be]. Having said all that, I am deeply toubled by the violence I have seen on television. I think that the democratic process, free speech, the ability of people to peacefully dissent, all of those are universal values, and need to be respected. And whenever I see violence perpetrated on people who are peacefully dissenting, and whenever the American people see that, they are rightfully troubled.”

-President Obama, with some real talk. People are criticizing him for not getting more involved, but he’s got a hell of a point.

One of the green party supporters of Mir Hossen Mousavi helping an injured Iranian police officer out of danger during the escalated violence of the riots.

I saw this floating around on tumblr yesterday:

Change your twitter settings t say you are in the Tehran timezone, and chng your location to Tehran.

Iranian censor are filtering by these settings to find dissidents, by doing this you can make things  bit more difficult for them.

Some further reading:

State Dept. to Twitter: keep site up in Iran.

Observing social unrest online at 32,000 feet.

Iran’s day of anguish.

Andrew Sullivan over at The Atlantic.

Revolutionary guards arrested in Iran.

McCain unhinged.

An amazing collection of photos from the riots on flickr and from here.

The candidates in this past election:

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (top left), the current president who claimed victory in the recent election, though many people believe that the challenger, former prime minister Mir Hossein Mousavi, is the actual winner with Ahmadinejad actually coming in third. The sad thing is: It probably doesn’t matter since, despite what the people want, the Ayatollah is going to decide everything.

One of the people who feel that Ahmadinejad lost was Persepolis author Marjane Satrapi. And here’s an interesting picture:

How does your vote count go down as the votes being counted?

The saddest part is that our best, our most realisic hope, is that the violence stops soon and that people aren’t hurt too bad by whatever comes from the outcome. A massive regime change in Iran? Not likely.

Reading the latest updates on the protests yesterday, my co-worker held back tears and mentioned that she has a sister living in Iran, and that while she knows that her sister is currently safe and is avoiding this danger at all costs, she’s still understandably terrified for her.

Then she got a phone call from her family: the son of a friend of a friend of the family had been killed in one of the protests in Tehran. She didn’t know him, but the connection had just gotten that much more serious to her, housed even deeper inside her. Her homeland, her family, even people she had only heard of before. Everything was connected in this.

After a while of not saying anything, she finally said, “but maybe some good will come of this.”

I asked her what she meant and she told me that of course she didn’t want anyone to die, or to suffer, like people were doing now, but she didn’t want people to be in this situation again. You never want to have to need a revolution, but maybe some good will come out of it. I don’t want to use a cliche about breaking a few eggs to make an omelette, so I’ll leave it at something even simpler and perhaps more cliched: It’s never wrong to hope for a better tomorrow.

Everything that rises must converge

So now then.

jackface

i don’t really have much to say at the moment. I still despise 95% of our culture, but at least we have Lost.

Not so much:

swine

It’s really a shame that newspapers are dying, because blogging can’t fill that gap in real journalism, and having to rely on the AP, well…

AP

…We’ll always have Yahoo! Front Page. Thanks to them, I know it’s a bad thing for a girl to call Benjamin “pal” in a flirtext.

flirsexting

I’m too lazy to link to anything today. Fuck it, it’s Friday. Do you have any idea how badly I want to kill you?

ENDCAT

Addendum: Benjamin Light has consumed significant amounts of generic vodka. I was attending a screening of Star Trek last week with Occam Razor when, pre lens-flare-o-rama, the theater aired the trailer for the Night at the Museum sequel. At then end of this travesty of  cinema, a girl behind and to the left of us declared: “I have to see it! I HAVE to see it! I HAVE TO SEE IT!”

… I don’t even know what to say to that. Judging by the demograph of the crowd, I can only assume she was sincere in her desire to view said movie. Is there a less significant film in the history of cinema? I don’t know. But it cements my feeling that Television (or, at least serialized narratives) is the future of motion pictures, and not film. Take one peak at the trailer to The Road and it becomes painfully clear that some stories should not be made into movies.

For instance, I would love to see certain scenes from Cryptonomicon realized on a big screen, especially the Bobby Shaftoe stuff, but you can take a step back and admit that, yes, some narratives were intended to be digested as books, not movies. And where movies fail to deliver the nuance of a novel, perhaps a serialized narrative in the format of a television show can succeed. I feel, lately, that too many properties are being converted into movies, despite the fact that the structure is incompatible: see The Watchmen. Somehow the motion picture has established itself as the high point of media saturation, so we get subpar “adaptations” of The Golden Compass and the like.

Note to hollywood: if you want to make a movie, make a movie, but not all stories should be adapted so. Most people love books not for the plot, but for the personality of the narrator, and the intimate connection between reader and storyteller. In short, if Hollywood can’t duplicate that in Script Form a la Fight Club, then it’s probably not worth the money to make a film of it. In other words: hire better screenwriters or make better tv shows. Not every property can be condensed into a 105-minute feature.

I have no doubt in my mind that the Night at the Museum sequel will make shitloads of money. I don’t fully understand it, but I know better that to vote against it. Although I’d love to see bits of The Baroque Cycle on the big screen, if only to expose the material to a wider audience, there’s a kind of comfort in the knowledge that only the truly committed will appreciate the nuances of literature.

Somebody to articulate their rage for them

Keith Olbermann wishes he were this generation’s Murrow. This generation’s Beale. But he’s not.

Jon 1, the Whoring Financial Media 0

Jon 1, the Whoring Financial Media 0

A fascinating thing is occurring on television right now. In the midst of the Second Great Depression, Jon Stewart has been absolutely dismantling the Financial Punditocracy. Tonight featured an extended interview between Stewart and newfound rival Jim Cramer of “Mad Money.” You should just go watch it here.

I really do think Jon ought to get Pulitzer consideration for his takedown of CNBC over the last two weeks. What you’re seeing play out on the airwaves of basic cable and the Internet is the sudden and furious dissolution of an entire paradigm of financial “wisdom.” Stewart and his writers do a great job of boiling down the economic collapse to its essential elements without disregarding the complexity of the situation. Plus, it’s painfully funny.

And I thought my jokes were bad

I feel like I should say something about the Oscars. I didn’t even watch them this year. I was almost surprised that Heath won. The Academy are just the kind of assholes who would piss all over a no-brainer like that. I didn’t see Slumdog, but I still think Wall-E was the best movie of the year.

The Peanut St. Cosmo of tomorrow

The Peanut St. Cosmo of tomorrow

This year, Mickey Rourke got nominated for playing a washed-up, has-been, hard-living tool and co-star Marisa Tomei joined him with a nod for playing an aging hottie who only gets paid when she takes her clothes off. Acting?

Seth Rogen, posing with an unidentified escort

Seth Rogen, posing with an unidentified paid escort

PS. Watchmen looks like hot sweaty ass. Like watching someone film their own taint. Dear Zach Snyder: you know how you use that camera move where it’s all slo-motion and then it speeds up for a second and then it’s all slo-mo again? That was worn out by the first Matrix sequel you fucking hack, go back to directing commercials. Still, I think all the blame for the Crisis of Bad Directing in Modern Cinema can be traced back to Peter Jackson. Once upon a time, gratuitous slo-mo and goofy theatrical over-acting were recognized as such. Then this kiwi sheep fucker comes along and people confuse good source material for a good movie.

How can anyone take the Academy seriously when this bloated piece of shit won an Oscar for Editing?

How can anyone take the Academy seriously when this bloated piece of shit won an Oscar for Editing?

Oh, and Quentin? What if, instead of making exacting pastiches of bad movies, you picked your balls up off the floor and dared to try to make a good movie next time?

In other news, I came across this on Salon.com. Fucking right-wingers. I really don’t know how american society is expected to function when a good 25% of the country is fucking crazy. Oh noes! A black guy won an election (in a fucking landslide)! Let’s start “war-gaming” for the coming Civil War!

I think we can take them

I think we can take them

Stupid Republican fucks think they’re being “disenfranchised” because they got their asses kicked in an election. Never mind their 8 years in power when they totally fucked up the country. It’s too bad the Senate GOP didn’t follow through on their “Nuclear” option a few years back. ‘Bama could be ramming every bill he wants through congress and telling the GOP to go fuck themselves. People didn’t vote for Obama because they thought Republicans should be listened to.

hacked3

Anyway, read that article. Sometimes Glenn Greenwald is annoying, but he does a great job there pointing out how ideologically bankrupt the GOP is. Buncha stupid tribal motherfuckers.

Meh. the downside of Democracy.

Random Ramblings: Good Superbowl Friday edition

I’ve got a bunch of half-formed semi-interesting thoughts in my head, and like everyone else in America, I’ve decided to fill a blog with them. In my defense, I just rewatched Jughead, so my mind is trying to operate whilst blown.

My episodes are always awesome, brotha!

My episodes are always awesome, brotha!

…The White House has a blog, but it’s pretty boring. It would be way cooler if it was actually ‘Bama’s personal blog. Something like:

…Shot hoops with BronBron and Agent Zero this morning. Cavs are taking it this year, gotta talk him into CHI-town in o-ten. …Michelle’s been buggin on the fair pay bill, so I got that signed away. GOP was MIA on the stimulus in the House. LOLz! like I need their votes… oh. wait, I think Rahm just killed a dude. brb

Mount Redoubt is a pretty awesome name for a volcano. Especially one that’s about to rain ash on Sarah Palin. I once called for the destruction of New Orleans in a blog and it happened the next day. Can I get a similar result if I call for a volcanopocalypse on Wasilla, AK?

Bring it

Bring it

…My new theory: Charles Widmore is his own grandfather. Damn. I just blew my mind all over again.

"Quiet, ahm goin incognito, brotha!"

"Quiet, ahm goin incognito, brotha!"

24 is also back, and as stupidly entertaining as in its best seasons. I’m not going to get into a discussion of 24 and Torture here, like everyone else talking about 24 in 2009, because trying to have an intelligent conversation about reality and 24 at the same time is Stupid. Jack Bauer faked killing a hot redhead by shooting her just on the edge of her neck. That was inspired. But despite America’s bromance with soulful, whispering, never-smiling Jack, my heart belongs to Chloe.

America's favorite Asperger's Disorder-afflicted computer nerd.

America's favorite Asperger's Disorder-afflicted computer nerd.

Without her, 24 is just a stupid counter-terror action show. With her, it’s a stupid counter-terror action show with Chloe! This season, Chloe is 1/4th of CTU in its entirety, hacking into the FBI at will, while still being a stay-at-home mom. Bring on more l33t haX0r battles between her and obvious mole Janeane Garofalo.

"That was really unfair what they said about you on TV, Jack. You looked good, though."

"That was really unfair what they said about you on TV, Jack. You looked good, though."

…Now I see what Richard meant when he asked “no no, John, which of these thing belong to you, already?”

This is what all the cool kids will be wearing this spring

This is what all the cool kids will be wearing this spring

…Obama is picking the Steelers on Sunday. I disagree, but I admire a politician who doesn’t BS and equivocate on sports. He’s got his positions and he goes with them.

…I think we always knew Joe Torre was a piece of shit.

…California is the greatest state in the nation and like the 6th largest economy in the world, right? So why is the state government such a complete clusterfuck? And don’t say the Governator, it was shit even before he took over. I think I blame Enron and Prop 13. And years of self-serving careerists controlling the levers of power…

Remember this from back in 2000? Fuck.

Remember this from back in 2000? Fuck.

…This year’s Oscar noms: it’s like the Academy wants to beat us over the head with how pointless and irrelevant the awards are now.It was 10 years ago that Saving Private Ryan lost to fucking Shakespeare in Love. Since then, shite such as Chicago, Crash, Gladiator, Return of the King and A Beautiful Mind have won. Read that sentence again. That’s fucking bleak.

These days, it’s an honor not to be nominated.o_rly

It’s pretty obvious that all the real talent in H’Wood is on television now. Movies can’t get greenlighted unless they’re already a known property these days and the creative bankruptcy is going to kill the whole industry. Ah well, bring on more quality serialized TV. Or, barring that, at least a decent Scottish buddy cop show starring Henry Ian Cusick and Ewan McGregor.

I'd watch it.

I'd watch it.

PS. holy shit, i just discovered that Desmond was in that awful-looking video game movie Hitman. I guess I have to watch that now.