This is his twitter account.

This is how Michael Caine talks:

This is a great Michael Caine impression:

And this is Michael Caine giving you a masterclass on how to fucking act in a movie:

Also:

Maria Diaz: Hey…

MD: Huh? Oh, I sent you the wrong one. But i do love that song. Look at this:

and…

Marco: Oh man, that song.

MD: This one is better:

MD: Which one, the Nine Days one? Or Vertical Horizon?

Marco: Oh, the Nine Days one, sorry. But I think a lot part of it had to do with really thinking that the girl in the video was super duper cute.

MD: Yeah, that was probably the real reason. Especially because that Vertical Horizon song is terrible.

Marco: Part of it was also because I was really trying to win over this girl who looked like the girl in the Nine Days video and… I don’t know, maybe I felt justified in my affections by the song/video?

MD: the song is kinda cute, I think.

Marco: She was dating this ginormous drug dealer at the time. Well, not “ginormous,” neither physically not, you know, stature in the suburban drug selling racket, but… well, either way, I just couldn’t compete with the guy. And yeah, the song is fine. Probably better than fine.

MD: Awww. Yeah, drug dealers are very attractive to women. All that money. And all those drugs.

Marco: That particular Vertical Horizon song… I liked it maybe the first time I heard it, but every time after… grating.

MD: It’s the reveal at the end of the song… that HE is the one the girl doesn’t want.

Marco: Of course she doesn’t want him. (He’s hideous.) This…

MD: OMG this song.

Marco: There’s a very sad, very tragic playlist of recurring songs that I listened to a lot circa 1999 – 2002ish, and this song was on it intermittently.

MD: I bet we had many of the same songs. This was definitely on mine.

Marco: I feel like I was carrying around this very shallow sense of sadness or regret… like I had lost something that should be crucial but wasn’t, not really, though you at the time you couldn’t convince me of that… and my music reflected that.

MD: Exactly.

Marco: It’s strange that you got me thinking about that cause I was really thinking about a lot of music from back then lately the first summer I moved to this shithole state I live in… I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Ate shitty food. “Ate shitty” as in “ate terribly.” Drank beer. Lots. Laid on the couch in my huge bedroom listening to music and reading. That was it. Oh, and thought up ridiculous plots of silly Clive Cussler-esque thrillers.

…but that one U2 album, All That You Can’t Leave Behind? I associate that album so strongly, oddly enough, with Bret Easton Ellis’ first book and with Hunter S. Thompson’s The Rum Diary because I listened to that album on repeat while reading those books for the first time that summer.

MD: The first Bret Easton Ellis, that’s Less Than Zero?

Marco: Yeah, Less Than Zero.

Okay, that invisible pain I mentioned… do you want to see a really bad example of a song from that period?

MD: Of course. Always.

Marco: okay, this artist I’m about to bring up is ridiculous and you kind of knew that when she first debuted, but just how ridiculous and plastic hadn’t quite hit yet…

Anyway, her first two singles were just silly radio pop fluff, but this was her third single, I believe, and I remember hearing this song for the first time on headphones while walking somewhere late at night… and it just seemed to resonate with that tragic void living inside me…

It’s probably been so long since i’ve bought an actual CD i’m sad to say because I still like CDs, I’m still a guy who likes CDs, but I have a lot of bad pop punk CDs from that circa Avril era. I mean, I probably have 700 cds and it’s just this incredibly awesome, sexy music collection, but just figure that 30 or so of those cds are from artists like…

Marco: Well, maybe a little, but it was a time and a place and everything changes and you make explorations and sometimes what’s bad is good and vice versa. And blah blah blah. And anyone who doesn’t get that is an idiot, right? Plus, these tiny revelations made here are hardly the worse musical sins I’ve committed as a listener…

Though, thankfully, this was the time period in which was i also really discovering, like, The Get Up Kids, so it wasn’t all bad. And that said, I gotta tell you, I’m sorry, but I can’t join you on the Jason Mraz journey.

MD: hahahahaha.

When I was flying back from Europe with an ex, we had a HORRIBLE fight. And this is like 10+ hours of flying BTW, and I just listened to this Jason Mraz song over and over again on the airplane radio system. It was really quite sad.

Marco: I can imagine. I think I’d like the song if it was a different artist, you know?

MD: Yeah. Jason Mraz is easy to hate.

Marco: And it’s something about Mraz himself that I just despise.

Okay, so I am about to hit you with two megahits from that time period. i don’t know if you’re ready for it.

MD: I’m so fucking ready.

Marco: That is exactly what I wanted to hear. But first, let me just say… Thinking about that Unwritten Law song… I was working where I am currently already when that song was unleashed on me and it’s so vivid in my memory the girl I had a crush on then that I associate that song with… I mean, nothing ever happened with that girl. She thought I was profoundly weird without ever realizing just how right she was and yet I still think of her when I hear it. Anyways… Prepare thyself!

MD: Getting ready…

Marco: You say that but can ever truly be ready to go back to… this:

MD: OH MAN, that Lifehouse guy. Do you think he made his voice sound like that?

Marco: Ha ha. Do you remember where you were when you first said out loud, “NO WAY, THAT BIG VOICE DOES NOT SOUND LIKE THAT LITTLE GUY FROM THE CALLING.”

MD: Wow. Seriously. I had no idea this band even had a name. It was just a song that was everywhere at the time.

Marco: Like back then, as they were signing their record contract they must’ve known they would not last.

It would be so much easier if we were talking about just the 90s here…

from here.

or late 90′s fin de siècle music, but this period we’re talking about, that early 00s, was just so fucking weird. Here’s a really, really sad fact: I also recall the first mp3 I ever downloaded and while this wasn’t the very first, I believe that lifehouse single was either #2 or #3.

MD: Hmm has this song been on a lot of commercials?

Marco: Probably so very many.

MD: Here’s one for the ages:

Editor’s note: This was a few months ago, mind.

MD: The ultimate compliment for any music video, really.

Marco: For serious. Yeah,back then I really liked the Bleed American and Futures album, which made me go back and look up Clarity. So emotastic.

MD: yeah, all the emo kids were soooo mad when they got popular for 5 seconds.

Editor’s note: I then told MD again about the 600ish page political novel that Benjamin Light and I started writing back during the time period being covered in this music discussion. (Separate editor’s note: Those 600 pages ended up only being probably 1/8the the novel’s probable length had it lived past its infancy. Jesus.) Anyway, about 75 pages of that book were written to Jimmy Eat World’s Clarity album. -Marco.

MD: That’s what it’s supposed to do!

Marco: I remember there was a period where I went to Burger King for lunch every day – ugh – and I’d order my food and sit myself in the corner, with my back to the TV and so I could see everyone there and I’d listen to music on headphones and eat and read articles from the internet I had printed out earlier in the day at work and just write. I was working on so many things back then and I had downloaded the Wicker Park soundtrack of all soundtracks because I had heard it was “hip.” And on it was this song:

Marco: …and that begat me downloading their album at the time and I would listen to that Snow Patrol album all the time during that period and write and, of course, it’s strongly associated with a girl at the time and all that blah blah blah. Words and music and women… funny how they’re all so strongly tied together in my head.

And yeah, I thought that was funny too, re: The Office video. I guess Pam/Roy was someone’s OTP at the time?

But anyway, that Snow Patrol thing… I think that was the start of me pushing into a new aeon on musical interests, as far as cruising on the surface of mainstream “alternative rock”ish type music for the masses, and enjoying something about the generic nothingness there.

And that strange sadness that belonged to nothing real in my life? I really think that perhaps it died when I first heard this song…

Marco: I remember listening to this song on headphones on a lunchbreak at work and just breaking down into tears. I had to call in to my job from 100 yards away and tell them I’d be late and I just walked around, listening to this over and over again and feeling terrible, and wonderful, and terrible and sad and wounded, and it was like somewhere around then I stopped feeling sad about nothing and it was like the real regrets and misery entered my life.

MD: Like catharsis, like a breakthrough of sorts.

If all of this right now was a part of a documentary about my sad dealings with music at the dawn of my 20s, then the song that would be playing over the end credits sequence would be this:

Marco: Nothing. Nothing is ever really learned.

And that end titles sequence, also, would just be sitting on the sidelines of a Quinceañera, watching young Spanish girls in pretty dresses dancing around with their family.

MD: You know, that sounds oddly hopeful.

Marco: Le Sigh. Remember when everything was just so simple and innocent and… BRITPOP?

MD: And it’s probably right there when i realized that this whole conversation would a blog post.

Marco: Yeah, sorry about that, but I think you’re right… Or maybe it’ll even be two!

Editor’s note: TO BE CONTINUED!

1. This:

from here.

“I know more than I can express in words, and the little I can express would not have been expressed, had I not known more.”

2. This:

by Matt Bors, from here.

“I don’t think in any languages. I think in images.”

3. This:

and this:

and this:

and also this:

Cats quoting Charlie Sheen! from here.

“Play! Invent the world! Invent reality!”

Who is Arcade Fire?!

It seems like the theme of Sunday’s Grammys were “I don’t know who this person is.”

The most British movie ever.

The oral history of Party Down.

The Machinist‘s Brad Anderson to adapt J.G. Ballard’s Concrete Island, starring Christian Bale.

Robots to get their own internet.

You can buy the new Radiohead album this Saturday!

PLAY The Great Gatsby for NES.

Sex, drugs, and cannibalism: the Chilean miners’ story.

Fuck Yeah Lady Writers.

Hello! And RIP Uncle Leo.

House group proposes shifting Earth science funds to manned spaceflight.

This guy will buy you breakfast if you can explain Lost to him.

The science of heartlessness.

Michel Gondry is adapting Philip K. Dick’s Ubik.

from here.

Michael Moorcock on J. G. Ballard.

Sarah Jessica Parker wants to do a Sex And The City 3 and she wants to do it just for Benjamin Light.

What makes black holes so black?

Crystal Renn addresses her weight loss and maintaining plus-size model status.

The Criterion Collection is on Hulu Plus (and so is your mom).

Americans know so little about the bible.

James Van Der Beek to play himself on an ABC sitcom. Seriously.

Also: Aaron Sorkin to guest as himself on 30 Rock.

“We live in a world ruled by fictions of every kind — mass merchandising, advertising, politics conducted as a branch of advertising, the instant translation of science and technology into popular imagery, the increasing blurring and intermingling of identities within the realm of consumer goods, the preempting of any free or original imaginative response to experience by the television screen. We live inside an enormous novel. For the writer in particular it is less and less necessary for him to invent the fictional content of his novel. The fiction is already there. The writer’s task is to invent the reality.”

-J. G. Ballard

The sun unleashed a huge solar flare towards the Earth.

CBS News’ Lara Logan hospitalized after sexual assault in Egypt.

Living towers made of humans.

Hans Zimmer promises that the score for The Dark Knight Rises will be both “epic” and “iconic.”

Also, 1 in 5 films coming out in 2011 will be sequels.

Click here to see the beginning of something wonderful.

Natalie Portman cries a lot.

Who makes shittier movies, Guy Ritchie or Zack Snyder?

by Jason Brockert, from here.

Pakistan issues arrest warrent for Pervez Musharraf.

Whatcha thinkin’ about?

There’s a DuckTales comic coming out. How awesome is that?

Twitter, translations, and the new geopolitics.

The Onion’s AV Club interviews PJ Harvey.

Look at the trailer for this Dead Island game. I know nothing about this game, but based on this trailer, I want to play the fuck out of it.

Why the Oscars snubbed Christopher Nolan.

You rock, rock.

from here.

Why I want to fuck J. G. Ballard.

Maria Bello a reasonable replacement for Helen Mirren in the unnecessary remake of Prime Suspect?

An underground village in France where people lived for hundreds of years.

Jeff Mangum is touring.

Billy Ray Cyrus blames the Devil and David Lynch for his problems.

Facebook’s growing web of frenemies.

Justina Bieber doesn’t believe in abortions, even in the case of rape. Man… whatever.

from here.

Michael Emerson to star in Person Of Interest, the CBS pilot from J.J. Abrams and Jonah Nolan about predicting/fighting future crime.

Pitchfork gave the new Mogwai album a 6.6.

Top 10 famous people who didn’t actually exist.

Donnie Darko‘s Richard Kelly to do a normal, traditional thriller next.

What would Hüsker Dü?

There’s a campaign to replace the N-word in Huckleberry Finn with “robot.”

“I would sum up my fear about the future in one word: boring. And that’s my one fear: that everything has happened; nothing exciting or new or interesting is ever going to happen again … the future is just going to be a vast, conforming suburb of the soul.”

-J. G. Ballard

I like and respect Jill Thompson’s visual take on Wonder Woman.

Speaking of which, Adrianne Palicki is the new Wonder Woman (in that David E. Kelley TV pilot).

…and here is the audition tape for Tanit Phoenix, who didn’t get the role, that shows how obsessed the pilot script seems to be with breasts.

Iain Sinclair on J.G. Ballard’s favorite artwork.

The underage cast of MTV’s Skins pose in their skimpies in Elle. Now go crazy, people.

The age of consent around the world.

“The businessmen drink my blood just like the kids in art school said they would…”

The guy who was raised by cats.

from here.

…I discovered not what I’d call my favorite new twitter account, but certainly my favorite new weird twitter account: OMG Facts SEX. It’s an offshoot of a site called OMG Facts, and there’s other categories as well, including: OMG Facts ANIMALS, OMG Facts CELEBS, and OMG Facts SPORTS. Be careful not to mix all four of those together or you might have a real party on your hands.

Here are some selections from the OMG Facts SEX twitter…

from here.

White women with a college degree are the most receptive to anal sex. 30% of U.S. males have had a homosexual encounter. Outside of the bedroom, the most common place for adults in the U.S. to have sex is the car. A woman’s least favorite spot for sex is the car. Nearly a quarter of mental health professionals have had sexual contact with their patients. Masturbation is more common among white-collar workers than blue-collar workers. Otters can get herpes. Rasputin was famous for having a 13 inch penis.

from here.

Condoms as we know them didn’t appear until 1878. 1 in 4 women can’t name all of their past lovers. The punishment for bestiality in the Middle Ages was for both you AND your “partner” to be burned at the stake. Leonardo da Vinci was bi (probably). When a single women and a married man have an affair, 70% of the time the man ends it. The word “gymnasium” comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means “to exercise naked.” A male fetus is capable of an erection in the last trimester. Redheads are the least popular call girls.

from here.

The name Venerial Disease comes from the latin phrase meaning “the sickness of Venus” (goddess of love). Women are most likely to want to cheat when they are ovulating. Most turkeys and giraffes are bisexual. The average speed of ejaculation is 28 miles per hour. Sex is a natural antihistamine, it can help combat asthma and hay fever. During 30 minutes of active sex, the average person burns around 200 calories. When women orgasm, the areas of the brain associated with fear shut off. One in every four Americans is “too tired” to have sex.

In Nevada, prostitution is only legal in towns with a population of less than 2000. Women who went to college are more likely than high school dropouts to enjoy giving oral sex. 34% of first kisses happen at a party. Mariah Carey likes to wear her shoes in bed while having sex. A Scottish study found that following sexual release, people had an easier time with public speaking. More women talk dirty during sex than men. Readers of Cosmopolitan said that they’re more turned on by music than pornography.

The can find the first part up there but here is: Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, and Part 8.

Found here and here.

I think it’s important to mention that Hitchens won, by the way. It’s nice that reason and intellect and win, even if it’s just once.

…from Sunday’s season finale of The Venture Bros., “Operation P.R.O.M.,” as discussed here.