This is a picture of the cast of Mad Men:

This is a picture of Morgan Freeman with some cotton candy:

This is a picture of the female leads from the new film, Snow White And The Huntsman:

This is a picture of Lindsay Lohan back in the day:

This is a picture from the last episode of Community prior to their triple header season closers:

This a picture of the leads from Unforgiven just palling around:

This is a picture of Nancy Reagan, Warren Beatty, and Diane Keaton just palling around (but I originally thought that was Franzen):

This is what Rory Gilmore looks like now:

Here’s a picture of Tyler Perry as Alex Cross from the upcoming titular movie, having taken over the role from Morgan Freeman:

Here’s a picture of Matthew Fox as the villain in that film:

Here’s another:

For some reason, Ed Burns is also in this movie, and here’s a picture of him:

Ditto for Rachel Nichols:

And here’s one last picture of Matthew Fox in the film:

KATE! WE HAVE TO GO BACK!

And after this, it’ll be 98…

Easily one of this show’s “instaclassics,” right? Pretty much on par with last season’s “The Suitcase.”

It especially fascinated me because it was a Pete-centric episode, especially since Pete was always my least favorite character. For the first season, he was the show’s villain du jour around the office, and his whole personality was always designed for you to love how much you hate him. Plus, I despised the actor by association of his character on Angel. And yet Pete is one of the realest depictions of what it’s like to work in an office like Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce and try to stand beside the towering monolith of all things awesome which is Don Draper and try to survive with the comparison.

I think once upon a time Peggy was also that character for us, young and hungry, trying to learn from Don and become like him, to become something in the advertising industry in the 60s, to be admired by peers and to leave the office each day with some self worth, but I think that’s beyond Peggy now. Or, rather, Peggy is beyond that. I think the show’s done a pretty good job now at showing that whatever Peggy’s destiny is, it’s not to become the next Don Draper. It’s to become something different, something new in the changing world that Mad Men teeters on the brink of.

And then there’s Pete. And Lane. Two guys who will always be fish out of water, who work hard, but can’t shake the fact that they feel they’re owed some other kind of respect. There’s struggles and there’s loneliness and there’s a lot of stabs in the dark at connections with people that ultimately fail. And then there’s the loneliness again, and the passage of time and the moments that always slip away. This show is so good at showing at time is always moving, always getting away from you.

There’s an expression that I always used to hear as a kid (far too much, in fact) that went like this: “God always answers your prayers, but He does so in the order in which they’re received.” Once upon a time, Don Draper’s confident, self-assured life looked perfect to Pete. The wife, the kids, the suburbs. Pete went out and got that for himself, without taking the time to appreciate it, and now it feels even lonelier. Don’s happy little life slipped away from him and he found himself another one.

And again all Pete can do is look over there, angry and envious, feeling as if he has nothing, and therefore is nothing.

The only thing I think that Pete Campbell/Theon Greyjoy wants to be more than Don Draper is not himself.

He’s a guy from a family that once had privilege, but they gave it all away. Probably because they figured that they were sitting on an endless supply of it. Sadly, Pete inherited a lot of that thinking. And now he’s either out there, acting without thinking, trying to claim what he feels should have always been his, or he’s left alone, so alone, sitting on top of a mountain of thoughts about how everything should be is and yet, somehow, is not.

There’s something just amazing about this past episode to me. The rhythmic moving of the teenage girl’s sandaled feet, keeping in time with the dripping of the kitchen faucet that haunts Pete, keeping in time with the ticking of the clock. There’s a man on a clocktower picking off pregnant women with a rifle, and Pete’s life is mired with echoes and ghosts, all visible but intangible, all tasting of ash.

And his former enemy, Ken Cosgrove, having himself surrendered in their rivalry, and somehow still doing better and happier with a successful career as a sci fi writer and married to TV’s Alex Mack. Kenny Cosgrove turns his dinners into drinks and he still finds time to write about robots who repair bridges, and meanwhile neither Lane nor Pete can maintain the ones they hope to link them to their fellow men. How can Pete learn to drive if everywhere he’d drive to is the same old shit that he brings himself wherever he goes? How much more irony and neat little metaphors can be packed in here?

I could go on and on, but bottom line: It was good. The episode had a sort of mesmerizing quality about it. The noble sadness of the normal guy, who is doomed to never appreciate what he has and something, something, something about a dog with two bones. Nice direction by John Slattery and an excellent script co-written by the writer of Dog Day Afternoon and Cool Hand Luke, I chuckled when I heard “Ode To Joy” playing.

Just like this season of Game Of Thrones continues it’s not too subtle quest to define power and where it comes from, the characters of Mad Men are just struggling to keep a little of it for themselves. Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future. They keep foreshadowing the death of Don Draper, which, in Mad Men language, I presume, will mean that someone close to Don will die this season rather than Don himself. No one wants to see Don Draper dead but we’d all like to see Don Draper deal with a loss so close to home, or so work, or to wherever his interior self lies.

So much of Game Of Thrones‘ story lays in its past, but the TV show nor the books (I’m only like 200 or so pages into the third book so careful on the spoilers, please) want to go back there. Mad Men will do flashbacks, sparingly, but it’s just to show you how much can change in so little time. The point of both shows is the same: This train is not stopping. It only goes faster. And we’re heading into the future.

One minute your dad is the Hand of the King and the next minute he’s getting his head chopped off and the sons of bitches all have crossbows pointed at you.

One minute every thing is fine and dandy at the whorehouse a few blocks from here and then the next a life, a marriage, and the hopes at landing that contracted are ruined by some bubblegum found on the pubis and we can only settle this one way…

Like men. In the medieval ways that we think men are supposed to act.

It’s hard to put one foot in front of the other when you have no idea where you’re going and no idea what you want out of the journey.

About fucking time, right? Bring on the cure for the common television show.

All I know about tomorrow’s episode is that it’s two hours long and supposedly called “A Little Kiss.” Other than that, I’ve maintained a blissful sense of being unaware… What will year will the show be in when it returns? Will Don have finally married his secretary, or even still be married to her? What will be up with Peggy, and Pete, and the rest of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce? Will Joan’s husband have been killed in Vietnam yet? And, sigh, what will be the state of Betty Draper?

Those, of course, are just a few of the burning questions. And oh, how they burn.

I don’t have the answers to any of those questions, not yet anyway. And I guess you could say that I’m ready to be hit over the head here.

Until then though, this is talking about some previous Mad Men episodes and other Mad Men Mania:

“Tomorrowland.”

The intoxicating weirdness of Jon Hamm.

“Christmas Comes But Once A Year.”

“Public Relations.”

The timeless wisdom of Marshall McLuhan.

“Shut The Door. Have A Seat.”

The Dream Of The Fisherman’s Wife and the art fetish of Burt Cooper.

“The Grown-Ups.”

“The Gypsy And The Hobo.”

“The Color Blue.”

“Wee Small Hours.”

…and many, many more.

Anyway, we’ll definitely be watching tomorrow. And we assume you will too. See you in the future.

Well, I feel like “could not be more excited” might be inaccurate, so let that instead something along the lines of: This is something I need in my life right now. Also, the world/the country might need it in their lives as well. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus too, because her career deserves to survive the post-Seinfeld curse.

I never saw any of The Thick Of It, unfortunately, but In The Loop was so good, that I’m excited to see the same thing come to America, which was shown to be work just as well in that form, as presented by In The Loop.

In fact, I really hope that Anna My Girl! Chlumsky’s character in Veep is the same character from In The Loop, just a few years later and with a better job, and that the show exists in the same “universe,” because then there’s a good chance for an appearance by Peter Capaldi’s Malcolm Tucker.

And also, the timing is right for a show like this in this new post-Sarah Palin world and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and with the primaries, and it being an election year and blah blah blah blah blah. And mainly: It wouldn’t kill us to have some good shows to care about again.

Clarification is always necessary. If you hold the viewpoints of one of the things on this list, or you sorta liked or kind of agree with some of the things mentioned, it doesn’t mean you irrecoverably have bad taste. But you might.

“Bridesmaids” is Oscar-Worthy

A thoroughly lazy and mediocre comedy. Too long, too many stretches where you feel like you’re watching a tossed-out SNL sketch idea get beaten into the ground. I probably wouldn’t hate this movie so much if it weren’t for the ridiculous praise it gets from lazy bloggers and media people. Oscar-worthy? Be fucking serious. There is a fallacy I see a lot of writers fall into, especially those writers who live in LA, where when something is successful its inherent quality becomes this unquestionable given. This is not a well-made movie. It’s standard Apatow hackery, just with more girls this time. And put away your aspirations of Feminism, it’s a movie about weddings and stupid wedding bullshit, about as gender-stereotyped as you can get.

So is “Drive”

This movie reminded me so much of all the bad LA crime film knock-offs that exploded out of the woodwork in the mid-90s after Pulp Fiction came out. Oh look, it’s a an overly-stylized troubled anti-hero in a cliched heist plot where there’s lots of over-the-top violence and some scenery chewing by cast-against-type comedy actor playing a mob bro. But the main guy doesn’t talk much, cause the director read a book about Sergio Leone once! And there’s an against-the-grain soundtrack! And… … Why the hell are so many critics in love with this movie? I’m baffled. The visual style evokes a freshman film school student discovering the low-light setting on his Canon 5D. I really wanted to like this movie, but the longer it went on without any discernible substance, the less I did.

Andy Serkis deserves a nomination for “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”

No he doesn’t. Also, his Gollum was totally over-rated. If you think that’s good acting and not just scenery chewing, you’re probably amazed by the performances in high school plays too. Plus, he’s just providing a rough draft, there’s an army of animators and effects people working on every frame of his performance to make it better.

(Note: I did not see “Attack the Block” nor do I intend to, but judging by the way Harry Knowles and his acolytes gush about it, I’m just going to assume that it actually sucks.)

The Swedish version was better

No it wasn’t. It had all the quality and production value of a Lifetime channel movie. Noomi Rapace was a formulaic goth chick straight from central casting. You’re just saying that because you think pretending to like foreign films makes you more cultured. Fincher’s version is so well made that you kinda regret just a bit that his talents aren’t being put to use on better source material.

(The 2012 version of this is going to be “‘The Hunger Games’ is just a ‘Battle Royale’ rip-off.” It isn’t, and despite my distaste for Jennifer Lawrence, it will probably be much better than the supremely over-rated “Battle Royale.”)

The important new dynamic in modern human communication.

The first image (fucking finally) from Joss Whedon/Drew Goddard’s Cabin In The Woods.

Are wide male faces a predictor for unethical behavior?

James Spader is joining The Office, but not as the boss, not for long.

Zadie Smith turning to speculative fiction and sci fi.

Infidelity might just keep us together.

Spike Lee to direct the American remake of Oldboy?

Above: Katie West summer print sale.

An oral history of Explosions In The Sky.

Antonia Fraser and Harold Pinter.

The paradox that was G. K. Chesteron.

Don’t let them cut off your balls, boys.

At least Glenn Beck is gone from the airwaves.

An oral history of Michael Fucking Bay.

9 steps to foolproof outdoor sex.

“In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant…. My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known—no wonder, then, that I return the love. “

-Søren Kierkegaard

Harry Potter’s favorite magic potion is booze.

Speaking of which, some of your favorite fast food chains are now serving alcohol.

Also, the “experts” are now saying that some “light drinking” may be “safe” while you’re pregnant.

And: An oral history of the Harry Potter film series.

The evils of “like” culture.

“All I want is to have incredibly violent sex.”

from here.

Massive amounts of cheating discovered in Atlanta public schools.

Topless sunbathing in the bit city.

How Charlotte’s Web was conceived.

The perfect penis.

Alfred Hitchcock recalls working with Salvador Dali.

“You are a computer salesman – I am fucking JAMES BOND.”

Ours might not be a holographic universe after all

and this week we delve into…

23 Thoughts About The Mid-Season Finale of Doctor Who:

1. Well, the episode certainly felt epic as shit.

2. From the opening to the middle to the very end, I am starting to think that the biggest recurring flaw to Doctor Who, at least under the current creative administration, is the constraints of television. The rules, the limitations on time and budget, the fact that you can take the spectacle and the content only so far, and not much farther than that. This is a dumb question, I know, but how tremendously awesome would a Doctor Who movie written by Steven Moffat be?

3. In that thought though is the gist of my overall feelings about “A Good Man Goes To War.” There was not enough of certain things, like general story, for example, or time to get into and play with that story. It was nice to see the Doctor and his associates take on their enemies through cunning sneakiness and ambushery, but there was a lot of elements that we just didn’t have enough time to invest in. Like the idea of the angry Doctor at war, or the characters, like the thin/fact gay married Anglican marines, or even Lorna Bucket (the Amy Pond who wasn’t).

And then there’s River Song… Always the best part of any episode she’s been in before, yet here in the episode where we get her big revelation (or one of, more on that later), she just feels sadly… kind of tacked on, you know?

4. River Song is Cable from the X-Men. Only way hotter, of course. And minus the glowing bionic eye.

I mean… seriously.

I guess that means that Amy Pond is Jean Grey and Rory is Cyclops, which makes kind of sense, only with the Phoenix thing reversed for Rory as “the last centurion.” That’s some total nerditude for you.

Speaking of nerditude… For now reason at all, this:

from here.

5. Speaking of which… I love that Steven Moffat teased that Doctor/Amy coupling as the cause of the baby until the very last.

It’s fascinating (and fun, to me, I guess), but sooo verrryy Steven Moffat. A lot of what Russell T. Davies wrote had, at its heart, a goofy or a very sweet core. Moffat can do that too, but a lot of where his stories and characters come from seems to be rooted in sex. In something very naughty and very human, and I like it.

6. A moment ago I mentioned the first of River Song’s revelations, the biggest of course being who she is? But that’s kind of splintered into a second question of what she is? A la is she the Doctor’s  future girlfriend/wife? Or, other wife?

And who did she kill? Who was that very good man, a hero to many? Is he the same one who went to war here in this very episode, I wonder?

7. Also, during the ending there, was I the only one who felt for a moment there like they were implying that she was the Doctor from the future? What, with the Gallifreyan writing on the crib, his crib, that is supposed to reveal who she was, and his shock at the kissy kissy they’ve made in the past, and the question about how he looks. I mean, right? Who would make a better mirror for you other than yourself from the future?

I wonder if they’re going to suggest that at some point the Doctor has to have a hand in raising young River Song…

8. “Flesh Avatar.” That just sounds like a porn version of the Jame Cameron film.

I mean, right?

9. Good news: The show is definitely coming back for a seventh series/season and so is Matt Smith as the Doctor.

10. Bad news: It’s looking more and more like Amy and Rory will be leaving at the end of this series/season.

11. And them leaving does kind of make sense, regardless of what happens with the Melody Pond/River Song situation. Once you’ve gotten married, traveled through space and experienced everything that ever happened or ever will happen, then died a bunch of times, then lived for two millennium as a Roman centurion made of plastic, then had a baby in captivity that was fashioned as a weapon against your best friend, and then met that same child when they’re a badass doctor of archaeology… well, there’s not too many higher levels you can take it to from there, I’m guessing.

12. I guess, going back to questions/queries/complaints about this episode, that one of the bigger of those three things is who these villains are? Presumably this is the same militarized Church that we heard about in “The Time Of Angels,” and the Headless Monks were also mentioned first in that episode, I believe. And then there’s Madame Kovarian, whom we didn’t get too much info about, but who are these people, really?

Even though I felt like they didn’t do nearly enough with it, the alliance of baddies seen there at the end of “The Pandorica Opens” made sense. They were all recognizable villains and the cause for joining in together to take down the Doctor made sense from a certain perspective.

And how do the the Silence fit into all this (if at all)?

13. I’m a simple guy, but…

…the idea of a Sontaran breastfeeding a baby is one of the funniest things in the world to me.

Also, interesting that a nurse finally died in this episode, just not the one we were expecting.

14. Now, again, while I felt like it was odd to put the thin/fat married gay Anglican marines in the episode for a bit of exposition and then a tragic death that you didn’t have much time to ponder over, nor car about, on the other hand, the gay couple that I did fall in love with this episode was…

Fuck yeah.

And no, it wasn’t just because everyone likes fictional lesbian power couples. At least, I don’t think so. But come on, just imagine a spinoff about an interspecies lesbian couple that hunts Jack The Ripper with swords in Victorian times. That would blow Torchwood out of the fucking water.

from here.

15. I read somewhere that Captain Jack Harkness was intended to make a cameo if nothing else in this episode but it couldn’t be worked out because of Torchwood now filming in America. Too bad considering that Captain Jack is always better back at home in Doctor Who.

16. Also, Fuck Yeah Catrin Stewart!

When they released a picture of her character in “A Good Man Goes To War” a while back and listed the character’s name as Jenny, people just freaked out. The return of the Doctor’s daughter! But recast! Had that been the case, though a highly unlikely case though it would’ve been, it would’ve made a little bit sense since I believe that Georgia Moffett is currently super pregnant, right?

Also, concerning Catrin Stewart: I think I’m in love with a girl who will never like me back. Equal parts that she is probably gay and also because she is fictional. Sigh. Isn’t that how it always goes? People are always telling me that I should watch Misfits and I think I heard she was in an episode, so maybe that’ll happen now.

17. Steve Wonder sang in 1814, but shhh, we must never tell him!

18. It’s River Song’s birthday. And the day she was born!

19. Running, both in fear and in excitement, makes a recurrence yet again, but so does the idea of a separate war between the head and the heart.

20. Some fun facts about Frances Barber, who plays Madame Kovarian: She’s previously dated Danny Boyle and her best friend is Ian McKellen, who had built a library in India in her name.

21. This:

Also: this. If, for nothing else, for the musical choice.

22. Maybe I’m weird, but I’m always fascinated at the teasing of the Doctor’s dark side. Especially this season I’m always curious to see more from him than the excited manchild adventurer. I think Matt Smith does that very well but I guess I just like seeing him take it darker or playing the character as the demented old man that he really is. Its’ a rare thing.

So I was especially intrigued by that brief moment when River Song did finally show up at the end of the episode and he tore into her. No “Spoilers!” and no “Hello, sweetie,” just anger and reality checks. It was certainly a lot more raw than what we saw him give Colonel Runaway earlier in the episode. For an episode about the Doctor finally unleashing and going after his enemies for a change, I think it’s surprising that, as one reviewer of the show already put it online, David Tennant’s Doctor already got angrier most weeks, and usually with even less in the way of provocation.

I like the idea of Matt Smith sticking around for a while, but it makes me laugh to think that perhaps the next Doctor could have some ferocity to him, like a young Ray Winstone or Ian McShane, that kind of quality. I’d like to see a Doctor who could terrorize the paint off of walls with just the sound of his voice, I think.

22A. I mentioned the RTD era earlier, and he did correctly posit that the Doctor turns people into weapons as he needs them, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I think a lot of people really wanted Moffat to just throw out so much of what Davies did previously but I think he actually did the smarter thing: He built on a lot of those concepts and followed them to their next stages.

Especially here with the idea of people being turned into weapons to be used.

23. I watched this episode last Saturday, but have just kind of let this post slide til now, unfortunately. Partly because of a busy personal life, whatever that is, but honestly also because I’ve not been entirely sure what to say, or at least in the sense of focusing down to some key points. Only seven episodes into this season and it’s already been a wild ride and the several months between us and the rest of the season could not expire fast enough as far as I’m concerned. In fact, if I did have a time machine, I’d already be in the middle of episode 8. I guess I’ll see you there.

Next time: See you again in a couple months’ time and then “Let’s Kill Hitler!”

This is going to be awkward.

Jon Hamm will direct Mad Men‘s season 5 premiere (in 2012).

Terrorist “pre-crime” detector field tested.

The wisdom of crowds is a dangerous, stupid thing.

Of course Annie Hardy has a tumblr.

Important news: Ciara likes being naked.

Michael Jackson’s daughter is going to be a star some day.

Idris Elba is so hot right now.

Pictures from here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Food prices will double by 2030.

Here’s that Jonathan Franzen link that every other fucker has posted somewhere on your facebook, tumblr, twitter, or whatever.

Copanhagen suborbitals upcoming launch attempt in June.

Kevin Fanning on the daily commute.

Read more about that terrible sounding Wonder Woman pilot.

To the blogger who thinks saying “fuck” means I’m dumb.

An excerpt from Mindy Kaling’s new book.

The Hangover Part II has to be the laziest fucking movie ever.

The gospel according to Bill Clinton.

In September, DC Comics will relaunch all their superhero titles with new #1s, other changes.

Here’s a wild new drug that you should surely know about: Oxi.

Michael Kupperman doing Mark Twain’s Autobiography.

Is Donald Sutherland the last person to join the cast of The Hunger Games or could there possibly be more?

Hip-hop loved Gil Scott-Heron.

A drug that could erase your memories of being afraid.

PBS website hacked with a story about Tupac still being alive.

Chemists discovered why Van Gogh’s yellows were fading; a Dutch ornithologist remained unsure whether the yellow breasts of great tits change with age but found that the offspring of older females are likelier to die young. In Finland, tawny owls were evolving from gray to brown and sperm quality in humans was deteriorating. Religion was going in extinct in the Czech Republic. A sacred soft-shelled turtle in Hanoi, one of only four species left in the world, was gravely ill yet continued to evade capture. A female mite preserved in amber with her mate was observed to have been controlling the terms of their copulation. Florida could be up to 50 percent older than previously believed. Astrobiologists hypothesized that the first multi-cellular animal resembled cancer. Tonsillectomies make children gain weight. Weight-loss surgery makes children lose weight. Doctors touted the benefits of removing the gallbladder through the vagina. Texas scientists cut holes in the hearts of baby mice; the hearts then healed themselves.

The passages above are from the “Findings” section in the May 2011 issue of Harper’s and were written by Rafil Kroll-Zaidi.

See previously: here, here, here, here, and here.