Category Archives: Uncategorized

dollar dollar bill y’all!

Posted by Peanut St. Cosmo on

greetings peeps! i’m just sitting here on this chilly evening, pondering some interesting ponderings. do you even find yourself just drifting off into your own microcosm and think, “what if…?” yeah, me neither. but tonight was clearly a special night! and my little peanut brain went down all sorts of avenues……

yes. money. “cash rules everything around me” or c.r.e.a.m. as the wu-tang clan stamps on their cd. and it does. or at least, it seems to. but does it? does it really?

mmhmm

yes, evidence does seem to point to the fact that cash/currency is a commodity that people desire. it is a resource. it is why people go to college, try to get better jobs, lie, cheat, steal, kill even. but why? what does currency really mean anyway? does it mean you’ve achieved some sort of status?

i make it rain.

some people look at a LRG bank balance to mean that you’ve “made it.” others would look at food stamps and think  =( this is all relative. your pluses or minuses are a magical number given to you by an Automated Teller Machine or from your porn box that may from time to time deliver something with the name “red headed” your way. you fucking ginger lover!!!

it doesn’t seem to mean too much. not really. little (or largely) known fact, Ms St Cosmo is a college student. and being in a history class, Dr. Bro tells us we’ve been off this gold standard business for a looooong time. where does that leave money? a lot like it did back in the days of Alexander Hamilton and his federal plan. in short, (translation= could not find link to explain to you. i have no kung fu. frown.)  around 1790ish, hamilton was the secretary of state and the US was in a bad spot. the central government was weak, there was no national currency, there was no trade overseas as there was a massive debt due to the american revolution. in order to get the US back on the right track, hamilton began paying war bonds (and others stuffs) in a new federal currency. the currency would only hold value as long as the US government stayed strong. therefore, currency was faith based. this happens again later in history…..

paper? paper?? sorry, i said i wanted gold bricks!

according to internets research, the official term for our money system today is “fiat.” so what does that mean to you? to me? to the rest of our monetary hungry world?

doom. maybe?

yeah maybe. if faith in currency fails, it indicates faith in our central government will not be far behind. and if that happens, i’m thinking good old anarchy might show it’s head. would this be a good or a bad thing? hmmm….back to reality i guess….

i choose to remain terminally chill.

Posted by Peanut St. Cosmo on

greetings peeps! Peanut St Cosmo here has been on a journey. it was a lengthy and worthwhile journey. i wish i could tell you all about it, but i fear you’re not quite self actualized enough for it, and that’s really not your fault. it’s not, but i do feel for you as best as i can in my chilly little unfeeling heart. but what does tingle in that little freezer chamber is missing you all. yes i did, and to toot my own horn to announce my return, i bring you……..!

this tween makes lil wayne nervous.

that’s kind of a lie. i have no intention of tackling this one, mostly because he scares me. he looks like a standard teenager dying to get to first base….but underneath that strategically messy hair lies something far more dangerous! i have something more powerful than facts, i’ve got a man that is sorry for wasting your time!

i spy a popped collar!

alas, i don’t have glenn beck either, nor do i want to. what i do have is a little section on a little topic called “chillwave.” your first question might be, what the fuck is chillwave? well reader, that’s a great question. i only kind of have the answer, but being a “red blooded” american male-ish, i will act like this is fact!

in my recent research of this topic, i have found a few things. “chillwave” has been around since the early 2000s it seems and i some how hit the snooze button on that one until recently. and what defines it and gives it that solid foundation to stand on still seems to be out to lunch. but one person that does seem to have that finger on it’s little PBR drinking pulse. whether it is a person/place/thing/giraffe.

it seems to be a blog worth blogging about!

this carlos bro has been the writer since my times of reading this gem, but our chillwave questions go unanswered. perhaps we shall never know, like exploring a long lost civilization with no written records?? that would be a shame to wrap up a “come back” blog in such a fashion.

i wish i could give you all answers, but maybe instead of being your “educator” in chillwave, i can be your “facilitator.” until next time…..

“procrastination is our substitute for immortality”

Posted by Peanut St. Cosmo on

it’s getting late here on counterforce. a wee bit late. because websites, they live on time. just like the rest of us. but i was doing a little bit of reading on a little bitty website that became a little bitty book. (yes, i’m off meds. no, i can’t help what i’m saying.) on this grand little website, white people and non white people can take a gander at what funny little people we are. i say we, as i’m white. if you’re not white, that’s ok, imagine a white friend that’s a little weird and possibly has a small stick up there ass. see? isn’t that funny? that’s white people, by and large. really, it’s most people under 35ish. usually they’re unmarried, and living in a downtown-ish area. ok, so, i’m on this website and something just strikes a chord in my little white heart. it reminds me of a little book i read about a year, maybe two years ago…..

 

i'm the little pill in his weee tummy.

i'm the little pill in his weee tummy.

the post from the website brought me right smack back into this book. that, and i let my brother borrow the book and i’m curious of what his opinion will be. but the notion of the book is interesting. you can read about the author, and see where this altbro comes from, yada yada….but it’s more the story. this came out in about 2005ish. prescription drug commercials were all over television. erectile dysfunction and  overactive bladder became mainstream (hah!) and this was all kosher. even if you weren’t jewish. shalom!  

 

if you have an erection for more then four hours, call your doctor.

if you have an erection lasting more then four hours, call your doctor.

along with sexy time and potty time, comes happy pill time. this book is about a guy who was “phizered” and took a pill. he had a crappy job, a prescription, and the average big city life. big city life usually entails having a fat apartment with roommates you usually don’t know, a messy bathroom, drunken friday/saturday nights which go hand in hand with random hook ups with no real personal connection/intimacy. the main character in Indecision, dwight, has a girl that he remembers from long ago. one day, an opportunity presents itself for dwight to travel abroad (for a broad) and do some self discovery along the way.

midlife crises certainly are a bitch, aren’t they? some of us want to go get an education, get a big boy/big girl job, make our families proud, feel all self fulfilled and enlightened. things just don’t always fall into place. which leaves you stuck in that weird little triangle of suck.

 

don't expect good cell phone reception out here

don't expect good cell phone reception out here

so dwight tracks down his girl, packs his bags, and heads off somewhere with no idea of what to expect. for an anxious person like dwight, this is a big bold decision to make. now, i’m not going to go spoiling anything. that would be very messed up. on my little website mentioned above, there may even be a blog about it! i found the book to be a very quick read that i enjoyed, but not one that sneaks up on me to tug at me to read again. maybe it does, in a weird little way. the only thing that really stayed with me was dwight’s own loneliness and his crisis modes that struck him. his ideas of just running off to go get lost and maybe find yourself in the process, is very enticing. where and how we ever got lost, that’s hard to say. and you can’t type in coordinates on google maps and go from the happy tabula rasa to the well rounded sprout your parents evening with too much wine started in the first place.

 

i'll pull out in juuuuuuust a minute.....

i'll pull out in juuuuuuust a minute.....

leading to……

 

YOU ARE HERE, heading......?

YOU ARE HERE, heading......?

how to get from point A to B…..? yeah, ok, i don’t know the answer. clearly. crystal clearly. crystal light.

 

why? why? because i can!

why? why? because i can!

 

 

but hey….it’s an interesting book all the same. so i leave you with this. happy google-mapping! or crystal light-ing!

What You Can Do in Preparing for a Post Peak Oil World: Endtroducing…

Posted by Occam Razor on

We here at Counterforce recognize there are many reasons to fear tomorrow.  Terrorists living next door, government agents listening to your phone calls because there are terrorists living next door, climate change, Bravo’s never ending parade of reality competition TV shows based on the pastimes of homosexuals and the hags who love’em, a possible McCain presidency, a possible offspring of Madonna and A-Rod, a possible Bravo reality TV show based on Madonna and A-Rod raising said offspring (sure to feature lots of underwear swapping).  We also realize that some of you might need your worst fears assuaged and advice on how to cope with these coming atrocities.  Well, we’re sorry but you’re a big boy/girl and you’re just gonna have to learn how to deal with it.

 

…

 

We’re sorry, that was mean.  We’ll tell you what, to make it up to you we have invited world renowned Zoologist, European playboy and World Champion Gitin’r Doner, Occam Razor, to write a weekly column on what you can do in preparing for a Post Peak Oil World, titled What You Can Do in Preparing for a Post Peak Oil World.  Occam suffers fools lightly and will not be taking any questions at the end of each column.

 

…

 

It's obvious, really

It's obvious, really

“What is Peak Oil?” is what you’re probably asking yourself.  No doubt breathing heavily from the mouth even though you’ve been sitting down for the past 3 hours, furrowing your brow in a vain attempt to understand what the adults are talking about.  Well thank god for the web 2.0 because I don’t want to have to waste my time to explain it all to you, so go look it up on wikipedia already.  I’ll sit here waiting, identifying a new species of Marmota.

“Peak oil is the point in time when the maximum rate of global petroleum extraction is reached, after which the rate of production enters terminal decline.”

 

It’s kind of a “oh, fuck, I never thought of that!” concept.  But my friends, fossil fuels are not limitless.  Some kind of prehistoric algae pooled up a couple million years (and since it was prehistoric algae it was probably like 6 feet tall or something) got trapped by tectonic plate movement and millions of years later Jed Clampett went ahuntin’ and the Industrial Revolution was born.

 

A generic picture of an oil rig

A generic picture of an oil rig

Not only are fossil fuels a finite resource, but it’s very clear that at some point it will cost more energy to grab at the last few drops than will be gained from those last few drops.  And so Peak Oil represents that point when oil is no longer cheap and marks the beginning of what everyone’s favorite asshole James Howard Kunstler calls The Long Emergency, a time without all of the modern conveniences afforded by cheap oil. 

 

“Well, when will Peak Oil happen?” you blather about and I respond, “You’re awful mouthy!”  But after I collect myself and refocus my chi, I have to tell you the world’s most expert geologists predict that Peak Oil will happen in December 2005.

 

Oh shit, it’s already the Summer of 2008, huh?  Well I guess the coming winter’s $6 a gallon gas prices shouldn’t be too shocking.

 

Think of some aspect of your life that doesn’t rely on fossil fuels.  I’m going to stop you right there and say, nothing.  Nothing in your life is free from fossil fuels.  Maybe sleeping, but you seem like the kind of person who needs lot’s of drugs to doze off, and those are manufactured in a factory and then shipped by a truck to a store, so yeah.  Shit, even taking a shit requires fossil fuel.  One of the first maxims of urban development was “shit rolls downhill,” which is a way of remembering how to properly plumb a residence to ensure proper sanitation in crowded spaces.  That’s why no one fears cholera, anymore.  Yet now developers are so concerned with maximizing every square inch of land they’ll place residences at the bottom of hills even though the main sewer line is at the top and “fix” that problem with gas powered pumps.

 

This explains everything

This explains everything

Kunstler kalls it the Long Emergency because the loss of knowledge over the past 60 or 70 years will lead to some serious problems when there’s no gas to shoot our poop uphill.  And that’s where this column steps in, it’s about what you can do in preparing for a post peak oil world, that’s why it’s titled What You Can Do in Preparing for a Post Peak Oil World.  Starting next week we will be getting our hands dirty making sure we know where to aim our poop and how to live without convenient access to blenders.

 

Next Week:  I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie:  Knock Kneed Bimbos Have No Place In a Post Peak Oil World.