There was a year, probably the year that Return Of The King and the third Matrix movie came out, where I kept hearing the same tagline: “Everything that has a beginning has an ending.” Talk about pompous and wanting to be epic (and falling short, especially that year). And yet, sadly, this phrase works for Lost, but maybe with some modifications: Everything that has a beginning, a middle, and an ending will end, but not necessarily in that order.
Fuck me, this has been a long time coming. It feels like those last few moments of “The Incident” ended a forever ago and we’re so close, and I’m freakishly excited. You know how you finally go on that date with that hot person and you’re nervous and you’re worried about having shit in your teeth or how your hair looks and are you funny enough? And you’re freaking out this date is just tanking (this is obviously a very cliched date, I know), but then that hot, amazing guy/girl says, “Hey, why don’t you come back to my place for a drinky drink?” I’m like that excited. That kind of excited with a mixture of a 100 Hiroshimas. So, you know, the return of this show on Tuesday night is serious business.
And let’s start looking back at how we got here, and how I could possibly be this excited as we begin looking at…
The 100 Greatest Moments of Lost!
PART ONE
100. Workman: “So are going to go back and kill Hitler or some crazy shit like that?” Marvin Candle/Edgar Halliwax/Mark Wickmund/Pierre Chang: “Don’t be absurd! There are rules!” From the season 5 opener, “Because You Left,” this is quite the meta statement. And I think it’s safe to say that Miles’ dad is one of Counterforce’s favorite characters.
99. Ben ditches the sling after the Ajira 316 crash in “Namaste.” This is a personal favorite of Benjamin Light and Occam Razor, and makes you wonder if Ben’s broken arm could be fixed after such a short time back on the Island or were his injuries just another ruse?
98. Jack shoots the oil cans in “The Variable,” while loading up on guns with Faraday and Kate before heading out to see the Others. Jack in 1977, when not making sandwiches and doing janitorial duties, is pretty nuts, man.
97. Regina (stunt woman Zoe Bell) kills herself on the Galaga. (Sea madness!)(Or, is it… time madness?)
96. Locke breaks his leg on his fall towards the frozen donkey wheel/meets with Christian/Smokey down there in “This Place Is Death.” The sound is so visceral and you feel Locke’s pain as he struggles to get up and move to that wheel, to pull it, and then… “Say hello to my son!”
95. “WAAALLLTTTTT!!!” from “Adrift.” I remember this annoying the shit out of me all 700 times that Michael screamed it out, but it clung to the inner walls of my memory like a tattoo.
94. Locke meets young Charles Widmore in “Jughead.” This moment, to me, is classic Locke, the man who deals with obstacles, but considers no one his enemy. Has any of the other characters met this 17 year old piece of snot who would cause them so many troubles in the future, they’d probably kill him. But not Locke. Once he learns the young man’s identity, he unleashes that trademark smirk. When asked what the name means to him, Locke merely replies, “Nothing. Nice to meet you.”
93. Jack and Sawyer’s poker game in “Lockdown.” It doesn’t take long before Kate, who’s watching the whole game, appropriately adds, “Should I get a ruler?”
92. “I screwed her, man.” From seeing who has a bigger dick to this, this touching confession that Sawyer makes to Jack about Ana Lucia in “Three Minutes” is some damn near heartwarming potential bromancery, right?
91. Rose and Bernard re-united in season 2′s “Collision” after 50 days apart.
90. Kate and Jack’s hate sex encounter the night before Ajira 316.
89. Jack’s “I married her!” line to Desmond in “Orientation.”
88. Jack and Kate get caught in a net. Why is this one of our favorite moments? Because of the SEXUAL TENSION! Duh. And it’s kinky.
Also, I’m gonna cheat here a bit and declare lucky #88 a TIE with another of my favorite moments: the scenes between Jack and the then (and still, as a lady sometimes should be) Juliet in the aquarium in “A Tale Of Two Cities.” Jack is held captive, at his wit’s end, his entire being frayed and stressed to the limits, and there’s Juliet, with the face of an angel, pushing him just a little further. It’s an amazing mash up of smoldering and vulnerability and one of several examples I would provide to anyone foolish enough to tell me this show isn’t sexy. (Another example would be #90, obviously.)
87. Sayid, in the rain, with a gun, from season 1′s “Homecoming.” Ethan is back and he’s threatened to kill someone every day until Claire is returned to him, so our 815ers form a posse to take him down. And of course Sayid is the badass Angel of Death.
86. Phil gets killed during “The Incident.” This guy was a serious itch in second half of season 5 and then they scratched it.
85. Karl and Rousseau are killed by Keamy and the mercenaries at the end of “Meet Kevin Johnson.”
84. Ana Lucia and Goodwin face off in “The Other 48 Days.”
83. Jin and Mr. Eko hiding from the Others, in season 2′s “…And Found,” and those bizarre glimpses of dirty bare feet, and teddy bears being dragged along, further tantalizing the mysterious of who the fuck are these people?
82. Hurley is writing The Empire Strikes Back in in “Some Like It Hoth.”
from here.
81. “He walks among us, but he is not one of us.” It’s what it says, but it’s not what it means,” Jack, from “Stranger In A Strange Land.”
80. Sayid hears the mysterious whispers while escaping Rousseau in “Solitary.”
79. Jack and Kate’s conversation in the Others’ rec room in “The Man From Tallahassee.” Just another link in the long chain that has been the Jack/Kate/Sawyer/Juliet/Ana Lucia love “triangle.”
78. Faraday sends the message to the future via Desmond’s head and his being an exception to “the rules” referred to at#100 at the end of “Because You Left.”
77. Jack gets to see the Red Sox win the world series in “The Glass Ballerina.” This is a simple but powerful moment that shows why Lost is more than just some gimmicky show, taking a simple line of dialogue from season 1 about Jack’s dad’s baseball team, the Red Sox, always the team of losers, and showing that sometimes losers can win. Emotional resonance!
76. Nadia the cat silently judges Sayid at the end of “Enter 77.”
See you tomorrow with PART 2!
Everyone knows this is nowhere, Faraday.
Uh huh.
The sad thing is… 
Little Charlotte. Man, what a heartbreaking scene, especially since you knew Faraday wanted to avoid it, yet just had to end up here. Predestination is a bitch (just like Charlotte will grow up to be). And as much as Faraday wants to break free from this chain of events, he justifies to himself that he has to have this conversation with her. If she doesn’t leave the Island before the Incident, she’ll never grow up to live the life she had, so he’s faced with the impossible choice: Have her die on the Island as a little girl in just over four hours or have her die in his arms kinda sorta 30 years later.
Jack! He doesn’t actually do any drinking in this episode and he starts to shake off that post-pills daze he’s had all this year so far (part of me wonders if his confrontation with the drunken mess that is Roger Linus puts Jack permanently back on the wagon)(or is it off the wagon?)(whatever), and quite possibly (at least, according to the previews for next week’s episode) starts to hunt down that destiny he was promised.
“Luke, I am your father.”
“Miles, I’m your daddy, lost in time and space.”
“Roger… Jesus. You suck at life.”
Seriously.
I’m totally bringing you into the circle of trust with some quick thoughts on the episode:
Miles. Charlie 2.0, I dig you. You’re a bit of a smart ass, but some of your cutting remarks are sharp and well placed. I think the revelation of what exactly the $3.2 million was about was very interesting (and last season, we all had to know that that figure was some kind of code), and I’m glad we finally got to see your super power in action a little more. And though I was excited to see it last year, clearly it makes much more sense this year in the death and resurrection season. Also, in the picture above, Miles is obviously pondering whether or not Hurley’s sandwiches are as good as Jack’s.
Kate. I know I beat up on Kate a lot whenever I have to talk about her, but to be honest and fair, I really only do so because it’s easy and she tends to deserve it. Sorry, Kate. I believe that you’re a smart woman, strong and capable, and a skilled criminal and resourceful when it comes to getting out of tight jams, and yet… WTF was your thinking when dealing with Roger? I hate to say it, but I think that 
Roger. Kill yourself. Or… just chill for another decade or two and go have a beer with your son to celebrate his birthday in your DHARMA van on a hill somewhere. That works too, man.
That guy Phil. I think the only person I want to see seriously injured more than this guy is Radzinsky, though that’s not going to happen for a while… Maybe not until “The Incident?” Hmm. (My new theory there is that Radzinsky doesn’t so much deep throat that shotgun as Kelvin just rams it into his mouth, because who could stand to spend five minutes in a room with that guy?) Either way. In addition to a season full of death and resurrection, this is also the year of Sawyer dishing out the hot, fresh man slap.
The Swan and…
The numbers. When Hurley witnessed that… What a chillingly effective touch, am I right?
Jack. If 
All the best cowboys have daddy issues.
Horace Goodspeed. You know, Horace, other than you and Pierre, none of you DHARMA people are really impressing me. I am quite frankly astonished that the Hostiles haven’t accidentally wiped you guys out yet. But still, I dig your style. Circle of trust. Nice.
Daniel Faraday. “Long time, no see” indeed. About time, man. I really liked Faraday’s character last year, but at the beginning of this season he really established himself as one of the characters to watch because, well, he had something so few of the characters are ever lucky enough to possess: the answers. Personally, I’ve really felt his loss this past season and can’t wait for Pierre Chang and him to get down into the Orchid and do some digging into that Frozen Donkey Wheel.
Hurley’s plan. Not only does this get the BIGGEST NERD WIN EVER, it’s kind of a genius notion. Watch out, 
Also, Ewoks. While I didn’t love them, 
Also, What lies in the shadow of the statue? It was 
NEXT WEEK: There’s like a special or something. Should be interesting, but ehhh, it’s just filler. BUT THE WEEK AFTER THAT: It’s Lost‘s 100th episode!
DHARMA Civil War, from the looks of it. And also cake!
But until then, remember… Whatever happened, happened!
I mean, right?
Predictably, since it was a Ben episode, we got a little more details, some holes filled in the various back stories, and plenty of fodder for future speculation.
Some quick thoughts:
Locke. Granted, it’s a Ben episode, but I really dig the “new John Locke” that we’ve been seeing post-resurrection. He’s more serene, operating with more of a purpose, and appears to have a Nic Cage-sized sense of 
Ben. He’s always been a little more than just the villain of the piece, but now, I have to say that it’s riveting watching him constantly working his games on people and setting up his machinations. And Michael Emerson’s portrayal of this character is fascinating in that no matter how confused or thrown for a loop the character ever could be, you can tell that the wheels are always still spinning in his brain.
Sure, the guy’s always lying, but I think that 
Caesar. Ha ha.
Rousseau. Her encounter with Ben not only made me think that we may actually be done with her character now, but also makes me want to go back to season 2 and watch his first episode again. Lindelof wasn’t kidding when he teased that the two of them “had words” at some point in the past. Also, I think that 
Alex. Interesting how she became both Ben’s one decent quality (and you just have to be amazed that she was raised as well as she was, considering who her “dad” was) and seemingly that noose hanging over his head.
Richard Alpert, Benjamin Light’s 
Jacob! Seemingly, he and the Island are one in the same, especially if you wanted to use them in a sentence. So, If I were to say to you, “Jacob wanted me to kick you in the balls,” then you could easily just as well say, “The Island wanted me to kick you in the balls.” Also, Jacob seems to be the magic word to use in just about every situation. You’re pissed and want to know why I just kicked you square in your balls? It’s simple. Jacob wanted me to. Sorry. You can’t argue with that.
Charles Widmore. Well, Chuck here didn’t leave the way I was thinking he would (I was hoping for a turn of the frozen donkey wheel, after being tricked into doing it by Ben), but this was just as interesting. Of course, after the fiasco with the baby Alex situation, it didn’t seem like it would’ve been too hard for Ben to make quick business of him. Also, try to ignore that he’s seriously rounding up on how long he’s been trying to get back to the Island.
Also, it’s interesting to see the new guy playing the middle aged Widmore, who looks a lot like Alan Dale, especially with that wig they gave him. Of course, the guy who played teenage Widmore back in the 50s looked a lot like Alan Dale too. Oddly, teenage Widmore guy and middle aged Widmore guy look nothing alike. Let’s hope they do just as good with the actress coming in to play middle aged Eloise.
Annddd, I’m fascinated by the symbol on the vests of the Others guys who were escorting Widmore (don’t ask my why, but I got a total Nixon vibe in that scene) to the submarine, which also had the symbol on it. It seems to be based on
Desmond! A collective “Whew!” comes over the audience to find that his family and he weren’t violently murdered by Ben, even though I think Ben effectively got the revenge he sought against Widmore in the transaction. But also perhaps found a glimmer of a soul in himself too. And we got to see Desmond deserve a nice little beat down as well. I really want to go watch that sad little phone call Ben makes to Jack in “316.”
The Monster! Ah, the monster. They tell us over and over again, that it’s not a nanotech swarm (which I really want it to be even more now after having finished 
Also, like Locke, I think all the monster wanted was an apology and some remorse. And some undying fear of God loyalty for the new leader of the Others. And you know what? I think it’s going to happen.
Oh, and The Question: What lies in the shadow of the statue?
Ooooh. I think something very interesting it happening with the red shirts of Ajira flight 316. Perhaps their tiny brains are being taken over? Or perhaps, just perhaps, they aren’t there on accident and have something to do with the upcoming war that Widmore has warned us about. Plus, I love that Frank Lapidus enters every scene he’s in like he just stumbled out of a bender. If they only gave him a drinking scene with Desmond he’d be my favorite character.
Next week: Miles talks to dead people! (Spoiler: Naomi appears). Dr. Pierre Chang! Hurley (who also talks to dead people) and… what appears to just be some awesome good times with the DHARMA gang back in the 70s. That, or we’re going to outer space, brotha!
But tonight is the premiere of 
At Wonder-Con, Lollipop and August and I attended a panel promoting the show, but held by the makers of the Lonelygirl15 franchise, who were executing 
I love mysteries and horror movies, but I’ve always preferred the “slasher” films because, typically, you get that little bit of whodunnit involved. The mysteries are usually either retarded or too easy to figure out, but maybe that’s half the fun too. More so if they’re trashy. And this show just sounds like one of interesting ideas that can only be executed horribly. I’m watching the first few minutes of this as I type and aside from Final Girl to be Elaine Cassidy (who was wonderful in Atom Egoyan’s 
