The earth is doomed…

…yeah, but what else is new?

Mad linkage:

How to be a retronaut!

Superman is no longer an American citizen. Deal with it.

The uncensored version of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture Of Dorian Gray to finally be published.

How to build a religion.

They might actually release Joss Whedon’s Cabin In The Woods.

Lars Von Trier and the apocalyptic whimper.

Unlike with Natalie Portman, don’t expect a post here called “Who’s January Jones fucking these days?”

Budget cuts curtail the search for alien life out there. :(

Also, Natalie Portman’s dad self-publishes a novel about severed heads, stolen presidential embryos, and mysterious clones.

May Day, 1871: The day “Science Fiction” was invented.

Emma Watson leaves Brown.

Speaking of which, the new Harry Potter trailer is kind of epic.

Ayn Rand’s first love and mentor was a sadistic serial killer who dismembered little girls.

Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre: Honestly, who gives a fuck anymore?

Mitt Romney’s bullshit is back and it’s not off to such a great start.

RIP Joanna Russ.

Bessel beams are cool, but don’t actually exist.

FYI: It’s Walpurgisnacht!

Before he retires Steven Soderbergh will make Channing Tatum’s male stripper movie.

I don’t know where you are but summer’s here.

Is Netflix helping to reduce movie piracy in the United States?

Giant black holes discovered in the nuclei of merging galaxies.

An interview with Chuck Klosterman.

Big Boi and Modest Mouse are finally working together.

How bacteria could generate radio waves.

Iggy Pop was considered for a judge slot on American Idol and Fugazi may actually reunite some day.

Scientists create stable, self-renewing neural stem cells.

The 10 greatest apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic music videos.

All living humans are more closely related than you might think.

Vigilantes band together to protect NYC sex workers.

What can we learn by comparing the old and the new covers for the Left Behind series?

Unemployed ninja for hire.

from here.

Last night I had the strangest dream…

In the dream, it was the end of the world, or, well, it was the last night on Earth, and the following morning it was all going to end. In fire and flame, buried and suffocated in ash, or via instantaneous evaporation into total nothingness… the how I didn’t know. Things are vague in dreams. They change moment to moment and you just feel things, just know them. And I felt like it wasn’t this year, not 2011, but maybe it was next year, or maybe it wasn’t.

In the dream, some people had known that the end of was coming for a long time. The crazy people, we called them and always had, but they were the ones who had been having the dreams for years now. That’s how we all knew, every living thing on the planet, I mean, that’s how we knew that it was expiring the following morning: we had dreams. Most of us started having them about six months before that final night. In the dreams we were told that our time was finite and we woke up with the certainty of it. The sad, cold certainty of it.

We knew from the dreams and from intuition that most wouldn’t accept this, that there would be fights and attempts to stop it and plans concocted to spirit away or just generally save the human race, and that every effort must be made. But from the dreams we knew that all those plans would come up with nothing, all those efforts would be ultimately fruitless, and in the end… it would come down to the simple question of how would you want to spend your last night alive?

In the dream I had last night, I had tried to get in touch with my friends, but they were all on the other side of the world from me. Whoever they were and wherever I was, they were somewhere else. They had lives to finish living and people to wrap their existence up with. It was just me, me by myself, just as it had always been. And I was thirsty with nothing to drink in the house, so I went to a bar. There were strangers there living like there was no tomorrow, which was fitting because there would be no tomorrow, and everyone was laughing and talking and loud and very, very drunk. A band was playing. It felt like a celebration. The band wasn’t that great, but for the occasion, they were amazing. The music was so loud, so perfect. It felt like it wasn’t just coming from their instruments and their speakers and souls, but that it was coming from inside me. And they were playing this song:

This morning I woke up and the sun was shining. Dogs were barking down the street, my neighbor was mowing his yard, and car alarms were going off somewhere. And I had to pee really, really, really bad. For the briefest of moments, beyond anything else that could possibly be going on, it just felt good to be alive.

Think in images.

Three quotes from Vladimir Nabokov and a couple of pictures from the internet…

1. This:

from here.

“I know more than I can express in words, and the little I can express would not have been expressed, had I not known more.”

2. This:

by Matt Bors, from here.

“I don’t think in any languages. I think in images.”

3. This:

and this:

and this:

and also this:

Cats quoting Charlie Sheen! from here.

“Play! Invent the world! Invent reality!”

Ma-Sheen Man.

Continue reading

The year in pictures, part one.

…but not for much longer.

Midnight In Dostoevsky” by Don DeLillo, who has a new novel in 2010!

Plotting the ruination of Radiohead?

Lady Gaga and the Queen.

This is easily the film I’m most looking forward to next year.

2009 was the year to set aside childish things. Namely, the last eight years.

Putin to retire soon? “Don’t hold your breath,” he says.

“Like taking candy from someone who seriously likes candy.”

There’s always time in time and space to stop and smell the flowers.

from here.

There’s water on the moon!

What this decade has been lacking thus far: Authenticity.

Who’s your favorite Beatle?

The end of love, part one.

Person of the year?

Is this what the culture’s come to?

You know what, don’t answer that.

Going where others have gone before.

Iran pisses on itself just a little more.

“You better be in fear.”

If you are neighbors with Sarah Palin, I guess that puts you within visual range of Russia?

New terror in the skies?

First rap is dead, then love (part two)?

Serious contender for best picture of the year, right?

Both Winston Churchill and Pynchon love inherent vices.

LUV U, LILY.

MISS U, SWAYZE.

New Justice.

Hacker of the year?

Just think about all the sex you’ve had in the past year (or should have been having.)

MISS U, Batman (though not for much longer).

MISS/LUV U, Juliet.

Tiger Woods killed Brittany Murphy!

“Memes” and “Contraflow.”

I saw her again last night.”

Birds successfully begin phase one of their attack on humanity.

In the year full of recurring royalty and ending love affairs, of course the king of pop songs would die. Makes me want to scream.

Was 2009 the year of sci fi?

The end of love, part three.

To be continued!

NEVAR FORGET!

In honor of New York and the Pentagon. In honor of families and lives torn apart and fallen off the edge of the Earth. In honor of beer, barbecue, and children wrestling with each other in confederate flag diapers while their parents film it and make money on the internet. In honor of underage couples that get knocked up on shitty beer in the back of pick up trucks while listening to Toby Keith songs. In honor of those who think you shouldn’t elect a President with a middle name of “Hussein” because it marks him as a terrorist. For all of you patriots and winners… Continue reading

Don’t you forget about me.

My generation had to be taken seriously because we were stopping things and burning things. We were able to initiate change, because we had such vast numbers. We were part of the baby boom, and when we moved, everything moved with us.”

-John Hughes.

RIP John Hughes.

Before actually entering high school, having no older siblings, I really thought that high school was going to be a lot like it was depicted in John Hughes’ movies.

And in some ways, yeah, sure, it was.

But maybe not nearly enough. Though I chalk that up to the general corniness of the 80s where Hughes did his best work and literally created the model for the modern teen film that took “young adults” seriously. And at the same time let them have their world of escape.

Back in 1999, Hughes spoke to Premiere magazine about how when he first screened The Breakfast Club for Universal, the studio executives hated it. “They said, ‘Kids won’t sit through it. There’s no action. There’s no party. There’s no nudity.’ But they were missing the one really key element of teendom, and that is that it feels as good to feel bad as it does to feel good. At that age, I remember, many times, staring out the window and feeling sorry for myself. ‘The whole world is against me. Nobody understands me.’ It’s a lot of fun. One of the great wonders of that age is that your emotions are open and fresh and raw. That’s why I stuck around that genre for so long.”

I didn’t love Ferris Bueller’s Day Off like others did. Actually, I much preferred it’s 90s television update, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, but even I have to admit there’s something essential in the fantasy epic that is the life of Ferris Bueller, with his creepy best friend (who, once he gets down to the root of his problems, will become a much more interesting person than Ferris), and his incredibly foxy girlfriend who you know just has some kind of dangerous secret lurking beneath her sexy surfaces.

No bullshit: Mia Sara (though I was pretty crazy about Jennifer Grey’s character too) didn’t create them, but she certainly perfected both the ultimate girl masturbation fantasy of my early teens but also got me set down the possibly wrong path of the Hot, Cool Girlfriend Ideal, which, you have to admit, is at least more worthy than the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, right?

Drugs?

The death of John Hughes is absolutely heartbreaking. The fact that is was via heart attack is somehow poetically right. Think about this man and his oeuvre. And then try to think of another director who’s made the same quantity of harmless mainstream hits that can not only satisfy, but satisfy repeatedly, and have had a serious penetration of the zeitgeist.

A selection of his filmography as director (either as writer, director, producer, or some combo of the three):

The Breakfast Club.

Pretty In Pink.

Some Kind Of Wonderful (the reverse Pretty In Pink).

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Uncle Buck.

Weird Science.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

Curly Sue.

Home Alone.

If I had to place myself, and this is sad, I’d say that I was at the right age demographic to appreciate the first Home Alone, back in 1990, the year after Tim Burton’s Batman. How tragic is it that my first exposure to something like Weird Science – which, and let’s get this straight: I’m not claiming is a great movie, or that any of these are great by any means, but a movie of a certain kind of value – is through the USA TV show version with Vanessa Angel.

And now I live in a generation, the first of many, that won’t ever understand the appeal of someone like John Candy. With people like Chris Farley and those who may have succeeded that niche, something was diluted and lost. And will continue to be. I’m writing this post-dental surgery and earlier in the dentist’s office as I was waiting for the sadist’s gas to wear off, two of the hot nurses were actually discussing John Candy. One asked the other to name a single John Candy movie. The young woman thought for a moment and then said, “Canadian Bacon?” I was shocked that A) she actually remembered that movie of all movies, and B) that was the movie, to her, that was quintessential John Candy.

Without John Candy the John Hughes of the world are practically extinct.

The same for the Molly Ringwalds of the world. (Or pretty much the entire cast of The Breakast Club, but especially Judd Nelson.) The normal, awkward girl who could be cool. The everygirl (if you identified with her, as opposed to Ally Sheedy). And you could learn that inside every girl that you see at every high school has a whole world of tragedy and comedy and emotions and insight living inside her if you actually took five seconds out of your day to actually discover her. And if you did, you’d probably discover that she was just dying to give her panties to a geek.

And that’s where John Hughes came in, giving a voice to the often voiceless. Setting up a caste system in high school that’s imitated in almost every teen movie from then til now, from 10 Things I Hate About You to Disturbing Behavior to Mean Girls: That scene where a character has to intro us to the weird stereotypes and cliques that are absolutely “unique” to this school and this school alone. The brain/geek, the closeted Jake Ryan, the bad boy, the sportos and waistoids, the princess, the spaz and/or basket case, and he made none of them tragic nor heroic. He just made them as real as the cinema and the audience could stand.

Sometimes you kick…

…And sometimes you get kicked. Right, Michael Hutence? Right. You know, at the risk of revealing how horrible of a person I am, that’s the first thing I thought of – literally, it was the first thing to go through my mind – when I first heard about his death/suicide/autoerotic asphyxiation FAIL. Don’t believe me? Just ask this girl…

That may be the greatest trailer for a movie I’ve ever seen in my life. With a trailer that simple and that great, I’d even watch shit like Two And A Half Men.

I can’t back that up. I’d never watch that show voluntarily.

Anyways, today I am quite simply exhausted. You know what that means?

MAD LINKAGE!

Obama met with the four surviving US Presidents today.

The bees continue to disappear despite all the cocaine we’re giving them!

Joe the plumber, war correspondent? Sigh.

Tentacle UFOs!

Also, Tentacle Grape!

The Arctic is melting a little quicker than we expected. About twenty years earlier.

There’s something new for me to be terrified in the world of dating: Apophallation.

Henry Rollins loves Ann Coulter.

China and the human flesh search engine.

Wait, wait, I’m sorry, but… hentai soda?!

WTF? Okay, yeah, I’d probably try it. Whatever.

German Mayor has gone into hiding after Neo-Nazi death threats.

Desktop particle accelerators.

Man arrested after a dead 4 year old girl is found in his fridge.

Bird flu reappearing in Beijing and northern Vietnam… China, you are on fire today!

Naked Dancing Man. Police. Booze. Strategically placed sock. Thank you and good night!