Four letter worlds.

Opposites attract. Choices break down into either/or solutions. Family size buckets of chicken (and life long love affairs with such) and hot, raw existentialism. Secrets and lies. Love and dynamite. Ghosts and whispers and murderers and attempted murders. Crazy women and Scottish advice. Good and evil and Dostoevsky and Kierkegaard. Hate turns to love, and then to loneliness. And we go on a mission, we go sideways, and we go underground again…

All that and more on last night’s Lost, a Hurley episode appropriately entitled “Everybody Loves Hugo,” which is a nice callback to a similarly titled episode in season 2.

Man, where to start?

“Hey guys, I’ll be right back…”

How about with the departures and arrivals. The departures: Ilana. I suspected something bad was going to happen to here the moment she reminded Hurley for the nth time that she has been training for this job forever, but I didn’t expect her to go all ka-bloom-y a la Dr. Arzt. Wow. And who says this show doesn’t have some surprises left for us?

And then there was the return of Michael as the latest dead person to stop by and have a chat with Hurley about what should be happening next. An interesting, but paint by numbers guest starring role, and Michael answered one of our questions left from season one: What the fuck are the whispers?

So, one long popular theory about the Island is accurate enough: It is a kind of purgatory for the spirits of those who can’t move on. People like Michael and Jacob. But seemingly others, like Mr. Eko and Charlie, could move on and visit Hurley in the City of Angels?

Back to that in a moment because there’s still an intriguing question hanging over this final season: WTF is the Sideways world?

Because, while I loved the reappearance of Pierre Chang there, narrating another video for us, it recalls my question from the Sawyer episode: When did the Sideways world begin? Does it’s genesis lay with the explosion of Jughead back in 1977 and, if so, how did Pierre Chang escape grand zero and end up back in the real world?

Perhaps the answer lies with Desmond’s mission there in the Sideways world and the real one. And that mission is… to merge the two universes? To bring love into the hearts of the Sideways people? The funny thing is that the Sideways people really have the happily ever after world. Well, except for Charlie, but who gives a shit about Charlie. I mean, he’s alive, Claire’s out there somewhere and not crazy yet, and all you need to make the world bend to your will is just the smallest bit of opportunity and chance…

But again, I’m glad that a large part of the endgame rests with Desmond. He and Hurley have always been the heart of this show, and unfortunately, while Hurley may be the proxy for the fans, he’s also a bit on the boring as shit side. Maybe falling in love with a crazy woman will change that. Sometimes a lunatic really is what you’re looking for. I can’t imagine Desmond’s big role in all of this is just to play transdimensional cupid, but apparently “love” is a big part of the ending of this show. And perhaps that’s what will keep the “cork” in the metaphorical bottle.

But, if you ask me, it seems like a lot of these characters all in desperate need of a different four letter word to make their lives a little better.

Had to love the reference to the Human Fund at the beginning of the episode. Of course they want to honor Hugo Reyes. He’s probably their Man Of The Year.

Oh, hi there. We haven’t had anything to do for a while now.

Oh well. No more spinning of the wheels. Richard and Ben and Miles are off on what smells a lot like a suicide mission. Sideways Desmond is going around, giving things a little nudge (sometimes with the front of his car). Hurley is getting that long overdue picnic date with Libby. Jack has decided to let go and maybe not try to kill himself so much anymore. Island Desmond is going down the rabbit hole and we’ll see what we find there (because he was valuable and therefore a threat to the Man in Black?). Oh, and the mysterious boy is back…

Which, thankfully, means we’re inching closer and closer to that Jacob/Man In Black flashback/origin episode.

And finally all the 815ers, with the exception of Jin, are back together again, facing off. Next week should be interesting as things start to fall into place and everyone ends up where they belong…

May the Gods grant thee all that thy heart desires.

If I had a time machine, I’d travel to 2010 right this fucking second.

An abridged version of my reaction to the 4 minute pre-credits opening teaser to the episode: “Oh, hey, is that…?” “Well, look at that.” “Hmmm.” “I bet that’s… Oh, it totally is.” “Who’s this fucker? And who’s this other fucker?” “Are they… Is that… HOLY SHIT.”

There’s not even words to formulate an abridged version to my reaction to the ending. I’m literally typing this 8 minutes after the ending of the show and I feel like I got fucked hard. Or kicked in the balls hard, and it was glorious. I saw the light. Destiny found.

Looking around the room in the sweaty, luminescent afterglow, I see my underwear hanging from the ceiling fan. My pants are outside. I only have one sock on and the other is probably floating around there in time and space. I’m going to take a moment to collect all the various parts of myself, including my thoughts, and then come back with some quick thoughts on the season finale of Lost, entitled “The Incident.”

The Incident? You can sure as shit say that again, man.

The episode starts perfectly: Two guys enjoying a little chat on the beach as they scan the news on the horizon. They’re apparently (im)mortal enemies, working against or at least in conflict with each other, but there are rules to their engagements. One of these guys is Jacob and the other, the one who thinks that it always comes back to mortal sin, goes unnamed. And this tender little moment where one swears to the other that he’ll find a way to kill him? It all takes place in the shadow of the statue.

I just love that they can set up a huge overarching mythos for the show and this season in particular in the four minute teaser to the season finale and it already feels so natural and perfect.

Ben. Ben’s had one of the major storylines/character arcs this year and… Well. How fascinating that Ben has become the exact opposite of what we’ve known him as for the entire show so far: A victim. Haven’t you heard, Ben? Only fools are enslaved by time and space.

from here.

The statue:

Goddamn. Look at that fucking thing. Most likely, that’s still Anubis because of the ankhs, but there’s also the theories about Taweret (nahh) and Sobek, which actually make sense too. Sobek was a creator God and also carried around ankhs.

In fact, no, never mind, that is totally Sobek. You can tell by the crocodile mouth.

Jacob. More on him soon, because… it’s kind of hard even wrap your head around this character, you know?

But I find it very interesting that when he visited characters in the past, he always made sure to touch them. Physically. And the camera made sure to let you know that.

Is that his personal way of wrapping destiny around  you in such a way to deliver you to the Island?

Or is he giving them a second chance at life, not just in the moments he touches them, but in a reset post-Eden world? Are they still prisoners to time or are they free? Is the destiny that they’ll find in 2010 the ones that they themselves will create?

Little Kate. Wasn’t she adorable?

And she totally had the right stuff.

Big Kate. Not so bad, but you’re kind of all over the place here, Kate. But so were all of your friends too.

Jack. Jack does come off kind of crazy here, and a little possessed, but I guess it’s nice to see him there, to see him not so apathetic anymore. Also, Jack has a bomb! On one hand, there’s something very noble about his wanting to hit the reset button and see what was meant to be, but on the other hand, wouldn’t it be more noble to win back Kate the hard way? I’m going to have to agree with Sawyer on “what’s done is done” and suggest that if Jack wanted to be worthy of Kate, then he should get to work on being worthy of Kate. But then again, blowing shit up is also cool and they have to do that at the end of every season, right?

Desmond. I don’t mind mentioning that the last three episodes have suffered from an extreme lack of him, but maybe it’s for the best. For both Henry Ian Cusick and the show legally but also… Well, it’s nice that Desmond and Penny got a happy ending to this season.

Evil Twin John Locke. Oooh, Jacob’s Enemy is interesting, isn’t he? Knowing what we know now, I love that in “Follow The Leader” he made sure to have Richard go talk to his past self/past Locke to ensure that Locke does indeed leave the Island and meet his fate (death) like he’s supposed to.

The Real John Locke. You know what? This feels like the perfect ending to the real Locke’s storyline. Throughout all of his struggles to be his own man, to be something more than himself, he was always being used by somebody for something. Even after he died. Also, I loved that they used the same camera angel reveal for his body here that was used in the funeral home at the end of last season’s finale when they opened that mystery box.

The ending to every classic science fiction time travel story ever. I like how Miles has seen at least one and can suggest that maybe this is a predestination paradox. Which all leads wonderfully to…

“Aw, fuck it.” Isn’t that the gist of the rest of the 815ers in ’77′s decision? It kind of echoes Sayid’s sentiments from the previous episode. Either Jack/Faraday was right and this will work or at least they’ll all be put out of their misery and go down swinging.

Charlie. I like how the show is starting to slowly fold back in on itself, ouroboros-style, echoing itself.

Foreshadowing. It was all over this episode and hinting at nothing but bad things for Juliet. And then bad things happened to Juliet. And then that glorious ending…

Sawyer. I’ll say this for Sawyer: “What’s done is done.” That and he’s the kind of guy who kicks a man in the balls…

Bro Fight! This starts off a serious tussle, with some solid punches being thrown, some manly grimaces and growls, and even a kick in the balls They Live-style. Nice. But then it quickly devolves into…

A coupla guys having a sad little cat fight in the jungle. That may be a little harsh but still. Beat some sense into each other, fellas, if you can.

Everything That Rises Must Converge by Flannery O’Connor. You have interesting taste in literature, Jacob.

Rose and Bernard. I respect their new take on life up to a point. To them, it’s not “whatever happened, happened,” but “whatever happens, happens.” They’re very much in the present day, living each moment as it comes and enjoying it as if it’s the last, as long as they’re together. That’s nice and sweet and all, but it’s also a kind of giving up. But for them, it makes sense since every moment they’ve had on the Island so far has felt like borrowed time to them. But more to the point: Are they the Adam and Eve skeletons?

The Rules. There are so many. One set applies to Jacob and his Enemy. But there’s also rules to time travel, iron clad rules it would seem, and I’m happy that so far the show has never deviated from those rules. In fact, every fascinating thing they do only seems to reinforce the stated rules when all is said and done. But even those rules just need a loophole, right?

Time Travel. What do you think? Are our heroes going to make it home? Or, just like Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap, are they going to be left hoping that the next flash is the one that takes them home?

Sayid. Damn.

Sun and Jin. I was hoping these two would get back together this season, but having another thing to look forward to next year is not such a bad thing.

Quick theory on Jacob’s Enemy: He’s the smoke monster. A Loki/trickster type, one has no problem reading people and then impersonating them, especially the dead, and if you remember Ben’s judgment from a few episodes back then you’ll remember that Alex and Locke were never in the same room together. That and I’m going to assume that Jacob was never in that cabin, not that we’ve seen when Ben or Locke or Hurley visited it, and that it was Jacob’s Enemy.

Jacob’s Cabin. “Someone else has been using it.” I’d even theorize that Jacob’s Enemy was probably imprisoned there in the circle of ash and that when Locke came to visit and his foot disturbed the circle, he freed him. And not just freed him, he introduced himself to Jacob’s Enemy and gave him exactly what he’s been looking for all this time: A loophole.

Also, Jacob’s Enemy: would presumably be named Esau, right? That or Edom?

Locke, again. This whole season the writers of this show have been working a magnificent magic trick on us with this character, playing on what we’ve always wanted to see and what little knowledge we’ve had about where all this is going. The knowledge they’ve given us. The knowledge we’ve followed faithfully, even when it conflicted with other knowledge they’ve given us, like the fact that “Dead is dead.” But I guess that’s just part of the beautiful dance that writers and con men have in common with their victims and audience: they desire to be so perfectly and wonderfully fooled.

People with guns. They just don’t understand shit at all. That’s why they have the guns, right?

The argument above is rendered invalid when it comes to hot girls with guns. They can do whatever they want pretty much always.

That guy Phil. He can eat a dick. Or a metal pole! Ha ha!

And let’s not forget this:

Or:

“Come on, you son of a bitch.” Great last line, great last moment. “The Fork In The Outlet?” Please, they may as well have just called this “One last WTF.” Way to go, Juliet. I think she shows, not just in that last moment, but in the entire episode that one person changing their mind can make all the difference.

One last thought for you, just a little something to hold you over for the next 8 months or so: THEY’RE COMING!

A thousand words.

For reals. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

“And that energy, once we can harness it correctly, is going to allow us to manipulate time.”

President Barack Obama’s first day and the things we don’t know.

We’ve got work to do.

Obama signs the order to close Guantanamo within a year.

Student decapitated at Virginia Tech.

“That is one of the things that’s very attractive about secrecy – it gives you a lot of control.”

Man murders his estranged wife because she changed her Facebook status to “single.”

Obama: “I remain committed to protecting a woman’s right to choose.”

Man and woman have a fight in front of a elementary school. He then hits her over the head with a beer bottle.

Obama keeps his blackberry.

Headmail to the future!

To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy.” Above, the last Get Your War On ever.

Obama to Bush: “I can release your records. Don’t like it? Sue.”

Kanye: “Paparazzi give real photographers a bad name. Pictures are worth a thousand words, theirs are worth a thousand dollars.”

Gitmo apparently made the enemy combatants even more hardcore.

Oscar: “Are you… dead?” Eli: “No. Can’t you tell?”

One thousand novels that everyone should read.

Ms. Hawking is back! (Is she Faraday’s momma?)

Well, I guess Kanye was right. A picture is worth a thousand words.