Season of the witch.

In honor of Halloween and Tuesday’s election and Gawker‘s recent ridiculous and intriguingly lame (and anonymous) account of “I had a one-night stand with Christine O’Donnell,” we present to you a selection of comments from that very page…

“I’d be bitter too if an attractive MILF asked to come back to my place and I still couldn’t figure out a way to hook up with her. I’d be bitter, but at least I’d direct my angst towards my own failings, not run off to tell the Internet. What a douche.”

“Based on the title I was expecting Penthouse Letters. I can’t believe how anticlimactic this story is. This douche, nor his douche-roommate, couldn’t get laid.

It should have been titled, ‘BREAKING EXCLUSIVE! O’Donnell has hairy pubes, turns off anonymous dude.’

Anyway Gawker wins, it got my click, and it seems a million other people’s…”

“Dear Gawker, please tell me this man did not benefit financially from this story. This is a non-story story. It would have been relevant if there was deviant sexual intercourse, but not by much. it would have been “groundbreaking” if she’d made out and slept in the same bed with another woman.

But this? This is your exclusive? The title is misleading. You really should retitle it ‘Wax On, Wax Off: The True Story of Christine O’Donnell’s Bush.’ Because the only issue Americans care about is waxing.

Talking about O’Donnell’s sexuality is hard to avoid since many of her platform’s positions are related to the social issues of sex. There’s no way a candidate can say ‘I will stop America from having sex’ and not have constituents wonder if The 40 Year Old Virgin was written about her. So part of it is her own doing.

But why keep beating a dead horse? If you were trying to cast doubt on Christine O’donnells purity/integrity, you failed. O’Donnell is not a virgin. If you wanted the nitty gritty, contact the dude she slept with in college. Contact the witch dude she went on one date with. But don’t say you have an exclusive one night stand tell all when all you have is a dude who kissed and told.

There are many, many reasons not to vote for Christine O’Donnell. But the Ladybug costume and this douchenozzle with the photographic memory are not one of them.”

from here.

“Perhaps Ms. O’Donnell should consider changing her surname to Bush.”

“Remember Gawker, whenever you recall this particular stunt, NEVER GO FULL RETARD.”

“What a tool!

How do you get a women, naked and and natural in your bed, after only five minutes of initially meeting, and not close the deal?!”

“Actual irony here because this will bump her about 5 points and move people into her camp.”

“I think the real story here is an adult dude in a boy scout uniform unable to perform unless a vagina looks like that of an 11 year old.”

from here.

“Damn you, Gawker; damn you for making me feel sympathy for this woman.

The only silver lining here is that the author didn’t get laid. In light of what he wrote, I’d say he deserves a prolonged bout of involuntary celibacy. He’s also a coward for editing himself out of the pics.

That puts him somewhere above ‘Big Ben’ Mills of Peaches Geldof fame –illustrious company, right? — on the Great Big Scale of Douchebaggery™.

Bravo…”

“Damn 700,000+ pageviews. Christine O’Donnell in a ladybug costume is the new iPhone 4 leak.”

“Anonymous should have held out for a pageview check instead.”

And then there’s a post on Gawker noting that Christine O’Donnell has responded to the previous article. Below is a selection of comments from that page…

“I can’t believe they try to pull the woman card here. Someone who knows a candidate has a story with pictures, and people are actually against Gawker running it?

Just terrible. We’re talking about a candidate who won’t even give an interview to anyone but FOX, but would jump on Bill Maher any chance she got to expouse her craziness. Now we finally might have some insight into her real character, and its an invasion of privacy? GTFOH!

Remember that the person in question has pretty much offered themselves as holier than thou. A story like this about a young, single Hilary Clinton or Obeezy wouldn’t be a story at all, because those people don’t shove family values down people’s throats.”

“It’s amazing how many people feel empathy for Christine and decided to vote for her, because of that post. She deserves to be in the U.S. Senate now!!!
She’s the main beneficiary of the posting and should thank Gawker for the effort, besides sending an apology to Chris Coons.”

“RUH ROH!!!

Christine O’Donnell is closing in on Coon’s lead. According to the latest poll results O’Donnell has cut Coon’s lead in half in just the past two weeks.

And that is according to polls that were completed before Gawker’s latest attack on her character. According to the Washington Post an informal poll of female and independent voters in Delaware taken this morning found them to be more symphathetic to O’Donnell after this latest attack.

I just hope the Republicans show proper manners and thank Gawker Media for helping them win BOTH the Senate and the House instead of just the house. Perhaps they can name the bill to repeal the healthcare reform package (or maybe the one repealing the financial reform of Wall Street–or the one restoring the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy) after Gawker Media.”

“I didn’t see anything particularity sexist about reporting that O’Donnell is a lush.

Sure, the dude who was telling the story didn’t shy away from gender-based statements, but this story didn’t make Gawker because she’s a woman, but because she’s ridiculous.

In fact, her insanity up to now has actually helped her here. If this were a male candidate who got drunk and seduced a stranger, it would be the defining scandal of the election.”

“Two, separate issues here:

1. It was pretty despicable of Gawker to publish that article, especially some of the more hurtful personal details. That’s not nice.

2. Regardless, it shows that O’Donnell is a hypocrite and displays little to none of the introspection and self-awareness required to come to terms with her own nature as a human being. I’m not sure that that’s who we want voting on, say, who we go to war with.”

“I see a lot of people saying they are thinking about supporting her now because of this. Please, yes the guy was a douchenugget for airing his almost one night stand publicly but lets not forget that she is Palin level crazy and doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near a political office.”

Editor’s note: You have to love the different variations on the word “douchewhatever” that are used by the various commenters.

“I can’t tell you how much I hope this dopey twat and the rest of her ilk get their asses handed to them on election day.”

“I have to side with Gawker 60/40. The story shows Christine as human, dealing with a world that’s lots of shades of grey (just ask Cheney and his gay daughter). In this way, it’s a sad girl-meets-boy, girl-sorta-lets-boy-get-past-second-base-but-will-still-probably-have-to-spank-one-out-later story.

But she likes to tell people that there are not shades of grey, that your choices are either good or evil, and frankly it doesn’t take much to fall over to the dark side. And I can’t get behind that sort of ridiculousness because once you label them “evil” for masturbating, why not steal, or murder or even cut people off in traffic? What’s to lose? Evil is as evil does!”

“Sexist? Please. Put an idiotic hot male Republican and I’ll make the same ‘I want to hate fuck you’ comments.”

“Yeah, that article was pretty disgusting.

But trying to blame it on your un-involved opponent is too.”

“Christine O’Donnell reminds me of Margaret White (the character played so brilliantly by Piper Laurie in the movie Carrie): condemning sexuality while secretly relishing it.

‘After the first time, before we were married, he promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies………..He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me.’”

“I don’t know about ‘sexist,’ but publishing anonymous letters is pretty bush league.”

Editor’s note: I hope that was an intended pun.

“She could have had some sympathy out of this, but then she tries to tar Coons as somehow – what? – being involved with the Gawker story? Where the hell did that come from?”

“Sexual harassment? Isn’t that taking it a bit too far? Why is it that when women in politics are exposed it’s not alright, but when the men are exposed, the media tries their best to delve deeper and deeper into their personal lives? If O’Donnell hadn’t portrayed herself as a “pure religious virgin” in the media, I would think this story was unacceptable, but she IS portraying herself that way and I think that she should be exposed. I have no sympathy for this anti-gay, anti-sex, anti-masturbation, anti-abortion, and anti-first amendment bitch.”

“It was a terrible article. Full stop. I felt dirty and petty for reading it.”

Vampire sluts.

Previously on Counterforce: Fuck you, Dracula.

One of my favorite webcomics out there is Kate Beaton‘s Hark! A Vagrant, which takes a hilarious look back on history and literature. I’m a little behind on it, but was elated when I checked the internet today and saw that, in honor of Halloween, Kate Beaton was reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula

…and getting at what the book was really about more than a fear of undead bloodsuckers returning to life, but the horrific idea of sexually-liberated women. What a terrifying notion, right? Anyway, I would always recommend the works of Kate Beaton and Hark! A Vagrant, but the stuff on Dracula is especially good and you should get it out.

The risk of going too far.

Meanwhile on the internet…

Some bullshit happening somewhere.

Beck and Palin “letterbombed” via Facebook by Stephen Colbert fans.

Don’t forget: The Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally is tomorrow.

The recent Halloween episode of Modern Family is a pretty good example of that show at it’s finest.

There’s two new planets out there, fuck yeah.

Inside the war between Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno.

Ellen cured Portia’s fear of eating out.

My husband wants me to imitate animals in the bedroom.

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

-T.S. Eliot.

One of my favorite words in our current existence: Cyberwar!

Dear DC Comics: Please fucking reprint Flex Mentallo already.

The pictures in this post are actually paintings by Andy Denzler and can be found here.

True Blood‘s Ryan Kwanten to play Charles Manson. I can totally see it.

Newly released files show Hitler’s daily routine.

The world’s most precise clocks could reveal that the world is a hologram.

Your fingers know when you make a typo.

REDRUM.

Puberty sucks hard.

I’m in a mood tonight to watch The Shining. Well, tonight or tomorrow sometime. I’m a scary movie mood, I guess. Something festive. Something seasonal. And I’m open to suggestions. Conrad Noir suggested The Exorcist which, no joke, I’ve never seen. Occam Razor suggested The Wicker Man remake with Nic Cage which, unfortuanetly, I have seen. And Benjamin Light made a joke about some new movie about a reanimated zombie pop star called This Is It.

All work and no play puts Marco Sparks in a mellow Halloween mood. The Shining, it is. Martin Scorsese agrees with me. Trick or treat, you sons of bitches.

This is roughly my mood as of this moment.

Memento Mori.

Spooky!

Donnn’tttt forgeetttt: Halloween is just a week away.

Girl, Skeleton, Mask.

What is everyone’s plans for All Hallow’s Eve? How drunk are you going to get?

Girls and skull

And what kind of costume will you be wearing when you get that drunk?

That Great Pumpkin is a bit of a tease, if you ask me.

And since Counterforce tends to skew towards movies a little heavier than other things perhaps, what are you favorite scary movies?

You should totally party with those girls, Danny. They look legit.

Tricks in search of treats.

This is my rough estimation of what your top Halloween costumes will look like this year…

1. Michael Jackson. I don’t think this will be a big surprise. We love death! Especially celebrity death, and what better way to celebrate a man who had faded into a rather ghoulish appearance/existence/notoriety than to dress up in his horrifying visage on All Hallow’s Eve. It’s a special kind of homage. For reference, see…

2. The Joker/Heath Ledger. This appeals to the above mentioned death fetishists, those fuckers who dress like clowns/painted demons every goddamn year, and Crow/Cure fans 3.0. As annoying as this gets once you’ve seen it forty times at the same party, it could be worse people. The same guy dressed up in a Joker costume could instead be dressed up in some kind of fishnet mesh shirt… thing.

3. Pirate. Ugh. Shiver my timbers, you morons. Go walk a plank. Seinfeld summed it up best years ago: But I don’t wanna be a pirate! This is not the costume of a self respecting man. The Dread Pirate Robert being the only exception, of course. And last but not least…

Anything “sexy,” or…

…”adult”-ish, or…

…involving cat ears or devil horns. Hey, I’m not judging. And I’m not really complaining either. It’s an interesting place to be. Intellectually, I respect a woman who wants to dress up like Amelia Earhart or Marie Curie or Lucrezia Borgia or whatever. But then again, if you want dress up like Wonder Woman or a sexy astrophysicist or a sexy brain surgeon, I’m okay with that too. In fact, more power to you.

But, me, personally, I’m going to go with the dark horse candidate this Halloween. This year it’s all about the infamous figure everyone will be dressing up as next year: Roman Polanski.

It’s either that, or something involving a cape. And I don’t know what the going rate on capes are these days, but I think this will be cheaper.

This costume really only requires a camera, some qualuudes, and an invite back to Jack Nicholson’s house. It’s the perfect thing for a very frugal season. And, on the plus side, it’s so very, very, very much in incredibly bad taste.

The girl most likely to…

I really want to see An Education, the new movie based on the memoir of the same name by Lynn Barber, directed by Lone Scherfig, and adapted for the screen by Nick Horny.

The story seems interesting enough, about a 16 year old girl named Jenny in 1960s England with a normal mum and dad who’s working hard at her studies with plans to go to Oxford. And then she meets an older man, played by Peter Sarsgaard, who sweeps her off her feet with romance and the jet set travels of his swinging friends and leads her slowly down the path to ruin and the eventual growth into a woman. There’s more to that, much more, but I’ll spare you the details unless you’re truly interested.

First thing you should know, impressionable ladies of any age: Stay the fuck away from Peter Sarsgaard. He just looks like he’s out there to scoop up impressionable young girls.

But in all seriousness, the real reason I want to see this movie, besides the fact that it just looks good and has been getting incredibly positive reviews, is it’s lead, Carey Mulligan.

Ah…

I’ve only been lucky enough to catch her in a few things here and there, but she’s always come off as a young actress of grace and intelligence. And there’s an adorableness factor that’s truly undeniable. But all that ties into the fact that in one instant she can seem so young, so painfully, beautifully young, full of innocence and wide eyed wonder of the world, and then she can turn in an instant, those large eyes quivering with sadness, and then turn again, staying in the realm of adulthood, moving from the sadness to the joy of growing up. And she does it all with something that I never honestly thought I’d ever find in a living human being: grace.

I should also add, since I am a nerd, that I originally caught her in an episode of Doctor Who, the classic “Blink,” which I would highly recommend not only as an excellent piece of science fiction storytelling, but because it’s a stand alone episode, featuring solely Carey Mulligan’s one off character, the unstoppably inquisitive Sally Sparrow, girl detective, as she faces off against a mysterious mansion and one of the scariest bit of creatures (it is almost Halloween, after all) you’ll ever see: The Weeping Angels.

To say more would be criminal, but I’d give my highest recommendation to that episode, written by the genius Steven Moffat (set to take over the reins of Doctor Who early next year) and Carey Mulligan’s performance in it especially. She not crafts an energetic and intelligent young character who loves a good mystery, but she manages to create a role you fall in love with instantly. It’s a joke I make quite frequently on this site, but I’d truly give just about anything to see a spin off with her character in it (as opposed to the bisexual Nigel Kneale ripoff that is Torchwood on it’s better days).

Carey Mulligan is only 24 and already has a wide variety of film and television roles under her belt. Other than An Education now, she’ll also appear in the Natalie Portman/Tobey Maguire/Jake Gyllenhaal remake of Brothers, as well as Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2 and Mark Romanek’s adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go.

Nick Hornby, who you of course know from his earlier works like High Fidelity and About A Boy, and who adapted the autobiographical memoir by Barber into An Education, also has a new book about called Juliet, Naked. And I hear it’s actually pretty good.

“She’s a suburban girl who’s frightened that she’s going to get cut out of everything good that happens in the city. That, to me, is a big story in popular culture. It’s the story of pretty much every rock ‘n’ roll band,” said Hornby about the character in the book version of An Education. Interesting the way he frames that, but when asked about the actual writing of a teenage girl, as opposed to just a man who’s whole live revolves around music and quim, Hornby said, “I think the moment you’re writing about somebody who’s not exactly you, then the challenge is all equal. I was glad that everyone around me on this movie was a woman so that they could watch me carefully. But I don’t remember anyone saying to me, ‘That isn’t how women think.’”

If not stopped, I could potentially post pictures of Carey Mulligan here forever.

Third time’s the charm?

For McCrazyballs tonight? No, probably not. But it’ll be fascinating to watch. Will he do his damndest to try to unnerve Obama tonight? Maybe. Will he try to bring up this Ayers bullshit and use that Obama without somehow opening a door for the Keating scandals of long ago? And how do you try to wage a weak argument on “domestic terrorism” when a majority of the hearts and minds you’re trying to win over just want to know how the fuck they’re going to pay their rent?

Good questions. I have no idea. Instead I offer you a preview of tonight’s debate:

(from here.)

Palin talks about voter fraud here. That’s interesting.

An open letter to the American people. Every single 2008 Nobel Laureate endorses Obama. (Thanks, as usual, to Robot Heart.)

(from here.)

Verizon and AT&T provided free cell towers to the McCain Ranch. Somehow the McCain ranch seems like an even more terrifying place to me than Neverland ranch.

Either she’s just a willful, bold liar or… Sarah Palin may not know how to read.

And here’s an inside look into Obama’s processes with the second debate:

Best line: “I knew that that debate was in the bag… I just didn’t expect him to actually hand me the bag.”

Oh, and hey Halloween’s just around the corner!

I know what I’m going as…

That, or… Indiana Jones. Definitely.