Desmond of two worlds!

Or, “See You In Another Life, Brotha!”

Last night Desmond finally properly returned to the world of Lost and I do believe that he not only brought some of his crazy Scottish magic with him, but he also brought the endgame we’ve all been eagerly anticipating/dreading.

And with his return last night, there came not only a new spin on this season’s recurring flash sideways action, but some complicated questions and theories about whether anyone on this show will ever be allowed to live “Happy Ever After.”

Ah, poor Desmond. I’ve said it many a time before, but I truly believe that he lingers somewhere at the living, breathing, constantly raw heart of this show, that he’s immersed in the DNA of Lost like permanent alcohol poisoning. At so many points in his life he’s been not only lost himself, but a constant loser, yet still we love him. He is our sad, wayward Homeric hero and we root for him endlessly, always on the edge of our seat in his continuing quest to return to his Penelope and his Ithaca. And two years ago he found her, only to discover at the end of last season and here in the midpoint of this one that his particular odyssey is not through him.

If this season of Lost, with the continue flash sideways motif going on, has been about, it’s parallels and opposites. Whereas Island Des has always been a coward struggling to find circumstances to make him better, always been a man out of work, a man whose relationships define him more than anything, particularly his love for Penny and the struggle for approval from her father, Charles Widmore. With that family it’s always been a question of worthiness. Widmore never saw Desmond as worthy of his daughter, let alone his fucking Scotch. And though Penny was there, alive and breathing in the flesh in Desmond’s arms so many times, he still went out into the world and struggled to be worthy of her.

Of course there’s parallels to Jack’s love for Kate there. Kate was right there in front of him but Jack was willing to blow up a nuclear bomb to start over again, to be worthy of her (or to get the fuck away from her once and for all). And Desmond wasn’t necessarily as extreme enough as a nuclear weapon, but for him it was about winning a race around the world, besting her father in one of his own challenges. That fails, of course, and somehow Desmond discovers a vastly more important calling in life: Saving the world by pressing a button every 108 minutes for three years.

And then there’s Sideways Desmond! He’s a man defined by his work, both immersed in his materialistic joys and apart from the world that offers them, and he’s beloved by his employer/father figure, Charles Widmore.

You just know that 60 year old MacCutcheon tastes amazing.

And of course Charlie comes into his life again, and he ruins it all again.

from here.

Well, Charlie, and all those crazy electromagnetics.

This is a complicated episode, both in itself and what it means for the future for Lost, and the way it’s evolved from the show’s past and complicated mythology so far. Parallels and opposites: The worst three words that Desmond could ever face in his life, “NOT PENNY’S BOAT,” mean something powerfully different in the Sideways World, a call to something else he should be struggling to find. His odyssey is just beginning and his Penelope is just out there waiting for him. He now needs to seek out what Charlie called, “spectacular, consciousness altering love.”

But then again, Charlie’s a fucking junkie. What the hell does he know?

And so many wonderful returns: Fisher Stevens as George Minkowski, his driver who wants to find him some “companionship,” Jeremy Davies as Daniel Widmore/Faraday, and Finnoula Flanagan as Eloise Widmore/Hawking. Everyone seems to know something more than Desmond, to know that he’s not ready yet for… something, but in some way they’re going to aid him on his quest. Faraday is a musician (one who wants to combine classic music with modern rock) in this Sideways timeline, which was perhaps his heart’s desire even if his dreaming destiny is science, but I loved the philosophical ramblings he shared with Desmond. This is not the world that they were meant to have, he says. Something’s been changed. Like the after of a nuclear weapon going off. Do you want to blow up a nuclear bomb? Desmond asks. I think I already have, Widmore/Faraday replies.

And then Desmond meets the woman of his dreams, the love of his life in another life. Parallels and opposites: This time she’s the one running the tour de stade. She probably has a lot of frustrations to vent (she is, sadly, stuck in Flash Forward at least through this season, after all).

Unrelated, I think this episode highlights a strong difference between Americans and Europeans…

Americans drink and they get drunk. The Eurotrash have really developed and mastered the skill to just keep drinking. Pouring yourself a glass of whiskey is just an extension of your hand, something you just do, like breathing, eating, or genital manipulation. It’s an ability we used to have, but clearly lost. It’s something magical that I think we’ve really lost since the days of the swinging 60s and the era of Mad Men.

It’s nice to have you back, Penny.

Other than that… There’s so much you could say about this episode, about all of it, all over the spectrum. Too much. I typically wouldn’t recommend Jeff Jensen’s Lost ramblings over Entertainment Weekly because they’re usually pretty asinine, but he brings up some good thoughts in his write up about last night’s “Happy Ever After.” Also, I’ll begrudgingly credit him with a good phrasing for the solenoid/toroidal coil chamber room in which Charles Widmore conducts his electromagnetic experiment on Desmond: “Quantum Sweat Lodge.”

from here.

And I tell you, all those years ago, I wish that Hurley hadn’t been reading the Flash/Green Lantern team up comic (the one that teased the audience with the notion of polar bears), but had instead been reading the classic Gardner Fox/Carmine Infantino story, “Flash Of Two Worlds.” It’s the story that pretty much created the DC Comics Multiverse and gave birth to a modern look back at the Golden Age and Silver Age of comics (and has been obsessed over by numerous prominent Scottish comic book writers since). Thought the conversation about the Flash back in “Catch 22″ is a lot funnier to me now. Desmond is a man in two worlds now, he is both Barry Allen and Jay Garrick now. That is, Desmond is the Flash, and things are going to start moving faster now…

…because now the end looms larger still. Things are set in motion, and timetables are being advanced all over the place. Sayid is running around killing people all willy nilly. Desmond’s able to cross his consciousness between two worlds, and seems to have found a mission in both. We’re going somewhere now, but where? Who can say? And who knows in what direction. Up? Down? Forwards or backwards? Or perhaps Sideways.

Prima Aprilis.

So… the first day of a new month, and you ponder as you recover from the madness of mars, how are you supposed to prepare for a whole new month when the first day of said month is one for joking and tomfoolery and hoaxes. And you wonder about this new month, who does it belong to? The jokers and manipulators or the gullible and foolish?

from here.

That’s a question we can ask ourselves, certainly, but maybe another time.

Cause we are clearly not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

I haven’t seen a lot of great April Fool’s Day jokes out there, not even a tremendous amount of RickRolling either, but Maria pointed out that Joel McHale took over Ryan Seacrest’s site, which is kind of funny to me, and also an upgrade, obviously.

How can Ryan Seacrest’s joke be anything but a failure when it’s a celebration of someone like Ryan Seacrest? An age old question. If you look good and hard at the walls in Plato’s cave, that question is written there, along with mythic super hero hieroglyphics and crude depictions of humans hunting animals and having sex with lightning bolts or whatever crazy thing people were onto back then.

Oh, and then I just saw this:

I giggled a bit at that, I won’t lie.

Oh, and this:

Way to go fake science news, as reported by CNET UK: “A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had traveled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.”

So many lovely references in the CNET UK article there, I recommend you glance at it, sci fi nerds. There’s a nice glance towards H. G. Well’s famous novel in the paragraph above, but the story also references that the mysterious stranger from the future was wearing “wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age,” which is a lovely nod to the fact that, as I shall remind you once again, the new series of Doctor Who starts this weekend with the brand new Doctor.

Oh, and this clips’s decent as well.

Maybe I was wrong before when I saw that time travel was something special about last year, something that was meant to stay in last year and that our lurch towards something big and new and wonderful here in the year we make contact was going to be just that, here, now, in this year. But maybe time travel isn’t done with us yet. At least not in pop culture. I say that half seriously, half in jest, and a whole other crazy half in an attempt to segue into how I think that next week’s episode of Lost, which of course is a Desmond one, makes me think it’ll be similar to “The Constant.”

What do you think? Yes, no, maybe? Oh, who knows. We’ll just watch and see. It’s Desmond, so it’ll be good.

But Benjie Light and I were talking the other day, gabbing and gossiping as we’re prone to do, waxing poetic about things we’d like to see as the last season of Lost winds down and half jokingly, and half in an eerie calm wave of deadly seriousness, we decided that whatever the finale image of Lost is… whether it’s Jack smiling at having found his destiny or a gorgeous sunset or Sayid marching off into the future with a whole bevy of beautiful women on his arm, we’d then like the producers to immediately cut to this:

“The heart wants what it wants.”

I literally spent a whole day trying to think of just a truly amazing pun for you sexy people revolving around the skeletal structure of: “And then Charles Widmore shows Jin his package.” But beyond what it is, I came up with nothing. Sigh. Such is the dilemma after last night’s interesting and solid episode of Lost, entitled “The Package.”

It was a Sun and Jin episode, and… you know what? It’s about time it was a Sun and Jin episode, right?

I mean, all of last season we were watching, eagerly anticipating the reunion between them, which we didn’t get. That’s cool, that’s cool, but here we are… still waiting, still hoping, only the hope is turning into something else now. A kind of dread as the end of the season/show looms larger on the horizon.

Here’s a couple that are certainly lost on Lost, but will they ever be “…and found” again?

You’d think so with the increasing number of white people who are promising either Sun or Jin that they’re going to help them be reunited. But, then again, white people promise all kinds of shit, don’t they?

Also: GRATUITOUS CLOSE UP OF SUN’S BOOBS.

I kind of liked the story of Sideways Sun and Jin. The rich girl, the princess of a powerful and ruthless man, “the glass ballerina,” beautiful and hard and cruel in her own right at times, and her clueless, lovelorn bodyguard. One last task to be carried out for her father and then they’re going to run off together into their own happy ending. After all, wasn’t that Jin’s father’s advice to his son once upon a time in another timeline? Only, her father has other plans: like having Jin killed by Keamy. So sad, but so good. Being from Korea, it’s only natural that Sun and Jin would not know that no one actually finds a happy ending in LA. Well, except for that kind of happy ending, of course.

The stuff with Jack and Sun and her lost voice was interesting, nicely echoing Jack’s previous attempt at a pep talk with Sun, but I have to admit that as Jack was walking up to her there on the beach, eager to talk her into going with them to stop the Man in Black, I kept thinking, “How on earth is Jack going to attempt to kill himself this time?”

And speaking of the Man In Black/The Locke-ness Monster… I liked that he inherited a little of Locke’s tragic, hopeless pathetic lot in life of sorts. Things just don’t want to be simple for him.

And back to Jack, Richard Alpert, Ilana, and the gang… I think if I have one major complaint about this final season, it’s that we’re in a kind of lull now. The first few episodes were a huge rush to get somewhere and then… sit around and wait. Then things sped up and went crazy and characters frantically hurried up to… sit around and wait some more. I suspect that things are about to change on that front, and I’m thankful.

It’s interesting how the two camps on the show are split up literally between the good and the bad. Well, mostly. Locke’s gang includes the torturer, the killers and the criminals, and the corporate goons, the insane and the spineless. Jack’s group… well, there’s an immortal man, a millionaire who talks with the dead, a Korean billionaire who lost her ability to speak English, and also Frank Lapidus and Miles. And Ilana. Ben’s the wild card there, the stand out to that logic. But he’s reformed and docile now, right?

Also, DESMOND IS BACK.

And the text message I got late last night…

Benjamin Light: “That’s right, bitches: Sayid just held his breath underwater for like five hours!”

Myself: “Fuck Yeah Sayid doesn’t need air anymore.” Chuck Norris better watch out.

Also, Richard Alpert in no way, shape, nor form supports Flash Forward and sure as hell doesn’t recommend that you watch it. He’d rather see the Man In Black escape the Island and unleash hell on Earth than see Flash Forward get a second season pick up.

And closer and closer we get…

Time is on my side.

“I confess that I do not believe in time.”

-Vladimir Nabokov

A User’s Guide To Time Travel,” from the super powers issue of Wired.

There’s a lot of other great stories in that issue, like stuff on how to be invisible and antigravity.

Richard Alpert/Ram Dass talks about LSD.

Desmond, and to a certain extent, the show as well, are being sued for sexual harassment.

Warren Ellis says that the future will be one of the eat or be eaten variety. Mostly the “be eaten” variety, actually. Prepare for the Robochompocalypse.

“Wild nights are my glory,” the unearthly stranger told them. “I just got caught in a downdraft and blown off course. Let me sit down for a moment, and then I’ll be on my way. Speaking of ways, by the way, there is such a thing as a tesseract.”

-from A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L’Engle, one of my favorite books growing up and one of those few books that I try to read again once every year.

Blah.

Speaking of time travel, the new Star Trek comes out today and I’m excited.

“I Want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.”

-H.G. Wells

Random Ramblings: Good Superbowl Friday edition

I’ve got a bunch of half-formed semi-interesting thoughts in my head, and like everyone else in America, I’ve decided to fill a blog with them. In my defense, I just rewatched Jughead, so my mind is trying to operate whilst blown.

My episodes are always awesome, brotha!

My episodes are always awesome, brotha!

…The White House has a blog, but it’s pretty boring. It would be way cooler if it was actually ‘Bama’s personal blog. Something like:

…Shot hoops with BronBron and Agent Zero this morning. Cavs are taking it this year, gotta talk him into CHI-town in o-ten. …Michelle’s been buggin on the fair pay bill, so I got that signed away. GOP was MIA on the stimulus in the House. LOLz! like I need their votes… oh. wait, I think Rahm just killed a dude. brb

Mount Redoubt is a pretty awesome name for a volcano. Especially one that’s about to rain ash on Sarah Palin. I once called for the destruction of New Orleans in a blog and it happened the next day. Can I get a similar result if I call for a volcanopocalypse on Wasilla, AK?

Bring it

Bring it

…My new theory: Charles Widmore is his own grandfather. Damn. I just blew my mind all over again.

"Quiet, ahm goin incognito, brotha!"

"Quiet, ahm goin incognito, brotha!"

24 is also back, and as stupidly entertaining as in its best seasons. I’m not going to get into a discussion of 24 and Torture here, like everyone else talking about 24 in 2009, because trying to have an intelligent conversation about reality and 24 at the same time is Stupid. Jack Bauer faked killing a hot redhead by shooting her just on the edge of her neck. That was inspired. But despite America’s bromance with soulful, whispering, never-smiling Jack, my heart belongs to Chloe.

America's favorite Asperger's Disorder-afflicted computer nerd.

America's favorite Asperger's Disorder-afflicted computer nerd.

Without her, 24 is just a stupid counter-terror action show. With her, it’s a stupid counter-terror action show with Chloe! This season, Chloe is 1/4th of CTU in its entirety, hacking into the FBI at will, while still being a stay-at-home mom. Bring on more l33t haX0r battles between her and obvious mole Janeane Garofalo.

"That was really unfair what they said about you on TV, Jack. You looked good, though."

"That was really unfair what they said about you on TV, Jack. You looked good, though."

…Now I see what Richard meant when he asked “no no, John, which of these thing belong to you, already?”

This is what all the cool kids will be wearing this spring

This is what all the cool kids will be wearing this spring

…Obama is picking the Steelers on Sunday. I disagree, but I admire a politician who doesn’t BS and equivocate on sports. He’s got his positions and he goes with them.

…I think we always knew Joe Torre was a piece of shit.

…California is the greatest state in the nation and like the 6th largest economy in the world, right? So why is the state government such a complete clusterfuck? And don’t say the Governator, it was shit even before he took over. I think I blame Enron and Prop 13. And years of self-serving careerists controlling the levers of power…

Remember this from back in 2000? Fuck.

Remember this from back in 2000? Fuck.

…This year’s Oscar noms: it’s like the Academy wants to beat us over the head with how pointless and irrelevant the awards are now.It was 10 years ago that Saving Private Ryan lost to fucking Shakespeare in Love. Since then, shite such as Chicago, Crash, Gladiator, Return of the King and A Beautiful Mind have won. Read that sentence again. That’s fucking bleak.

These days, it’s an honor not to be nominated.o_rly

It’s pretty obvious that all the real talent in H’Wood is on television now. Movies can’t get greenlighted unless they’re already a known property these days and the creative bankruptcy is going to kill the whole industry. Ah well, bring on more quality serialized TV. Or, barring that, at least a decent Scottish buddy cop show starring Henry Ian Cusick and Ewan McGregor.

I'd watch it.

I'd watch it.

PS. holy shit, i just discovered that Desmond was in that awful-looking video game movie Hitman. I guess I have to watch that now.

Top 5 of Lost, #3: I gotta get back in time!

Previously, on Lost: The mysterious nerdy people from the mysterious and ominous freighter finally show up, promising rescue and seeming to know more than they let on. Seeking some answers, Desmond and Sayid take off on the helicopter with Frank Lapidus (You have no idea how much I would love a spinoff with these three characters)(Oh, and Naomi’s body is in there too)(You wanna throw her in the spinoff? Fine. Weekend At Naomi’s!) to go back to the freighter, but they left a day ago and according to the stuntwoman on the phone, the helicopter never arrived…

Which brings us to our #3 on this list of top episodes of Lost: “The Constant.”

When Benjamin Light and I were first sat down (like two days ago) to discuss what our pick for top five episodes were going to be, the first one I thought of was this one. Time magazine agreed with me. Probably because as complicated and as magical as everything on this show is, the heart of the show as slowly become the love story between Desmond and his lost love, Penelope.

And this episode is one of the first appearances of what would appear to be the theme of the upcoming season 5: Leaving something is easy, but it’s the going back that’s hard.

A quick summary may be difficult (especially knowing me), that’s why I’d definitely point you up to the link up above which gives you a fantastic recap of all the wonderful stuff going on here. But suffice it to say, the main plot deals with Desmond traveling off the island (perhaps on the wrong course, as given to Frank Lapidus by Daniel Faraday) and due to the buildup of electromagnetic radiation in his system (from the implosion of the Swan), he becomes unstuck in time, Billy Pilgrim-style.

Rather than being himself in 2004, when the present day segments of the episode are set, he’s instead his consciousness from 1996, traveling back and forth between 1996 and 2004 in his own body.

Seeking help for this (the shifting back in time will eventually kill Desmond, we realize), we get one of the nerdiest and coolest moments of the entire show: Present day Faraday on the Island (via sat phone) tells 1996 Desmond that when he travels to the past again, he needs to hop on a train and head down to the Oxford college. Go to the Physics department there. “Because I need you to find me,” Daniel tells him.

And find him, he does. The Daniel Faraday of 8 years earlier is a professor at Oxford (the first time we see him in this time period, he’s chewing out a student with “You do understand the concept of original, the opposite of derivative?”) who seems to be in a little more possession of his mental faculties (remember, the first time we ever see Faraday, he has a caretaker watching over him). This younger, angrier Faraday thinks that Desmond’s talk of being from the future is a prank being pulled on him by his fellow faculty members, but thanks to some future knowledge supplied to Desmond by future Faraday, he quickly understands that it’s for reals.

TIME TRAVEL IS FOR REAL!

Faraday of Oxford has been doing these experiments on just that notion, you see, firing his purple radiation laser (that sounds filthy, doesn’t it? Good) at rats and having them run mazes. This particular rat, Eloise, runs the maze perfectly. You know what’s so cool about that? The maze was just built that morning and Faraday isn’t going to teach Eloise how to run it until an hour from now. The rat is shifting back and forth in time just like Billy Pilgrim and Desmond and Fisher Stevens (from Short Circuit)!

From 1996 Faraday, Desmond learns something important (by the way, Eloise the rat died, from an aneurysm, because time and space are no place for stupid rats), something vital: The chronological bouncing back and forth will continue until the point he dies until he makes contact in both time periods with something he really, really cares about. A constant, Faraday surmises, because that’s what every equation needs to balance it. And Desmond asks, “Can this constant be a person?”

Oh, it most certainly can. The reunion of Desmond and Penny via the technology of Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison after two years of waiting and building was nothing short of fantastic. If this didn’t take a nice little tug at your heart strings, then… well, go get a fucking heart transplant. Yours is obviously broken, you robot.

There’s four things I really want to bring up from this episode, and the first is the character of Faraday himself, whom I think, even as interesting as he already is, will only become more interesting. He’s easily become one of my favorite characters, which is bizarre considering how much Jeremy Davies bugs the shit out of me in just about every other single thing he’s done.

Keamy! This is the first time we see Keamy, who’ll go on to become this season’s thuggish and seemingly unstoppable (ironically, or maybe not so much, Light tells me that the guy who plays Keamy will be the Blob in the Wolverine movie) big bad character (much like Mikhail was in the previous season). It’s a very interesting dichotomy, the mega-homicidal Keamy from the season finale matched with this episode’s Keamy who’s all like, “Oh, hi there, crazy time hopping Desmond. I’m Keamy and this is my good buddy, Omar. Care for some tea and bear hugs while we wait on the ship’s resident saw bones?”

Sayid! He’s basically just watching out for Desmond in this episode but has a great moment in the communications room at the end, looking at the trashed radio (thanks to the saboteur, Kevin Johnson), and when a dismayed Desmond asks if he can fix it, Sayid just nonchalantly says, “Give me a moment,” and then goes to work.

The Black Rock/Charles Widmore! A great little fuck you of a tease to the fans. Widmore, who has now shaped up to be some kind of grand evil (or so we’re supposed to believe)(if one who opposes Ben could actually be considered evil), willing to do whatever it takes to get the Island back is at an auction in London buying the journal of the first mate of the Black Rock, for sale by Tovard Hanso (of whose family has been the only one privy so far to it’s contents). Speaking of fuck you moments, Widmore has another one with Desmond, not as great as the one in “Flashes Before Your Eyes,” but not bad.

Oh, and how can we forget that killer of an ending?

And then: The Tempest and the birth of Jin and Sun’s baby. Michael returns and Jack and Kate (very briefly, very tragically) enjoy something nice back home. The Monster is summoned, Charles Widmore changes the rules, and, “You can go now, Michael.” Ka-boom! Break out the DHARMA rum and, “Jack… I said all of you. We’re going to have to bring him too.”

See you in another blog post, brotha!