Scottish Manes.

On our Star Wars podcast a few weeks ago, I was threatening that I was going to write a monograph about Ewan McGregor’s hair in films, and I’m sure Benjamin Light thought I was just joking. He probably – rightfully? – hoped that I was.

Scottish manes.I wasn’t. Thought Catalog was nice enough to publish a piece by me the other day: A Selection Of Films Rated On The Quality Of Ewan McGregor’s Hair In Them.”

Here’s the sad thing: I could have gone on and on, and in quite a big of greater detail than I did. Their might be a strange little e-book on this topic in the future so, you know, beware.

* * *

At some point, I feel like I could write another piece (though a much shorter one) on the hair of prominent comic book writers, especially those in the Marvel bullpen. In short: They’re all bald! Sometimes they have the wall of hair on the side, a power move that I’m sure is called “The Captain Picard” in barber college. Sometimes they just go for the shave and shine, electing to try to convince us that they chose to shave their head, not that they were losing a war with genetics. (“Make it SO!”)

I can see you!

Oh well. These are the people who decide who of our favorite four color heroes will die (like Peter Parker recently) or get raped and stuffed in a refrigerator.

FYI: TV Tropes informs me that it is actually referred to as “Bald Of Awesome.”

* * *

Benjamin Light informed me tonight that Ewan McGregor was rated as #5 on GQ‘s list of Most Stylish Men. I could tell you who was rated higher than him, but it’s bullshit. At least it wasn’t Michael Fassbender or Channing Tatum.

Men in suits.

Fucking Channing Tatum.

* * *

The blog is just days away from ending!

And, as always, I’m going to ask and suggest that you check out our podcasts…

Podcasts!

Time Travel Murder Mystery is on a very short hiatus currently, but I imagine that you can expect new episodes again in early January. Meanwhile, Greedo Shot First, our Star Wars podcast for people who hate Star Wars fans, is still going strong. I believe that the subject of our next episode will be a rewatching of The Empire Strikes Back. The haircuts in that movie were really just so so.

Random Ramblings: Good Superbowl Friday edition

I’ve got a bunch of half-formed semi-interesting thoughts in my head, and like everyone else in America, I’ve decided to fill a blog with them. In my defense, I just rewatched Jughead, so my mind is trying to operate whilst blown.

My episodes are always awesome, brotha!

My episodes are always awesome, brotha!

…The White House has a blog, but it’s pretty boring. It would be way cooler if it was actually ‘Bama’s personal blog. Something like:

…Shot hoops with BronBron and Agent Zero this morning. Cavs are taking it this year, gotta talk him into CHI-town in o-ten. …Michelle’s been buggin on the fair pay bill, so I got that signed away. GOP was MIA on the stimulus in the House. LOLz! like I need their votes… oh. wait, I think Rahm just killed a dude. brb

Mount Redoubt is a pretty awesome name for a volcano. Especially one that’s about to rain ash on Sarah Palin. I once called for the destruction of New Orleans in a blog and it happened the next day. Can I get a similar result if I call for a volcanopocalypse on Wasilla, AK?

Bring it

Bring it

…My new theory: Charles Widmore is his own grandfather. Damn. I just blew my mind all over again.

"Quiet, ahm goin incognito, brotha!"

"Quiet, ahm goin incognito, brotha!"

24 is also back, and as stupidly entertaining as in its best seasons. I’m not going to get into a discussion of 24 and Torture here, like everyone else talking about 24 in 2009, because trying to have an intelligent conversation about reality and 24 at the same time is Stupid. Jack Bauer faked killing a hot redhead by shooting her just on the edge of her neck. That was inspired. But despite America’s bromance with soulful, whispering, never-smiling Jack, my heart belongs to Chloe.

America's favorite Asperger's Disorder-afflicted computer nerd.

America's favorite Asperger's Disorder-afflicted computer nerd.

Without her, 24 is just a stupid counter-terror action show. With her, it’s a stupid counter-terror action show with Chloe! This season, Chloe is 1/4th of CTU in its entirety, hacking into the FBI at will, while still being a stay-at-home mom. Bring on more l33t haX0r battles between her and obvious mole Janeane Garofalo.

"That was really unfair what they said about you on TV, Jack. You looked good, though."

"That was really unfair what they said about you on TV, Jack. You looked good, though."

…Now I see what Richard meant when he asked “no no, John, which of these thing belong to you, already?”

This is what all the cool kids will be wearing this spring

This is what all the cool kids will be wearing this spring

…Obama is picking the Steelers on Sunday. I disagree, but I admire a politician who doesn’t BS and equivocate on sports. He’s got his positions and he goes with them.

…I think we always knew Joe Torre was a piece of shit.

…California is the greatest state in the nation and like the 6th largest economy in the world, right? So why is the state government such a complete clusterfuck? And don’t say the Governator, it was shit even before he took over. I think I blame Enron and Prop 13. And years of self-serving careerists controlling the levers of power…

Remember this from back in 2000? Fuck.

Remember this from back in 2000? Fuck.

…This year’s Oscar noms: it’s like the Academy wants to beat us over the head with how pointless andĀ irrelevantĀ the awards are now.It was 10 years ago that Saving Private Ryan lost to fucking Shakespeare in Love. Since then, shite such as Chicago, Crash, Gladiator, Return of the King and A Beautiful Mind have won. Read that sentence again. That’s fucking bleak.

These days, it’s an honor not to be nominated.o_rly

It’s pretty obvious that all the real talent in H’Wood is on television now. Movies can’t get greenlighted unless they’re already a known property these days and the creative bankruptcy is going to kill the whole industry. Ah well, bring on more quality serialized TV. Or, barring that, at least a decent Scottish buddy cop show starring Henry Ian Cusick and Ewan McGregor.

I'd watch it.

I'd watch it.

PS. holy shit, i just discovered that Desmond was in that awful-looking video game movie Hitman. I guess I have to watch that now.