Closer.

Break out of loops.

from here.

Almost over, almost finished. There will be just this post, this one right here that you’re reading, and then one two more tomorrow (I believe) in 2013, and then I think Counterforce will be finished…

WordPress put together a nice little package of the year 2012 in review for the blog, which didn’t contain a lot because we didn’t do a lot with the blog in 2012. Hence, I’m afraid, it’s coming to a close.

I’m not going to make it public, though it gives you the option to do so, but I will give you two highlights from it which I think are funny…

Attractions.

I do like WordPress in general. I know there are a lot of other blogging platforms out there that people like better, and I don’t doubt that they’re better, but WordPress has always pleased me with its simplicity and being relatively easy to use.

Lost and found.

Anyway, I would like to do more and say more, but there’s no time. I would like to end the blog right now, today, have it close its doors for the last time in 2012, but again, no time. I have other plans, other things to accomplish, a life that exists only part of the time on the internet, and that’s a small part of why the blog is ending. Plus, it’s funny to me to see it last just a little bit longer, to dip over just a little into the next year. If the world had ended last week as we were promised, then it wouldn’t be an issue, but oh well. One down, two to go.

So, that said, have a nice New Year’s Eve, you perverts, and have fun. And we’ll make our final goodbyes tomorrow in

And here we go...

01/11/11.

from here.

From the internet:

Anthropomorphic cannibalism.

The difference between the US version of Skins and the UK version of Skins.

How to use eHOW to turn yourself into a comedic force to be reckoned with.

Brooklyn style, bitch!”

Bond is back.

by Kelly Reemtsen, from here.

The Day The Universe Came and other incredibly amazing and erotic pulp science fiction book covers.

The afterlife of David Foster Wallace.

What really happened to Endor when they ganked the Death Star?

Hark! A Vagrant and Nancy Drew.

from here.

Twitter’s response to the WikiLeaks subpoena should be the industry standard.

FYI: The Prisoner is probably still my favorite show ever.

Meg Ryan and John (Cougar!) Mellencamp are dating and that’s a little too much for me to handle this early in the new year.

Kepler spacecraft finds hot, distant planet.

An infographic history of the Batmobile.

via Boing Boing.

Mona Lisa landscape mystery finally “solved.”

People can build bombs out of anything. Including vibrators.

The Counterforce post with the best pictures.

Myspace cuts half it’s staff in half.

Here’s 12 ways to spot a cheat.

Literal New Yorker cartoon captions.

What would Jesus do about sex trafficking?

There’s going to be another Neil LaBute movie, this time starring Brendan Fraser.

Did Kanye steal Dr. Dog’s music video?

Also, Kanye got his album cover banned on purpose. Sigh.

Atmosphere’s self-cleaning capacity surprisingly stable.

I really like this mash up between Doctor Who and Dr. Seuss.

Ghostbusters meets Inception.

The eurotrash and their monetary destiny.

The ALA’s Youth Media Award winners.

The 50 best comic book covers of 2010.

Grant Morrison’s 2002 performance piece for Steve Cook.

Charlize Theron to star in Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel?

Visualizing the deletion process on Wikipedia.

Interesting photos: The photo that Anna Wintour famously axed from Vogue and Wastelands by Dan Dubowitz.

Climate change to last a millennium. Deal with it.

NASA called 2012 the most flawed sci fi film ever.

Transcending the human, DIY style.

from here.

Haecceity.

Maybe this is not for you. Maybe it’s just not the time for this kind of thing?

Continue reading

Today.

Things I learned today:

There’s a difference between “malfeasance” and “misfeasance.” Chick-fil-A has this spicy ranch dressing that accompanies their salads and wraps and it’s fucking delicious, even though I hate Chick-fil-A as a corporation. The motto for this year – the year we make contact – shall be: “Conscience off, dick on!” Ricky Gervais is joining Curb Your Enthusiasm for it’s next season. Tom Petty (and the Heartbreakers) has a new album coming out today, it’s called Mojo, and I’ll probably get it for my dad for Father’s Day. Bret Easton Ellis doesn’t like female directors, but likes Andrew McCarthy. Oh, and he loves Roger Avary too, which isn’t all that surprising, I guess. Some days I feel like the singularity can’t come soon enough and today feels like one of those days. I like the idea of having funerals for celebrities even though they’re not actually dead though we might wish that their careers were.

Some of these pictures are by Tauba Auerbach, and I found them here, and one of the photos below is from right here. David Markson died twelve days ago but I didn’t find it out until today when I read it on somebody’s blog. This picture makes me laugh and makes me want to email it to Peanut St. Cosmo, but instead I’m just hyperlinking to it. No one wants to have sex to this song. Nor this one. And if they do, that’s just fucking weird.

Things I re-learned today:

Dogs have become too reliant on humans. Fucking brain zaps, you know what I’m saying? Celebrity sex parties are always interesting, unless they’re not. I would like to meet a girl with a really tremendous laugh, I think. Lawyers accept sex as payment, which doesn’t seem like news, but apparently is news. The toilet was created by a man named Thomas Crapper. Actually, that’s not true, but he greatly popularized it, though his name may not be the origin of “crap,” sadly. I’m just over the moon about Alison Brie. And Tracy Clark-Flory, of course. Life constantly feels like a race that you can’t really ever win.

I don’t care what anyone says, the word “doppelgänger” is still really cool and maybe, just maybe, I should get some badass venetian blinds for my johari window? The male gaze of the internet can be so fucking weird. And when I say that, I’m really talking about all you clavicle lovers out there. This song could get you pregnant if you’re not careful. Don’t you just want to sell everything you own and roam the country in a lamborghini? That and I really want to go swimming in the ocean right now. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then when?

Search Party 02.

Continuing from the last time we looked at it, here’s just a few more of the things that people have searched for and then found ye old Counterforce through…

The weirdest: “Priceless arse slap.” No idea what post they found with that.

Also weird: “sexyhousewife271@aol.com.”

And, yes, also weird: “men with big dicks always cheat,” which brought up this, which isn’t terribly off, I guess.

And, “60s milkshake machine,” which brought up nothing that I can tell.

Lost Desmond Toroid Coil.” Sorry, Desmond, but Google Search is not through with you yet!

Nobody human has anything to say to me today!”

“Amelia Pond, like a name in a fairy tale.” Nice.

And also “Karen Gillan” along with “nightie,” and then there’s always this…

An interesting one: “Lois Chiles in The Great Gatsby.” Also, “Gatsby style.”

Blair Brown.”

Cindy Meston.”

“Sylvia Plath vs. Anne Sexton.” Who do you think would win?

Tracy Clark-Flory.”

Some people are hot for teacher: “Miss Farrell.”

Every possible thing you could tie in with Kim Kardashian

“Sextape” and “tape” and “video” and “sex video” and “sex” and and “bikini” and “boobs” and “tits” and “ass” and “pussy” and “crazy.” Oh, for the love of Ray J, people! It troubles me that no one wants to google what Kim Kardashian thinks of the Fermi paradox or what happened to the Roanoke colony or even what her favorite color is. But I’ll get over it.

Also, I imagine that, based on the picture above, we might finally start getting hits for Kim Kardashian and “oral.” One can only hope…

Empty movie theater.”

At least someone out there searched for “Oak Island.”

And “ghost town and ghost city pics.”

Amber Tamblyn is hideous.” Ouch.

The lady in red betrayed him.” Oh man, that’s the story of my life.

Peanut St. Cosmo is insane.”

Also, every single thing you try to tie in with Tina Fey

“Sexy” and glasses” and “hot” and “hot pics” and “Sarah Palin” and “butt.” Butt? Really? Of all the things you people are curious about when it comes to the lovely and immensely talented Tina Fey, you want to search for pictures of her ass?

Fuck Yeah Sayid.” Nice.

Robert Mapplethorpe” and “black men” together.

Gene Siskel moustache.”

Thurber bad riding wolf.”

Sean Connery on the set.”

“Bartlett” and “War of the roses” together.

“Crazy mad linkage.” Ha ha.

“Crazy juice” and “I saw you and him walking in the rain” together.

Failsafe condom.”

“Levi’s campaign go forth.”

Deep red cover,” which… I don’t what that means. It sounds either dirty or nasty though.

“Sci fi landscapes.”

Super eclipse.”

Time wave zero.”

Is Megan Fox a fucking robot?”

Teenage Wasteland.

Teens have it so hard today, man.

A quick summary of something stupid: Miley Cyrus. Teen Choice Awards. Pole dancing. It looks like this:

Compared to the Sean Kingston thing from a while back, yeah, there’s a big of a double standard going on why this is not okay and that is supposedly okay.

But I think before you even get into objectification and underage sexual representation and, honestly, hypocrisy toward young female sexuality, I have to register this point again: Why is Miley Cyrus a successful pop star again? I feel like ten years ago we were force fed Britney Spears as a joke (herself a slightly more trashier version of someone like… Tiffany)(Though “I Think We’re Alone Now” is still awesome and “Hit Me Baby One More Time” was never all that awesome), and now it’s like that joke has become a wound and BillyRay Cyrus’ daughter is the salt that the Evil Music Industry Powers That Be are stabbing us with because they can.

It’s such a bizarre conundrum of the young female pop star, any young female pop star, with some initial talent and something marketable that is then seemingly surgically removed and changed into something even more marketable. She teases subliminal and not so subliminal interests of naughty sex and eroticized youth while possibly not quite understanding it herself. And not being given the breathing room to actually make that journey of discovery (which, yes, involves the breaking of certain boundaries to see what they’re made of). All the while surrounded by adults who should know better, but possibly don’t know better, or just have $$$ in their eyes. Then there’s the younger generation, who either are lead to believe that this is okay, this is socially acceptable, or that actually find something they can relate to, a down home-ness, a simpler mindset, an affinity for something positive in skeeziness.

I’ll stop myself there. I understand how it all works and because of that, I don’t understand how all of this actually works. And I don’t want to. Who are the positive young female role models for their youthful peers in this country?

Beyond that, there’s questions that come with certain aspects of pop culture – lolita obsessions, violence in movies, really bad music that is more choreography than actually listenable music – that don’t have answers. They just pose more and more questions and shudders of worry about posterity. Does everything fall into This Is What They Want?

Obviously she’s not American, but one of the many reason I like Lily Allen is because I still get the sense that she’s either doing or at least trying to do everything on her own terms. Her mistakes and her successes have one very important thing in common: They belong to her equally. Also, she’s awesome.

I’ll leave this particular spice of WTF with saner words than I can manage on the subject, one of Counterforce’s favorite internet crushes, Tracy Clark-Flory:

“That’s some potent imagery: an emblem of childhood (an ice cream cart) juxtaposed with a symbol of modern young womanhood (a stripper pole). Looks like her managers are following the Britney Spears sexy-virgin path to success — or self-destruction, depending on your perspective.”

In other news:

Meteor shower tonight!

Jake Ryan: “Be my guest.”

Will Arnett and Mitch Hurwitz team up for new FOX pilot.

Big Willie Styles in Vegas for his B-day.

Crystal ball sets hour on fire. Should’ve seen that coming!

Guy coming to rescue gets shot in the balls.

Watch Community, the new pilot starring Joel McHale and Chevy Chase.

Everyone wants a piece of you…

Contradictions and cosmic loneliness.

“Too shallow to be truly lonely,” Pauline Kael wrote in her review of L’Avventura, “they are people trying to escape their boredom by reaching out to one another and finding only boredom again.”

“Like most novelists, I like to do exactly the opposite of what I’m told.”

-Haruki Murakami, defying protests to accept the Jerusalem Prize.

“People don’t turn to self-help books to be reminded of the complexity of life or human relationships, they want an Oprah-esque ‘a-ha!’ moment that allows them to take charge and move on with their lives. (See: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.) So, I get it. The only thing I don’t get about HJNTIY is why, after a guy promises he’ll call and then doesn’t, plans a date and then ditches, the response should be ‘he’s just not that into me’ instead of ‘he’s an inconsiderate asshole, and I shouldn’t be that into him’?”

-Tracy Clark-Flory in Broadsheet.

“When so many are lonely… as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.”

-Tennessee Williams.

from here.

The above is from a letter written by Zelda to F. Scott, May, 1919.

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”

-Walt Whitman.

Do gravity holes harbour planetary assassins?

from here. (Thanks, Elvira!)

“The whole world is you. Yet you keep thinking there is something else.”

-Hsue-Feng.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: If there is any reaction, both are changed.”

-Carl Jung.